He says that he loves me, and I believe him. I love him very much also. He isn't pressuring me about having sex, but he is beginning to ask more and more. And I dont want seem like I'm scared or anything, but I am. I know that I wont lose him over this, but the main problem is that I really want 2, I'm just afraid of the results.
2006-12-26 08:47:19 · 47 answers · asked by Bow'sBoo aka_SassyKeema 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just say no. If that's not enough then he is not enough.
2006-12-26 08:49:47 · answer #1 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm a 24 year old male, and I know that if you have to ask, you're not ready. You're 16 and I know peer pressure can be intimidating sometimes, but when you're not ready, you're just not ready and there's no need to rush into something just because he continues to ask him. If he REALLY loves you, he'll wait for you. Though, in society today, seven months is seemingly a long time to be with someone, it doesn't mean you'll be ready for everything that a relationship entails.
Sex is between two people. And it should be done when both parties are ready, not just one person.
Just know you are in control of your life and where you want to go. Some consequences of having sex with any guy are (1) the possibility of getting pregnant and (2) contracting a STD (sexually transmitted disease) in addition to other stuff. If you do decide to have sex, use protection, such as birth control pills and make sure you put the condom on him.
Just a word of caution: Having sex with him (or any guy) does not mean he'll love you more (or at all) and there is NO guarantee he'll even be with you the next day after sex. I'm not saying he's this kind of guy, but many guys pretend to love you and say they love you until you have sex with them, and then they leave you and say he doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore and move on to another girl. I just want to remind you of this.
You're smart and capable of making good decisions for yourself, so I know you'll do the right thing. If you're not ready, you're just not ready. And there is nothing wrong with waiting.
2006-12-26 09:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by Sean B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR body and you shouldn't have sex until you're ready. Don't let him pressure you. If he's asking you about it all the time then that is a form of pressure because it's obviously bothering you. If he really loves you and cares about you then he will respect your decision to wait and not bring it up again until you do. But you need to communicate the fact that you are just not ready. If you have sex before you're ready, you can be cheating yourself out of an amazing experience and you'll have nothing but regret leftover. That sucks. And also, you are not ready to have sex if you have not discussed STD's and birth control. There's nothing funny about having a baby when you're 16. It's just too young. Be stong and be confident. If sex scares you, you need to wait and tell your boyfriend to chill.
2006-12-26 08:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by spyhopper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're afraid of results then you're not really ready. Don't do it especially because you dont' want to seem scared. Just let him know you're not ready and when you are you'll let him know, so that he can stop asking you because whether you believe or not him continuing to ask is putting pressure on you. You're only 16, you shouldnt be having sex anyway, but if you decide to, make sure you use protection.
2006-12-26 08:56:07 · answer #4 · answered by Miss E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it if you're not ready. And I'm not just saying that for moral reasons. You should never do anything unless you're sure you can live with the results.
If he can't respect your decision, then you need to cut your ties with this person. There's nothing wrong with you choosing what is right for you. You're a human being and as such you're entitled to make your own choices.
PS: If you choose to turn him down, don't be ambiguous about it. Sending mixed signals could be a bad thing for both of you, so if you choose to say no, tell him no straightforwardly and firmly. Tell him that you're not ready, that you don't know when you'll be ready and that pressuring you is more likely to end your relationship than it is to get any sex.
2006-12-26 08:52:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem like an intelligent, & thoughtful young woman. That is why you are scared at the thought of having sex when you aren't ready, because you personally aren't ready.
Of course you have sexual urges, but giving thought to the possible consequences is a very intelligent, & self caring thing to do.
You say he isn't pressuring you, but what do you call asking you over & over again when you have already said no to the point where it is causing you anxiety? I myself would call that being pressured.
I don't want to come across as an advocate for or against having pre-marital sex. What I am in favour of is allowing people to make their own choices, & then respecting the choices that people make.
You obviously choose to wait before having sex, & I (a total stranger) respect you for your convictions.
Your boyfriend however is showing absolutely no respect for you, & is obviously only looking after his own interests here.
You don't choose to have a boyfriend so you can have anxiety, & drama in your life. You choose to have a boyfriend so that his being in your life can bring you joy & comfort, & caring.
When your boyfriend fails to do that, wouldn't it make sense that your life would then be better off without him. Then you could spend your time in pursuit of a boy who does fullfill your needs as much as you do his.
Tell you boyfriend he is making you miserable with his constant demands for sex, & that he needs to back off if he wants to stay your boyfriend.
Your still 16, so date, have fun, & enjoy your youth. You don't need to volunteer for anxiety & drama.
Cheers!
2006-12-26 09:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are really ready to have sex, then make sure you use birth control. I think you need parental consent to start using birth control pills, etc...but check with Planned Parenthood. Make sure you use condoms too to protect yourself from STDs.
You don't say how old your boyfriend is, so that's something to consider too. Is he older than you? More experienced? Some may say that he is just saying he loves you, so you will have sex with him. But no one knows for sure.
If you really aren't ready emotionally, then don't have sex. I had sex when I was young and now that I'm older I wish I would have waited. Just really think about it before you do it. You don't want to have any regrets.
2006-12-26 08:55:41 · answer #7 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say either wait a while longer until you feel better about it or make sure that you use protection. I have noticed more and more younger females getting pregnant. You have no idea of all the things that come along with having a child especially being as young as you are. Talk to your b/f about your feelings on it and if he really loves you then he'll understand. Hope that this helped. Take care and good luck.
2006-12-26 08:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgapeach71301 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are scared then you are not ready. If you bf really loves you as you said then he should be understanding and not put pressure on you. You are too young to be sleeping with a guy you barley know for 7 months. I think you should wait when you are ready . Guys are always horny and all the think about is sex.
2006-12-26 08:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by julia1975 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
JUST SAY NO!!! Only you can decide when you are ready and it doesn't sound like you are.
One question. Are you ready to be a mother?
If not, don't have sex. Don't believe his lies. No birth control is 100%. Condoms break. Accidents happen. The only safe sex is no sex.
You have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't grow up to fast. I speak from experience. I wish I had waited. Don't live with regrets like I do over a dumb decision you made as a kid.
2006-12-26 08:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by BooBoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the rush? I am 40 and I wish that I had waited until I was married. People are always afraid of the unknown. I hope you are well informed of your options for protection for you and for him. I teach my daughter one form of protection is never enough. Is this young man worth your most valuable assets, your heart ,your love and your virginity. Is he still going to respect you after the act. 7 months is not enough time to see the real him. Do you have a big sister, your aunt, at best, your mom to talk to? Set your standards high and look at the positives and the negatives and then decided.
2006-12-26 09:03:16 · answer #11 · answered by researcher 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋