I loved this joke..Do you have a joke tonight?

Question

Pharmacist Phun

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

Answer 1

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?


PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “That driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you!


Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.


lol really funny ones

Answer 2

it's funny / thanks

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this BS. I gotta go home and screw the cat."

Answer 3

Missing
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, had dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4 inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yeah, but who wants HIM back?"

Answer 4

Wooo Hooo!!!






Signed: The Overweight Lover

Answer 5

How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he has to do it ten days, three times a day.

Answer 6

what a silly joke!
i have one for you.
"two guys go for a walk with their dogs on a saturday. one has a great dane, and the other his wife's pomeranian. they had been walking for about an hour when they passed a Barbecue Resteraunt. the Great Dane Guy says to his friend,
"holy cow, am i hungry. lets go in and get something to eat."
the other guy says,
"but what about our dogs? we can't bring them in and my wife would kill me if i left Fluffy outside."
the Great Dane guy nodded, and said,
"i know. just do what i do, okay?'
so the pomeranian guy watched as his friend took out pare of dark sungasses and puts them on. the he heads for the door of the BBQ resteraunt.
as he is nearing the entrance, the man at the door says,
"i'm sorry sir, but we can't allow dogs here."
the Great Dane guy turned to him, and replied,
"but this is my guide dog, surely i should be able to bring him in!"
the doorman looked quizikally at the dog.
"a great dane?"
the man nodded.
"yup, they're using them now. great dogs for disabled people."
the doorman looked at the dog one more time, and then shrugged his shoulders.
"alriht fine. go ahead."
the the great dane man entered the resteraunt.
Fluffy's owner observed, and then pulled out his sunglasses.
"huh. that's brilliant." he thought.
he headed towards the door, trying to look as blind as possible. when he had reached the entrance, the doorman said politely,
"i'm sorry sir, no dogs allowed."
the 'blind man' looked up at him.
"but surely i could bring in my guide dog, right?"
the dooman rolled his eyes.
"a Pomeranien? are you sure?"
the blind man looked shocked, and after a moment, yelled,
"A POMERANIEN? THEY GAVE ME A POMERANIEN?"

{hope that made you smile!}

Answer 7

So a Jamacian guy is applying for a job. The employer gives him a test that he has to pass.
"Express, without using numbers, 9," he says. The jamacian guy takes the paper. He draws three pictures on it.
"Tree plus tree plus tree is nine," he says, and proudly holds up his drawing of three trees.
"Ok," says the employer, "Now express 99." The guy draws a smudge on each tree.
"There. Dirty tree plus dirty tree plus dirty tree." The employer is thinking to himself, wow, I might actually have to hire this guy.
"Fine," he says. "If you can express 100, you get the job."
"Dat is easy." He draws a little dot by each of the trees. "A dog come and poop by the trees. Dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd equalls 100. "

Answer 8

This is kinda dirty ok?
What's green and red and smells like Ms. Piggy?


(Kermits finger!)

Answer 9

Heh,heh,heh how about these:

How do you know your waitress is pissed at you?
She serves your bloody mary with a string hanging down the side

Vin

Answer 10

Sorry, I don't have a joke. However, the joke that you loved is one I've heard before...