married b/c he said he has not found the right one. He attends church regulary and shares my same values. I met him through a college instructor who I have been friends with for several years and she thinks we would make a great couple. She said she has thought this for some time but due to our age difference she was afraid of what I might say. The problem is I am 25 and he is 40. I don't know to many people who have married older men. I am wondering if i were your best friend and came and told you this what advice would you give me? I do have parents to deal with this also.
2006-12-26 09:11:17 · 25 answers · asked by Ashley_LS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Age is just a number. You are an adult and so long as you are paying your own way in this world no one has the right, parents, or not, to tell you what to do in your own life. If you two love each other and it feels right to you then those that love you should be able to see this and want what is best for you.
2006-12-26 09:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by deep_hearted_empath 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion is that if you two share the same interests and values and love each other, than the age difference doesn't matter. Really. It might be wierd if he had kids your age (or close to), but he doesn't. 15 years isn't a horrible difference, either, and you'll find that as you grow older together, that age gap will close. Tell your parents before they meet him so it isn't a big shock, but I bet they'll be fine with it once they see you two together.
I have a SIL and some friends married to men much older than them, and except for talking about music from their high school years, it doesn't make a difference!
2006-12-26 09:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by sleepyfrog76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you were my best friend & you came to me w/ this i'd tell you to go for it. it's not every day that you find someone that shares the same values as you do, especially if you do your best to lead a Christian life. let's leave your mom & dad out of this for a minute. do YOU like this man? does he make you feel warm, beautiful & safe? do ya'll laugh together & does he make you smile & vice versa? do you think you could have a future? if these things are true then you need to give it a shot. age really isnt that big a deal; unless you're 15 and he's 32 or something...that's not ok...but once your past around 22 or 23 age sorta fades to the background. it did for me at least. i enjoy men who are a little older than me or a lot older, :). i get along w/ them better & they seem to be a bit more grounded & level headed. i'm 26 and date a man that is 33. that's not quite your age difference...but it's a wonderful relationship & i love him a lot. you need to do what's good for you, not what's good for mom & dad. that's what i'd tell you if you were my best friend. good luck!
2006-12-26 09:21:56 · answer #3 · answered by nurdburd13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell you that age is just a number, you cant put age on maturity, b/c I'm sure you have seen men at the age of 20 that have the maturity level a 35 year old should have, and you've seen men at the age of 35 that think they are 18. If you two fall in love and want to be together you should let age stand in the way nor what outsiders think, good luck!
2006-12-26 09:15:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself an honest question: is it a turn-off for YOU? Different people have different opinion. Some even have experience when it worked well. Some will say "no way". Really, you are the only one who can answer this. And yes, it's OK turn someone down on the basis of age. It's just as OK to marry someone significantly older/younger.
2006-12-26 09:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my wife is 10 years older than me and we've been together for 17 years. So age gaps are manageable.
That said, I'd make sure you spend alot of time with him before committing to anything - the lifestyle you like at 25 may not be the lifestyle he likes at 40.
Good luck.
2006-12-26 09:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by Vincent F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself if you have similar interests? Shared values are great and wonderful but you need to have something in common like liking the same type of music, cooking, gardening etc etc etc. The only way to know this is to talk to him and get to know him more. You also have to think about the age difference If y'all get married he'll be 65 when you are 50. I think you get what I am saying. Whatever your decision good luck!!!!
2006-12-26 09:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by BamaJJP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason that age tends to be a problem is that people tend to approach life differently at different ages, and have different goals at different points. Most times these differences are so severe that it makes it impossible to be a couple
If you are in the same place in your lives, regardless of the chronological, then all you have to deal with is the bigitory of those who think you are his daughter.
Are you in the same place in your lives?
Good luck.
2006-12-26 09:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by There you are∫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are distinct advantages to marrying an older man. He has sown his wild oats, he is settled in a career and has acquired some wealth, he has a more mature perspective of life and is likely to be more patient and understand and he should be sexually experienced.
Of course all of that is a statistical generalization. Perhaps none of that applies to him.
Disadvantages, he is not likely to want to go out and party everynight and his sex drive may not be as active as that of a 25 year old.
2006-12-26 09:15:25 · answer #9 · answered by Dane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you came to me with this scenario, I would wonder why this 'wonderful guy' hasn't found the right one at the age of 40? Maybe you should take things slowly and see him for abit longer, from there you should be able to get a better picture and see where things pan out.
2006-12-26 09:26:14 · answer #10 · answered by thenearlyman786 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋