There's a guy at the college I attend who has asked me out several times. I've always been very polite and nice towards him, but I don't like him (not just romantically, I don't like him as a person). People say it's snobby for me to say, "I have no interest in being friends with him." I don't see why. There are dozens of people around me at school that I see everyday, but I may never speak with or become friends with them. Why is it so snobby to not want to know someone? Am I wrong about this? I really want to know.
2006-12-26 09:00:31 · 11 answers · asked by Blackadder 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
no. it'd be snobby to pretend to be friends with him and talk trash about him behind his back
actually, i think that'd just be b****y...
but no, i don't think it's snobby, as long as you're still polite to him
2006-12-26 09:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tala 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would only be snobby if you aren't woman enough to say it to his face. I mean to act completely opposite of your opinion of this kat, is kind of 2 faced. Guys and hints are like peanut butter and grits. They don't work! So if you are always polite and nice towards him, chances are he probably assumes you'd be a cool friend, because you ARE nice and polite. However if you have no interest in even being friends then you shouldn't even bother to be nice. Guys understand things at face value the best, so it's not snobby not to want to know someone but it is just plain foolishness to not be forthright; otherwise, you may be asking for more trouble than you're willing to tolerate. The quicker the kat knows the quicker he's out of your hair. Don't be afraid to hurt his feelings. If there's ANYBODY that understands rejection in this world and does NOT waste time in sifting through the rest of the millions of people available to get to know on this planet, it's DEFINITELY the male gender.
2006-12-26 17:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by donbenecio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to refuse a date with him, and there is no need to be friends with every person who wants to be friends with you. So you are perfectly entitled to do what you have been doing.
Perhaps they mean that your attitude, or the WAY you say "I have no interest in being friends with him" sounds snobbish, as if you have judged him without getting to know him at all, or that even if you did know him well, he is still beneath you or isn't worth the time of day to you. I'm sure you don't MEAN it that way, but that may be how it's coming across to other people. Try to phrase it in a different way so they understand better - you could say "I have other friends and interests and studies I'd rather focus on" or "I'm concerned that he's trying to use the 'just friends' angle to keep pursuing me romantically, and I'm not comfortable with giving him the wrong idea." Or give the specific reasons why you don't like him as a person - you suspect he's racist, a drunk, a womanizer, mean, etc.
2006-12-26 17:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tried to explain this to my boyfriend weeks ago. I too, am considered wrong for not wanting to get to know people who seem uninteresting. It is not "snobby", I see it as a buffer. I can screen people out of my life. Maybe you consider yourself to be very private and dont want to let people who hold no importance to you in your life. It's not snobby, it's being protective of your life.
2006-12-26 17:06:33 · answer #4 · answered by ting_tang21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound snobby to me. Maybe it is something I am missing. Maybe it has to do with how you talk to him. It is really hard to say. If they think you are snobby just because you don't want to know him then they are crazy.
2006-12-26 19:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know your situation better than any of us.
What would you want someone to say to you if the roles were reversed?
But don't forget, you have every much a right to happiness as he does, and it sounds like his presence really bothers you.
You're on your own, babe!!
2006-12-26 20:35:07 · answer #6 · answered by ThatGuy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong with this. Some people are so desperate to be liked, they can't understand why anyone would not like another person. Sad but true. Tell the people to be friends with this guy, or better yet, have them date him. Why would you make yourself miserable? That would be stupid. To thine own self be true.
2006-12-26 19:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by shanney fan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'd be snobby if you thought you better than him.
If it's because you're just not interested, there is nothing snobbish about that.
2006-12-26 17:18:48 · answer #8 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're not snobby, when you just don't click then why try.Stay the way you are.The people that tell you stuff are not really being themselves....
2006-12-26 17:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, not snobby at all. if you don't like the dude...u don't like him. no big deal. be upfront but cordial. like you have been. =)
2006-12-26 17:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by Snki55ed Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋