Should I take the apartment?

Question

I've an Egyptian boyfriend (this might be intercul.misunderstanding).
I've to move out of my old flat and found the perfect flat two months ago but with a high provision and in the same building where he lives.So I forgot about the flat but couldn't find another good one.Now they lowered the provision for the flat and I asked him if it'd be ok if I looked at the flat.He said 'ok' so I saw the flat I love it.To make sure I asked him again about me moving in the same building and he said I should only take the apartment if I like it and NOT because he is living there and that he doesn't think he would have time during the week to meet more often (since we're together we spent every weekend together but he always asked me).
So, now I'm hurt and angry that he is so arrogant to think that I tried to find a flat to live close to him.But now he sent me an sms saying he is looking forward to going out together from 'our' apartment.
Should I move in? What does he really want?What shall I do?

Answer 1

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

1) You found a place you like
2) It happens to be in the same buiding as your current b/f
3) He doesn't have an issue if you move into it
4) He wants you to be happy in it and not to move in strictly because of him.
5) He texts you afterwards to let you know he really is looking forward to you being closer.

I don't think this is a cultural misunderstanding at all. I think it's a male/female misunderstanding. It's a gender reference issue.

From the male point of view, here's what I heard him say:

I am happy that you found a place you like.
I want to be sure you really like it. I don't want something to happen to our relationship and you be very upset because you moved in here partly or mostly because I was here, too.
I think it'll be really cool that we're this close and don't have to travel far to see and hang out with each other.

Answer 2

I think your boyfriend is right. There is a difference between moving in together and sharing one apartment, and just moving into an apartment building that he lives in because you like the apartment.

You should move in to the apartment if YOU like the apartment.

There are two things you should consider and ask yourself:

1) If this is my boyfriend and I will be closer to him, will moving into the apartment bring us closer together or push us apart?

If you are going out with him, I assume it is because you like him, and that you are trying to get a relationship going that could become permanent. I assume (again) that he feels the same way.

If you both feel this way, then living closer together can only help this relationship. You can drop by each other's apartments for mid-week dinners if one of you has time and the other had a rough day. You can see each other in the building or courtyard. You can borrow a "cup of sugar" or house-sit or collect the mail for the other when they are out of town and do not have to travel all over the city to get this done.

However, if you are in a relationship without plans of commitment, he or you may feel your space is being invaded or encroached upon.

From the sound of things, it seems like he is just trying to give you an honest opinion, but you may want to sit down and discuss your mutual goals.

The other issue:

2) If I break up with my boyfriend, will living in the same apartment complex become awkward or a problem in the future?

If you see him in the hall after you break up and either you or he is with another person, will that become a problem? Are either of you the jealous type and may cause problems for the other in the apartment if things sour?

Make sure (like your boyfriend said) that you are moving in for the apartment and not mainly for ulterior motives.

Answer 3

Decide what you want to do based on what is good for you right now, this guy is your boyfriend and has no obligation to you at the moment (not like a husband) if you want the apartment because you like it, then take it.
He may decide to move out in a month so make you want to move because you want the apartment, not because you want to be closer to him.

Answer 4

it looks lik he wants u to move in. but u want to move in cause ur bf is living there dont u?

Answer 5

find a new apartment,and a new boyfriend.

Answer 6

yes move in !