How to deal with temper tantrums?

Question

My daughter is nine months old and is starting to show signs of temper tantrums. She is doing them when I take her away from something dangerous; waiting for me to get dinner to the table; or if I take a toy away that she is getting frustrated with and try to pacify her with another toy. We have a split home I am kinda wondering if that has something to do with that. Where not everything thing is the same when she is at her fathers house opposed to being at home. We try to keep everything pretty much the same for her, but she is catered to a little more when she is there. What can or should I do when she is throwing this fits?

I know Nine month olds don't usually throw temper tantrums but mine is and I am not sure if I should handle it like you would a toddler or whether I should soothe her. No ignorant comments please and thankyou, if you don't know what your talking about answer another question please. TY

Answer 1

When she starts throwing the tantrum, take her immediately to her room and put her in either a playpen or crib, walk out and close the door so you don't have to listen to her. Check back in a few minutes and she will either be playing quietly or asleep. Without an audience tantrums don't last very long.

Answer 2

I may not be the best person to answer this but I have had alot of experience with young children as I'm a reception teacher and playgroup leader. I understand a two year old can't reason or understand as much as a child starting school but I always found the children that had tantrums you could usually spot the beginning signs and there was a pattern to the behaviour. Your toddler is having tantrums to get your attention or show frustration - can you spot/ tell when the tantrum is about to start? Is there a trigger? The children I've worked with always benefitted from distraction techniques or me spotting their frustration, recognising it and reassuring them that although they were quite justified in feeling upset their behaviour was inappropriate - hitting/ biting etc. If you can step in before they fly off the handle and you retain a calming effect on the situation- better for you a you can reassure - yes you are feeling upset (important to say that's fine to feel mad) and give a big cuddle or distract their attention to a toy/ helping you - or even do something unexpected. Its really important you stay calm though and reassure. Then, this is the really important part praise praise praise! (I know that's easier said than done though!) Sanctions are always a last resort - usually the tantrum has gone too far and the child feels they can't back down - hence get them before they go but not always possible! I've used the naughty mat and had exactly the same problems you've had - it takes a lot of time and patience to sit a purple two year old down in a full paddy!!!! Again it works best staying extra cool calm and being consistent - if she can't be hurt let her throw the shoes but then reinforce putting them back with her once she's calmed down and done the step - again praising when she does it. Good luck!

Answer 3

Ignore the tempertanrums. She has to learn that she is not going to get attention when she acts up. She is pushing her limits and knows what gets to you....yes at nine months they know how to wrap mom and dad around their little finger. The sooner you nip it in the butt the easyer it will be later on.
take her away from the danger and if she has a fit just walk away. Dont give in or give her any attention. She will stop crying, it will not hurt a kid to cry for a little while. Then when she stops give her hugs and kisses but only after the tantrum is over, that way she learns that kind of behavior will not make you give in. Once you start giving into her the older she gets the harder it will be.

Answer 4

My son also started temper tantrums young. This is what I was told and it works. First of all, ALWAYS speak to your child like you are talking to another adult. NO baby talk. The number one reason that a child throws a temper tantrum is because of not being able to communicate effectively. We taught our son sign language for simple things like milk, food, please and thank you. This age is perfect for sign language by the way. Watch her body language. The signs of frustration will be there before she "spins out". Instead of just "no, no" when you are removing her from danger tell her that it is dangerous and she will get an owie. I am telling you when you talk to your kids like this they develop an excellent vocabulary and communication skills. Our 2.5 year old and been speaking in FULL sentences since he was 19 months old. You can carry on a conversation with him. We have very few melt downs because he articulates when he is frustrated.

When he does have a fit our rule is "you are allowed to be angry but if you want to be ugly, be ugly in your own bedroom". He gets his frustration out and I don't have to see or hear it.

Just remember, it's normal, but the sooner you develop a way to communicate with her the easier it will be for both of you.

Answer 5

while the split home might affect her, its also possible she is just strong willed, my daughter was, what i did, when she started a tantrum, was to take her and place her on a chair, or on the sofa,, get you a inexpensive kitchen timer, or use your microwave timer, set it for 30 seconds,,,,, just keep doing that, for misbehavior, slowly work up to a minute by the time she is one or so,,,, she will learn time outs for negative behavior,,,,,,you also can use a playpen or her crib at this age, that way you wont have to sit and hold her on the chair,,, but either way, make sure she knows that everything stops, she goes to timeout,,,,,, just do it calmly, after telling her once to stop,, a second time say stop or time out, the third time do it,,,,, dont offer alot of explanation, just let her know this is how it is at moms house,,,,,,, share with her father the technique you are using,,,,,,, while some might say this is too young to discipline, it isnt,,, my daughter started temper tantrums at 6 months old, when she didnt want to get dressed,,,,,, it worked with her,,,,,,,,,

Answer 6

its best that you do what you need to do. im not saying ignore her but your the parent and ches the child. if she throws and a tantrum first try to talk 2 her. try 2 explain why you did it. if she keeps going on ignore it. just say okay and walk away. dont baby her. shell eventually calm her self down because shell get tired of cryin or screaming. hope i was some help

Answer 7

Ignore her and walk away. Even though her father might give her anything she wants you don't have to and she will realize the difference between the homes, and he will have a heck of a time when she gets a bit older. Don't give into her she needs discipline. Good luck.

Answer 8

As long as she is not in a position to hurt herself or others pay as little attention to her tantrums as humanly possible. An apathetic audience will get to the most determined toddler eventually.

Answer 9

Try To Calm Her Down..... Stop It While She's Young So You Wont Have To Deal With It Later.

Answer 10

tantrums are done for one reason - attention

what i used to do is i walked away, i stop giving them the audiance they wanted for their tantrum, even if it was outside id walk away and just hide around a corner.

once the kid realises his/her target audiance is not watching he/she gives up