Confidence?

Question

My youngest children are starting full time nursery school in September they are the last of my children to start school, in some ways I am looking forward to it to have some time to myself, and to be able to do things I couldnt normally do having the twins with me, but part of me is dreading it as i know i'm going to miss them so much. From I was 17 years old till now I have had my children around me and its going to be so weird having time on my hands, i'd like to go to college and gain some qualifications and look for a job but having never worked (my partner has always provided for me financilally) I feel like my social confidence has been lost somewhere down the road, life for me has always centered around looking after my children and the prospect of getting out into the world meeting new people and new experiences terrifies me as I suffer from bad anxiety especially when put into an unfamiliar situation has anyone been in this position and what did you do about it?

Answer 1

Hi Natalie,
Well,at least you're looking for a way out of your situation by asking on this site. Well done! That's a confidence booster for a start.
Check with local employment consultants/advisors on training courses that may interest you.
As to improving your social confidence,how about getting some part time voluntary work in a local charity shop?
A great way of getting used to interacting with complete strangers,plus learning some basic work retail skills,without the pressure of worrying about loss of income if it doesn't work out,since you'll be doing it for nothing.
Check out any local groups that share your interests- they'll make you feel welcome and expand your social circle.
Congratulations on taking time out from the working world to bring up the kids- you will have benefitted them with your undivided attention more than you know.
You will reap the rewards.
Good luck,and Happy New year to the new you!
Misterviv x

Answer 2

My children are 2 & 1. I've started preparing myself for when they start nursery. I signed up for a course at college so hopefully by the time the twins start nursery I'll be a qualified book keeper so I can look for a job! Since having my eldest my confidence has also plummeted so I really had to make myself sign up for this course. Now I'm really looking forward to a new chapter in my life. Of course you will miss your children as they have been all you've known for however long it's been but it will get easier.

You need to think about what you would like to do with all your spare time, would you like a career or would just any job do for you? If it's the latter then all you have to do is prepare yourself. If you want a proper career you need to get down to your local college & look into their courses & if any interest you sign up there & then! I'm so glad I did, I've even signed up for another one which starts in January, I really look forward to it!

You won't recognise yourself once you overcome the anxiety! Good luck

Answer 3

I think that's a pretty normal reaction. You could ease your way into something gently - look for social contact more than big career moves first. A part time job in an unskilled area might suit you- it might be difficult to commit to anything more for a year or two yet - you have to remember holidays, sicknesses, etc might interfere with your ability to be available for too much.

Your confidence should build up quite quickly, but you NEED to get some qualifications and something to make you marketable in the medium term.

Good luck! The world is your oyster!

Answer 4

I've got two kids I had my first at 17, the youngest started school last year and I'm in college this year. I havent worked since 1995 and I've been a stay at home mum since

I found myself in a similar position to you re confidence and meeting new people, I did an evening class last year as a way of easing myself into it slowly and I'm now full time, I'm loving it, and planning to go to university next year

if you've been at home raising kids, you've got loads of skills, you just need to work that out for yourself, I'd advise you to just go for it.

Answer 5

There are loads of people out there with chldren so you have always got loads in the same position as you, remember you have always got the kids to talk about, you will feel lost to start but hey not for long, it won't be long and you will think god this is great. look at the fun you can have enrol in that collage I must congratulate you on giving all your time to your children now is the time for you. good luck

Answer 6

Read Paul McKenna Instant Confidence. It is strange how your mind can be re-trained to giving you the boost you need........

p[lus, you should feel proud that you have ambition......hold your head high and show them (whoever fears you) that not all young Mums lack the drive (as some say)

I was a young Mum and now a trainee teacher. Go for it.

Answer 7

Well you could do what I did.

I got the prospectus from my local Adult Education Centre and started doing an evening course, Introduction to Counselling. Evening courses are great because you'll find lots of people like yourself there, mums going back to work, retired people, lots of people trying to learn something new.

I'm now doing the Diploma and am almost a fully qualified counsellor.

You'll find Adult Education Centres do lots of different courses, I'm sure you'll find something to interest you. Your local council will have details of where to find your local centre.

Answer 8

wel i hav nt but my auntie has it took her a long time to go to college n when she first start she didnt really like it and after a month she enjoyed it meetin new friends n naw she a diffent person n my auntie has had 9 chidren and she had her first one when she was 15 so go for itn girl get out dontlt nothin put u down u only live onces

Answer 9

There is nothing else but diving in at the deep end and I do know what you are exactly asking but very few of us get to have a mentor by our side throughout life

Answer 10

HI, I HAVE BAD ANXIETY AND WHEN I GO SOME WHERE PEOPLE GET TO CLOSE TO ME MY ANXIETY GETS REALLY BAD. JUST PUT IT THESE WAY ALOT OF THINGS GET MY ANXIETY GOING. SO WHAT I DO I JUST GET MY SELF AWAY FROM WHO OUR WHAT IS GIVING ME THE ANXIETY AND GO TO A NEW PLACE. AS FOR PUTTING YOUR TWINS IN SCHOOL THAT IS A GOOD THING KIND NEED THAT. YOU NEED TIME TO YOUR SELF. IF YOU CAN MAKE TIME TO GO TO COLLAGE GO FOR IT. YOU YOUNG AND YOU CAN DO ANY THING YOU WANT. I HOPE THAT I HELP YOU.