I'm 29 and just graduated from uni as a primary teacher. I'd like to go travelling but I also want to adopt (please dont give me any advice regarding this my mind is very made up!) Anyway I was wondering about the best way to go about it. Do you think I should go travelling come back and then do it? Also I am unsure about where I am going to adopt from.......its very expensive to adopt from abroad, and I am thinking more along the lines of adopting with my local authority. Another problem is that I am still in student accomodation, so may need an established home environment before even trying it. Oh and Im also gay*. So as you can see everything is simple and easy with me!
*And get lost if you dont agree, my friends and family know I will make a great Dad!
2006-12-26 10:36:04 · 8 answers · asked by chrismyarse 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hey Surly Curly thanks, hey dont worry its not a problem for me but I know what people on here are like and I didnt want my answers all bogged down with homophobics! cheers.
2006-12-26 10:57:34 · update #1
My husband and I adopted our daughter (from China) with the idea of taking her everywhere we went... and we do. Now we have 3 adopted daughters,(two adopted from foster care) and one more China adoption in the works. (It's too risky to adopt in the US, the birth mother and father still have rights to the child even after the adoption is final.) You want to make sure you are settled before you adopt, traveling is easy with kids, MOVING is not. Most adoption agencies require that you have a more or less permanent home, I don't think student accommodations would qualify, but an apartment probably would. You need a steady income and health insurance for the child. I totally promote traveling with your kids, why have them if you're gonna leave them with a sitter? My husband and I formerly traveled with one backpack, two bathing suits and our tooth brushes, now we travel like we're on Cleopatra's barge... but it's SO MUCH MORE FUN with the kids.
Your sexual orientation does not matter one bit in parenting. It's more important that you WANT to be a dad, and are determined to be a good dad and provider. Just be sure you're financially capable of the extra expenses they incur. Congratulations on your decision, Dad.
2006-12-26 14:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would think if you wanted to travel you should go ahead and do that before you adopt. Because once you have a child you won't be able to do all of the traveling that you want to do. And like someone else said I believe that it is cheaper (though not hardly cheap) to adopt a baby outside of the United States. Also I know that there is a few states that do not allow a gay to adopt. So you would need to check into that as well. But good luck with everything and I hope you get the baby you've always wanted!
2006-12-26 10:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by lahaunna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to travel it is best to do so then get settled into your career and home before adopting. Once the adoption is legalized ( you may not be able to travel abroad without the adoption finalized for passport reasons) you could then take the child with you to expose them to different cultures. Being gay does not make someone a bad parent. I know several people that are gay that are better parents than some people that are not gay. China is changing their family limit laws, so it may be impossible to adopt from there now. It was just on the news a few days ago.
2006-12-26 10:41:29 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you a bit mistaken, adopting a child domestically is much more expensive than adopting from several other countries. It is also nearly impossible to get a young child under two.
I have researched adopting from China heavily, and even for the week long trip their with minimal expenses, the total is 15,000-25,000k. There are many baby girls who are viewed as unwanted in their culture, and many die if they are not adopted.
I'm not sure about their policy on adoption by homosexuals though, they are adopting stricter rules that go into affect May 5th.
2006-12-26 10:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, travel first and broaden your horizens. Life with a child is expensive so it may be a few years before you can afford to do it again. Also adoption is a long drawn out process so be prepared for a long wait.
Good luck.
2006-12-26 10:40:45 · answer #5 · answered by L D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do your travelling first - having kids especially adoptive kids who may have many issues of their own which will need consistancy to sort out may not be ones you could take on the road with you
i could be wrong about the second point but if i am not then that would be good advice
2006-12-26 11:27:21 · answer #6 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing to say.... Go travelling FIRST! Once you have children, (however you come about them!) travelling will be the last thing on your mind!
ok so i have another thing to say!.... rid yourself of having the need to defend yourself about being gay + a dad! Any man can be a good dad, whether he is biological father, adoptive, step, gay, straight, or used to be a woman! being a dad, a GOOD dad, is about being there for your child/ren to rely on.
Good luck with fatherhood, and enjoy your travelling!
2006-12-26 10:49:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not ready. No job, no home of your own and you want to travel ? I hope you're rich then.
2006-12-26 10:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jenniphur 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋