I got engaged in September, when we first got engaged, we hadnt set a date. However, we did like a month later. When we went around telling his family, they didnt seem happy, heck, even his mother asked when it was, and I responded "we havent set a date yet" and she said..."what are you waiting to see if it works out?" I almost died!! Well, since then we have set a date, (in May of 2007) and we have been to several family get togethers and they havent asked me a thing about it. There are 3 sisters. And the mother. Am I wrong wondering why they havent even asked the date, where it is, or who is in it, what colors, if i needed help, I mean they have asked me NOTHING. My fiance and I are almost 40 years old, we are not kids and this really hurts my feelings. They ask me about my job, my son and everything else personal, but never about the wedding. What do I do? Say something, just bring it up on my own? Or ignore it? Help
2006-12-26 08:17:04 · 13 answers · asked by catriona532 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What does your finace say? He should be the one communicating with his family. He must have some idea of what's going on. Let him speak to his family and allow him to answer any questions they might have now.
2006-12-26 08:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could send out a nice little engagement announcement. You could even make them yourself on the computer. In it you could tell the date of the wedding, the colors you are choosing, the places where you will be registering and the location of the event. Just ask them to kindly mark the date on their calendars. Those who want to help will offer. Because you are not young, they may be assuming that you have everything under control. That's a compliment. So don't be over sensitive. If you want help, learn to ask for it. Approach those who are capable of helping and ask them if they would be willing to help with.... decorating... or planning a shower... or whatever. Remember they are just getting to know you. This takes time. Perhaps he has been engaged before and it did not work out...and they are anticipating it happening again... not that it will. But they are perhaps saving themselves from getting too excited about what might or might not come to pass. Don't be too hard on them. You be the confident one and win them over... Show them you are good for Him... and that you are going to be a good mate. God bless you and don't focus too much on the grumpy relatives... but on the man you love instead!
2006-12-26 08:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by rejoiceinthelord 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They have asked and at that point you said you haven't set a date. they might not want to feel as if they are pressuring you and if you have in fact set a date send save the date cards that way they know an can plan for the wedding also take the sisters an his mom on trips to buy wedding things .. it will help brake any ice that needs to be broken
2006-12-26 08:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am almost 30 so I am little older of a bride myself. I actually brought it up with my mother-inlaw and she actually had NO clue that she was suppose to match or corridnate with the wedding party which I thought was crazy because she has children who were married!! And had large weddings. I think every family is different.... His family really hasn't ask me anything either and it's not the fact they don't like me. I don't know what it is... I think they think it's a waste of money..... I would start to bring up stuff with them and see how it goes from there..... maybe they will get more into it if you talk about it more... like you are sharing it with them.
2006-12-26 08:24:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 00:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by kigar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mother already brought it up and by not having a date set, they may think you don't want to talk about it. They're probably waiting for you to let them know that you've set a date and then I'm guessing you'll have to ask them for help instead of them volunteering. I wouldn't take it personally. In fact I would say they're trying to be respectful and not hound you with questions.
2006-12-26 09:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by married2004 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mention it as often as you can to gauge their reactions. When they ask about your son, say how excited he is about the wedding and what part he'll be in (if hes walking you down the aisle, ring bearer, mini groom, whatever), when they ask about work say how busy you are preparing for the wedding and honeymoon. See what their reactions are then, if they seem agitated or excited or what.
Congratulations on your wedding though, I hope it's everything you imagined and more!
2006-12-26 08:22:34 · answer #7 · answered by Kallie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you "announce" that you set a date for the wedding? That is your job, (the 2 of you, together). They are probably not asking so as not to offend you.
2006-12-26 14:28:42 · answer #8 · answered by ee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they don't want to be involved in wedding plans, good for you. No buttinskis telling you what to do or whom to invite.
Perhaps they aren't as involved because you and FH are a bit older and already settled in your lives and presumably finanacially able to do your own wedding.
Send them the invitations along with everybody else and go about your merry way.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and may it be a long and happy one.
2006-12-26 08:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. All I can do is hope that as it gets closer to the wedding they are a a little more supportive. I personally am not going to hold my breath.
2006-12-26 08:20:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋