I am horribly and intensely afraid of flying. Best ways of coping?

Question

It's not that I fear dying on a plane. I do know that it's very safe to travel by plane. Safer than all other forms of travel.

However when I get on a plane, my heart races, my palms sweat and I get very scared. More so than I could possibly explain to anyone. I feel like I'm constantly falling and sometimes, if the weather is very bad, I even privately cry.

It's horrible to have this fear but I know I'm not alone. I can't take my normal sedative (used only when I fly) because I'm four months pregnant.

But I'm hoping in the next month, I will find some really excellent ways of getting through the flight and calming myself.

I'm really hoping for good answers from others with the same fear who've found ways that have really worked for them.

Thanks!

Answer 1

This is a hard situation - I'm sorry. I am also terrified of flying and understand what this is like. Some of the things I've tried apart from sedatives:

1. Listen to headphones with my favorite music really loud - helps to drown out all the noise that I am listening for (engines whining, whatever!) and gets me to concentrate on something other than the plane

2. Some people prefer to look out the window (I don't) but since you feel like you're falling, perhaps this isn't a great idea. I always get an aisle seat, preferably in an emergency row so that I don't feel claustrophobic, and sometimes stare at a stop on the floor in the aisle. This makes me feel like I am just in a room somewhere, and not on a plane in the air. It also keeps me from looking out the window, which I hate.

3. If you are listening to music, another thing you might try is to actually dance along (in your seat!). I don't mean full-on break dancing, but something to loosen your body up. I am really tense on planes and tend to sit very rigid, without moving at all. This actually only worsens any movement the plane makes, and then makes me even more scared. It's better to move around a little bit, then you don't feel the plane moving as much. I do this mainly if it gets turbulent. People will see your headphones and just think you're enjoying the music! :)
4. Get lots of magazines with big flashy pictures - not The Economist, but US or InStyle or People. The pictures can distract you much better than the articles and you won't have to expend energy on actually trying to read!

5. If you tend to have bad thoughts on the plane that continue and get worse (i.e., "what's the movement, what's that noise, we must be falling, there must be a fire, the wing must have fallen off, we are going to die), try wearing a thick rubber band on your wrist and snapping it as hard as you need to to stop the thought process. The second of pain will do wonders to get you to stop thinking such bad and pointless thoughts.

6. If you do feel like you're falling, have you talked to your doctor about vertigo? Maybe this is a medical condition that s/he can give you something for that is safe during your pregnancy, since the usual sedatives aren't.

7. Something I try to do more often on flights is actually walking once the seat belt sign is off. You can't really feel the turbulence as much if you are walking, and it helps you to feel a bit more normal, as if you are just in a room somewhere. This isn't always feasible with new safety regulations, but still.

8. If you have a nice person sitting next to you, it helps to strike up a random conversation, even a short one. It gets your mind off the flight, and oftentimes, your neighbor might be sympathetic to your fears.

9. Try to pass the time by doing things that you know you need to - making lists of what you need to do once at your destination, planning meals, writing in a diary, etc. Get a drink and peanuts and settle in as if you are just working in your office or at home, with a snack.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

I have the same problem. Even screamed and cried a few times. I try to get a window seat and enjoy the view - try to guess what all the little towns below are, and tell myself over and over that statistically air travel is the safest way to travel. If the view bothers you, find another distraction. Talk to somebody or bring a good book or a rubix cube, anything to distract your brain. Sometimes, during bad turbulence, I get so scared I just fall asleep. Maybe less sleep before the flight could help you.

Answer 3

awe, *hugs*. We have all been there. How old are you? It doesn't matter what your age is really, I'm just curious. Anyway, If he said he doesn't like you back, he probably meant it. :( I am sorry, unrequited feelings are the worst! But don't be depressed! You two just aren't right for each other. I know you have already been told things like "there are plenty of fish in the sea", but it is VERY true. Unfortunately, you cant MAKE someone feel a certain way. Only time can mend your heart, but one day you won't even remember why you liked him in the first place! In the meantime, get together with your gal pals or watch a movie with your mom, sister, or someone who will listen to you. It helps to just vent sometimes and try to enjoy the time with the people who LOVE YOU! If you want to be alone, you can read or even write your thoughts in a journal. This is a great way to come to terms with things that make you sad. I hope this helps girlie :)

Answer 4

How often do you need to fly? If it's frequently see you doctor and ask about getting an anti-anxiety medication. They can greatly reduce the symptoms and make you much more comfortable. But only take them when you need them. Many of them, when taken daily for long periods, can become addictive.

Answer 5

Since you are pregnant, I would suggest an alternate method of travel. I know this sounds like a smartas* answer, but seriously... the stress that you feel will affect your baby. Your hormones get crazy, adrenaline rushes etc. Why go through all that?
I truly don't know of any way to help you get over this, since you know your fear is illogical--- except meditation has helped me a great deal with my fears.
Psycho-therapy might help you get to the root of your phobia--- but in one month's time? Doubtful.
I just wouldn't subject my unborn baby and myself to this stress.

Answer 6

Have you checked with your doctor to see if there is anything you can take?? The only other thing I can suggest is to possibly see a hypnotist before your flight to see if they can help ease your phobia a little bit.

Answer 7

Well. what works for me is to talk to someone even though that is incredibly hard because my family falls asleep all the time on planes and i become terrified! but if that not your case talk to someone

Answer 8

if your religious you can pray to god (or whatever god you worship) or put a blind fold on when your all situated