Ok, this guy in one of my classes asked me to study with him one day. I couldn't think of a good excuse at the time, so I said ok and gave him my number. Well, I was surprised when he called that very night. I said thanks anyway, but I really didn't need help in this particular class. He said ok. The next day, he calls me again. I'm annoyed. He said that he actually wanted to ask me out and wanted to get to know me. I said I had a lot on my plate and had no interest in dating. A month later, he stops me outside class and asks me out again. I say no, that I have a lot of schoolwork. By now I'm annoyed that I gave him my number, but relieved because I think he got the point. Lo and behold, I have a message from him today wishing me a merry christmas, which is nice, but I don't want him calling me. It just seems very forward and intrusive. I thought I made it clear, I have no interest in even having a friendship with him. Why won't he stop and what can I do? I'm a lil weirded out. TY
2006-12-26 08:41:48 · 24 answers · asked by Blackadder 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think it's fair of some of you to say that I'm overreacting. I didn't mention the fact that he always stares at me in school or that he's waited outside of class to attack me as soon as I leave. I want him to get the point. There's nothing snobby about not wanting to know someone. I don't like him and I have no interest in him. Period.
2006-12-26 08:51:49 · update #1
Tag his number and ignore him when he calls...or change you number....or just tell him ...I don't like you like that and quit calling me.Remember you started it by giving him your number....you have to start having better judgment of who you give your number to...always think of what may happen down the road.
2006-12-26 08:48:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the most important rule for prevention of stalkers (yes, he can qualify as a stalker in training): if it takes him 20 phone calls before you pick up he will know that the price of hearing your voice is 20 phone calls. Ignore him no matter what he does, if he comes face to face avoid him and dismiss him like he's not there. If you can, block his number or change his name into "Don't answer" so that you never accidentally pick up. If at all possible (I know people don't like to do this), change your phone number and cut him off for good. No matter how nice he'll seem, never take gifts from him and never talk to him. It may take a while, but cut him off for good. Playing around with his mind by talking to him and being nice and then not being nice is sending mixed signals, be firm and final about your contact with him.
2006-12-26 16:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
All he seems to have done is called you twice in 2 days over a month ago...asked you out twice over a month apart, and wished you a merry christmas.
What crime has he commited? This doesn't sound like stalking or anything.
And by the way, you come off as a snob when you say things like "I have no interest in even having a friendship with him".
2006-12-26 16:45:41 · answer #3 · answered by Mattvayne 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Guys can be dense. He may view your niceness or politeness as tacit permission for a future date.
The reason you provided was school. When school isnt in the picture, in his mind, there is no reason not to.
You should tell him that you were annoyed that he did not listen to you when you were polite, that even if there was no school his pushy-ness is something really ugly to you and if you could you wouldnt want to go out with him, and tell him to do not call you again and that you dont want him communicating with you.
Be up-front and blunt. Thats how guys talk to each other, its how they think, and especially when they are thinking with their hormones, its the only thing that gets through to them.
2006-12-26 16:49:45 · answer #4 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call him back and tell him to stop bothering you and that you feel he's being intrusive, if you have to. You should explain it as you have here, that you really couldn't think of anything to say the first time and didn't feel right about it. Be strong from this point forward.
Stop resenting your previous failure, but learn from it and resolve to be strong the next time and not give in to pressure.
Change your number also, if you can.
2006-12-26 16:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by Joseph C 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are making a huge deal out of nothing. He wanted to get to know you, maybe date you if he had the chance. You should be happy that you have people who like you. Some people wish they had one chance with any guy. He called you like what, three times?
2006-12-26 17:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by cutiedudie2002 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless you led him on at some point, he should give up eventually. If not tell him how you feel. If he is nice to you you should be nice back . If he is a real pain + won`t listen to you, there are NO RULES. Do whatever you have to to get rid of him (ex: move + change your #)
2006-12-26 16:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by grtoo9 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe u should tell him at school." Look, i dont want to be rude but i have no interest in being friends with u or more than friends for that matter so can u plz just stop calling me and bothering me."
2006-12-26 16:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by dream21 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a friend that acts like this. He is a very nice guy, but a little overboard.
Next time he calls or approaches you, lay out it very specifically and straight forward, such as "Bill, I am not interested in a relationship right now. Please stop contacting me."
Hopefully he will hear that.
2006-12-26 16:46:23 · answer #9 · answered by txrealestateagent 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, just be friendly, don't make him kill himself, he is very clearly infatuated, you've told him your not interested, he knows this and all he said was merry Christmas, just don't give him any reason to believe he should continue to pursue you. You should be happy people care about you, as long as he doesn't cross any lines you should be fine :)
2006-12-26 16:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by Eric G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋