I had an abortion two months ago and now I found out I am pregnant again. I am so scared & dont no what to do.

Question

I am married and I didn't believe in abortions for myself. I found out I was pregnant and me and my husband were going thru a divorce, not to mention financially we couldn't afford it. Or so he said. he has a great job and I go to school full time and have a 7 year old daughter already. I didn't want any children but had been on pills for 7 years and was at a high risk due to my health. I told him I was getting off the pill and he said okay, he would use condoms. He didn't. Instead I went through it all alone. He moved out before the abortion and was dating while I was going thru it. Then he decided that he wanted to be with me again. So me being stupid said okay. I long for the baby that I killed. I feel bad every day for it and I guess I desperately wanted one. But at the same time I knew nothing had changed. I told him how I felt and asked him to please be strong for both of us and use protection without me begging him every time. That didn't work. And now I am pregnant again &alone

Answer 1

I think you really do know what to do. You know that it's not right to let anyone hurt your baby. I'm going to be blunt, but it's out of genuine concern for both you and your baby. It's not your baby's fault that your husband is a jerk, and it's not your baby's fault that you decided to have sex with him again. Your baby is totally innocent in all of this. Please let her live. She is depending on you for protection. You are NOT alone. You have your baby inside you and your daughter beside you, and God is waiting for you to come to Him in repentance and do the right thing this time. If you put your faith in Jesus, He will help you. Please, go to http://www.healinghearts.org and sign up for their free post-abortion study. You will be paired with an email counselor, most likely a woman who has aborted a baby herself. You can work through all the issues surrounding your last abortion, so that you will be all ready to be the best mommy possible to the little baby you are carrying now.

If you need some help doing the right thing, please take a look at these websites. Some of them may cause you pain, but it is essential that you get the information you need to help you be strong this time:

Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

If you need any kind of help or just someone to talk to, please go to a pregnancy care center near you. All of their services are totally free. They can give you referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free ultrasounds (at many centers); free maternity and baby supplies; and counseling and emotional support. You can find one near you here:
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

or by calling 1-800-395-HELP.

Remember, your husband is legally responsible to help support this child, whether he is in your life or not. If you need help making sure you receive child support, talk to the people at the pregnancy care center.

You can do the right thing. Resolve to protect yourself and your baby, and stick to it.

Answer 2

First off im sorry you had an abortion without having someone to talk to about your options. Im also sorry you had to go threw it alone and really he doesnt deserve you hun. No one here is God and should be judging you about your decion. But now that your pregnant again maybe its a sign that your meant to have a baby. And remember how awful you felt after the abortion. And if you truely feel you cant take care of the baby just have it and give it up for adoption it will be easier on you. But if you do decide to have the baby there are many programs to help you while you are in school and working. But just remember dont let him push you into anything and he doesnt deserve to have you. YOU ARE BETTER. He has no right to walk in and out of your life whenever he feels like he needs a "booty call" you have your respect and USE IT! I wish you all the luck in the world and just make sure to go over your options. And never feel you cant do it alone cause your not, you got family, friends and help from special services. Good luck

Answer 3

Keep one thing in mind!! ABORTION IS NOT BIRTH CONTROL!!
To a point I feel for you and to another point, you should feel bad. I believe God does everything for a reason. And if it's true that you long for the baby that you killed. Maybe this is God's way of forgiving you and giving you that second chance. So, don't blow that second chance. Give a life to this baby!! If you can't afford it. ADOPTION!! There are many couples that will pay for all medical bills, adoption, and even money to you for that baby they have always longed for.

To tell you the truth about how I feel about the situation. I can't see how in the world you have a 7 year old daughter and had an abortion. Knowing that you carried LIFE, felt that baby move, and held her in your arms. You know what you did, when you did it. I'm a mother of 3 going on 4 and there is no way in HELL I would have an abortion knowing that baby depends on me for 9mo for the nutrition, protection and caring to make it in this world.

Take responsibility for your actions and have the baby!!
You don't want it....Give it up for adoption to a family that cares and get your tubes tied!!

Answer 4

you have options.
You can have the baby and force him to pay child support ( however, that is a never ending cycle if he chooses NOT to pay )
You can have the baby and give it up for adoption knowing that somewhere there is a couple ready and willing to take care of this baby that you are not financially able to care for.
From the sound of it you don't seem to be emotionally able to handle another abortion so I would not consider that option.

Whatever you choose base it on what you want because at this point it is obvious he did not make choices with you in mind.

There are plenty of services to help you with the financial part of raising this child. YES it is hard but you can do it. Keep up with your schooling and get your degree- it will only help in the end. Apply for any and every type financial aid. The worst that can happen is you will be turned down but you will not know until you apply. You may be surprised by what you find inside yourself that will overcome this hardship.

Good luck!!

Answer 5

Well I am sorry for what you went trough not knowing what to do and being alone you made your first decision and now it is time to make another if it is hard to live with your first decision then you probably want to go another route this time cause ultimately you are the one who will have to live with it in the end so don't make your life full of unbearable decisions that you made vastly do whatever it is that you have to do as far as making your pregnancy stressful and if your husband wants a divorce give it to him and do it on your own women are built strong all you have to do is search within yourself and find your strength you do not need him being unsupportive so look to yourself and find the motivation you need to continue your life with or without your husband and your children nobody should be here to judge we should be here to help trust em you can do it and eventually you will find some one who loves you and both of your children endlessly and who will work as a team with you keep your head up in order to get the bigger and better things out of life you must let go of the smaller things.I wish you the best.Find your strength!!!Tee

Answer 6

What is the best case scenario for this new baby? Single mother, already saddled with one kid and no dad. Hmm...unless your financial circumstances have changed, you can't afford this baby now, either.
Stop viewing this as a replacement for the "baby you killed". What you did was a medical procedure to remove an embryo before it could grow into a baby. No more a murder than menstruation is. So what do you want? Another child to be a witness to your fatally bad taste in men and lack of self-esteem?
Get yourself together, woman. Get to a clinic and get this pregnancy terminated, then you and your daughter get strong together. And stay away from that man.

Answer 7

Abortion is hurtful both to the unborn child and to oneself in many ways. It sounds like you are in a very difficult and painful situation. I think you may always regret aborting the first child. If you abort another child you may end up regretting the loss of both children. No matter what you decide to do in this situation... there will be consequences that you will have to live with. Remember that hurting oneself and others (even unborn children) in any way is ethically wrong... and abortion is usually most likely considered wrong by God. Do you really want to abort another child? Try not to feel bad for making the mistake of sleeping with your ex... and getting pregnant again. We all make mistakes and we are all sinners. We have no right to judge you in this situation. No one can really understand what your going through unless they were the ones who lived through what your living through. Try to do what is right for both you and the baby. I am wondering if God really wants you to have a baby since you keep getting pregnant. I believe God may be trying to help both you and your ex spiritually with this baby. I think you would be making a serious mistake if you proceed with abortion. Get your ex to help you pay for your schooling, baby, your daughter, and your other financial needs. Good luck!

Answer 8

I like how you put the blame on him. Like ... "financially we couldn't afford it. Or so he said." (Ya'll were MARRIED, how could you NOT know?) Also, I LOVE this ... "I told him I was getting off the pill and he said okay, he would use condoms. He didn't." Um ... Honey! It's YOUR B O D Y. How in the HELL can you tell me "HE" didn't. You obviously weren't that worried about it, or you would have MADE him. That was your choice to let him do what he pleased. Good god, don't EVER beg a man for ANYthing (except your life, if applicable), ESPECIALLY begging him to use protection. Tell him to **** off and he's not getting ANY if he doesn't abide by YOUR rules/limitations concerning YOUR body. You made your own bed, here.

However, I know how it feels to take a child's life away and be regretful afterwards. If you feel you can handle it yourself, go for it! Hit his *** up for child support. Consider adoption, it's a great alternative. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 9

I'm sorry for your previous loss and hope you don't make the same mistake again. Obviously, you regret having the first abortion. The unborn child shouldn't be punished for you and your estranged husband not using protection.

In the future, insist on condoms or some other form of birth control before having sex. No condoms = no sex = no unwanted pregnancies.

Have you considered putting the baby up for adoption or raising it yourself?

Answer 10

You poor thing. I think this is one of those issues where only you can make the decision about what to do. Its easy for people to sit in judgement about the rights and wrongs of abortion, and using birth control etc. If you decide to terminate the pregnancy you have to be prepared to live with the decision, if you decide to continue the pregnancy do it because you want to have the baby, can support, love and care for it and do all this alone. I think your husband has made his position in all this more than clear and I think its obvious you cant count on him for any support whichever may you go. I wish you all the best of luck. And I hope you got some supportive family./friends to help you through this whatever you decide