okay, i have been going out with this girl for a lil over a month now and about a week into our relationship she told me she still had feelings for her ex (who she went out with for 1yr till he cheated on her). They been apart for 4 months and now that she got a BF he wants her back. I told her straight up that she has to be ready to move on and we could just be friends till she is 100% ready. A couple days after she said she was going to make our relationship work and she was ready. 3 awesome weeks went by and today she asked me "why are u with me, Im not worth it"..because shes all confused again cause she talked to her ex today on msn. She says she cant block him because she finds herself adding him back. But then again her IM name is always something really sweet about me, n the people at her work keep telling me that she whines at work because she just wants to see me. She said today that every1 is telling her that her ex is changed. What should I do? I really want to be wit her.
2006-12-26 08:54:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
let her go, if you want to be with her let her go. I know it sounds silly but you have to sit her down and tell her that you can't be with her unless she is ready to give her ex up. Obviously she moved on too soon and its really not fair to you. why be with her if she has feelings for someone else why put yourself through the pain. if she wants to be with you you and her will work if out, if she's quick to say okay maybe we should be friends you have your answer. good luck
2006-12-26 08:58:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man this sucks. The problem here is not you and not the other guy. The problem is your gf because she is not able to make a firm decision. I think U should just let her know that in order to think about her 100% and in order to give this relationship your all U have to know that she loves U n only U.
otherwise its really not worth it. Also that U really want to be with her.N u wish this works out.
Tell her that Now the choice is hersand she should let you know.
I know this surely must hurt.But things have to be sorted out b4 U can continue any further.
All the best.
2006-12-26 09:02:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a real whiner and probably didn't get enough time to get over the ex making it easier for him to manipulate her. Back off a bit, I know you really like her, and let her know straight up what your feelings are how the ex is controlling her. If she really wants to be with you, she needs to either not talk to him for a while or develope some clear cut bounderies that say "I'm done" to the ex. Don't give her any ultimatums, that will just make things worse. Make sure your own bounderies are there and let her know whats what.
2006-12-26 09:03:19 · answer #3 · answered by RoadRunner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh... this is not too bad... you can remind her that why she broke up with her "ex-" (which is cheating) and "how could you change a person over a few months?" Ask what's the most important thing for her in the relationship (which mostly is happiness and happy make her feel good and secure), then ask her whether she's happy with you and also ask yourself the same question... What's the most important to you in a relationship...?
2006-12-26 08:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Jo Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking that you should move on, because obviously she is not worth it. Besides if she is gonna do this to you now, all it will take is someone else coming along, and she will do it again.
2006-12-26 08:59:40 · answer #5 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are allowing yourself to be used. Regardless of whether she gets back with her ex or not, she needs time to figure it out. And she won't or have really hard time of it, if you continue to lick her wounds. You can only control your own actions. Leave her. Time will heal your own wounds. Don't enable her to be wishy washy.
2006-12-26 09:00:19 · answer #6 · answered by ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. . .first, don't allow yourself to be manipulated by her. . .no matter how much you care for her.
She needs to be honest with you and tell you how she is feeling, but if her ex cheated on her and is stringing her along. . .he's not respecting her in any way and she is foolish to continue contact with him and letting him affect her. She should drop him and avoid him.
Point out to her that if he cared for her. . .he would leave her alone to be happy. . .he wouldn't be playing games with her.
Best of luck to you!
2006-12-26 08:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by YuckItUp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get her to tell him its over and she has to do it. Then all contact with him must stop. He's the past you are the present and possibly future.
2006-12-26 09:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by BamaJJP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am thinking a triple play!!!
2006-12-26 08:56:13 · answer #9 · answered by ballman4425 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her ex is supposed to be your hommie you gutless jew
2006-12-26 08:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋