My husband's mother calls EVERY day. She wants to know everything and he does give her details of everything even when we fight. I really do not know how to let him know how much it bothers me; I have already told him but he takes it as if I was just being mean to her. She looks for an excuse to call every day, and the other day she told me she should know everything because she is his mom. She is a nice lady but I am starting to feel a little bit ticked off about it.
2006-12-26 12:18:39 · 18 answers · asked by Jessica G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Same thing happend to me when i got married.Apparently I had married the "Baby" and his mom wasn't gonna let me forget it. I finally had to sit him down and have a talk with him.I got him to understand my feelings.We just let the phone ring and didnt answer it when she would call...after a while she got the hint.Now she only calls about once a week.
I told my husband that this is our personal and PRIVATE life.He was married to me not her.
I will say that things are much,much better now and we are very happy. And his Mom?Well.....she has learned her place.LOL.
2006-12-26 12:21:48 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be ticked off too! But honestly that doesn't solve anything. In fact, it will just lead to more problems. My suggestion is to continue to let your husband visit with his mother as much as he feels he needs to. However, discuss with him that there should be boundries and you can let him know what your boundries are. If he continues to cross those boundries, then refuse to create the issues that are those boundries. Always maintain a sweet spirit about everything though. Never use his mother against him, especially during an argument. This will do no good for anyone. He has more than likely always talked to his mother about everything. Being married is not going to change th at for him. If it comes down to it, seek a counselor for yourself so that you have someone to discuss things with just like he does. Once you explain to him that you need someone to talk to like he talks to his mother, maybe his eyes will be opened, but no guarantee.
2006-12-26 20:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you have come to a crossroads. You unfortunately seem to have married a major "momma's boy" who has forgotten that bit in the marriage vows about how a man has to leave his parents and cleave unto his wife.
You may be a lot more tolerant than me. I wouldn't put up with it, and would give my husband a strong ultimatum. I would tell him that there are supposed to be two people in a marriage, and three is a crowd. She is his mother, no longer his Mommy and NO NO NO she does NOT have the right to "know everything" For her even to suggest that shows her to be a controlling, intrusive fussbudget, and somebody is going to have to "fix her waggon". If it were my husband I would confront him with the stark reality that he is going to have to decide who he wants to be married to... .me, or his mother, because, if you don't bring this matter to a head, and get it resolved, you are going to have to face the fact that this is what you're going to live with for a very long time. You may have to bring it to the point of the most serious choice -he either shapes up, or you ship out. If that is more drastic than you are prepared to go with it, then I regret the only alternative is to suck it up.
2006-12-26 20:38:30 · answer #3 · answered by sharmel 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Does your mother-in-law know the term that when two people get married that the in-laws become out-laws. Has she come to the realization that her son has his own home to run without her help. Your husband needs to be a big man and keep her out of his married life.
You need to sit your husband down and pour your heart out to him. If he loves you he will see how hurt you are and will let his mum know that she is making it difficult for you two to develop your relationship.
2006-12-26 20:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by clar 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my motherinlaw is really nosey too. its difficult to discuss this with a son of women like this. afterall it is his mom. he needs to realize that some things are private and that not everything is up for discussion with the mom.
she does NOT need to know everything. your husband needs to be on board with you. best to just try to talk it out so he sees how you feel, if that doesn't work... try counseling.
the mom needs to cut the apron strings. sounds like she may be depressed, bored or something. maybe if you could do some special things with her only -- she may turn around a bit.
2006-12-26 20:24:04 · answer #5 · answered by curious_One 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't know this about your husband before you married him? Don't beat around the bush tell him how you feel about this Mommy knowing all of your bussines. YOu might need to show him rather than tell him how you feel about this matter. Actions speak louder than words!
2006-12-26 20:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not ignore her, she is your mother-in-law. When you have kids you will need her. You will need to drop them off at her house when you need to go to work of run errends. You don't want to start a life-long fued against you and her. Try and talk to her, you be the one to tell her what is going on. Talk to your husband about telling her to limit it to every other day.
To me it looks like she just wants in on your life. Invite her over more and go out to dinner with your husband and her. If you want to keep a mother-in-law, or more importantly...your husband, you need to find a way to make peace. If your husband says "no" to talking to her, try doing it yourself.
-Azooga-
2006-12-26 20:25:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him I said to grow a pair. My mother meddled in my marriage too. It's time for him to realize you are the number one woman in his life and that means he has to stand up to his mother and give her boundaries.
He can be polite about it, but he has to be firm.
Put it this way to him. Is he in charge of his house, or is his mother?
2006-12-26 20:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by MithrilHawk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow what a gross relationship.. he is a sissy.
What man tells their mom all the details of their fight with their g/f?
Start calling his mom and telling her all the things you want him to know..
When its time for dinner.. call her and tell her if she can call him and tell him that you are ready for him to eat...
Then when you need some toilet paper.. call her and tell her that you need her to tell him that you need toilet paper and you are stuck in the bathroom right now with a turtle head poken out...
Maybe she will get the hint?
2006-12-26 20:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by yo mama 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yeah, she's his mom, but YOU'RE his wife. You need to have a heart to heart with him, and tell him of your feelings. There is nothing wrong with him staying close with his mom, especially since one day she won't be here anymore. But he needs to understand that what happens in your house, stays in your house. It's really none of his mom's business. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-26 20:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋