We're getting married this coming New Year's Eve. She says she will give us 300.00 to help out with the food costs. And now she says she can't help us because she dosent have the money. What makes me more upset is that she has invited 12 people from her job to the wedding. I don't even know who these people are. Would it be wrong for me to say not to invite them now?
2006-12-26 08:03:26 · 23 answers · asked by Dana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hell, no. She backed out on her side of the deal, tell her you can't afford to entertain her so-called friends. You have no obligation to her, she's the one that let you two down.
2006-12-26 08:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
WOW...that's cutting it close. Less then a week to go before the wedding. The only thing I can suggest is see if someone can lend you the $300 - that is if you were counting on it to pay for some of the wedding. You don't want to be caught with not enough money to pay for the wedding. To un-invite guests that have already been invited will look very tacky on your part. It's not like it's their fault your future husbands mother didn't hold up to her promise. Try not to stress out about it. It's only $300. Have a good time and don't let anything bother you. It's your day...you have waited you whole life for this and have spent a lot of money on it. So...take a deep breath and relax and enjoy. Maybe future mother in law will come through. But don't let it get you all worked up and ruin any relationship you have with her. Trust me on this one...money is the root of all evil and money can't buy love. So once again...don't worry about it and enjoy your day. Good luck and congratulations!
2006-12-26 09:06:15 · answer #2 · answered by Michele K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your day... but it is also the beginning of a long relationship with your new 'mom'. Tread with caution. If she does not have the money now to help with the wedding, perhaps she can come up with it later. Work out a deal with her, both you and your fiance...together! Your guests should be friends and families of both sides. If her friends from work are also friends of the groom, it is acceptable to invite them. If they are only friends of his mother... it's a little tacky. Plan what you can afford. Don't go overboard.....and go into debt. It's not worth it in the long run. Be financially responsible even if others want to push you to excess. Be firm, but polite. If possible, give a good excuse for not inviting guests. Try not to offend. Since the wedding is only a week away... not too likely you can change things now. Live with it and forget it and forgive. Start this marriage with a healthy attitude, not hard feelings.
2006-12-26 08:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by rejoiceinthelord 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would personally eat the $300 rather than making waves with my new mother-in-law. These relationships can be strained anyway, I wouldn't want to make it worse. Because it is so close to the wedding I would just graciously accept her guests and maybe at a future time have your husband ask his mother for the money. $300 is not worth the broken relationship, especially just starting out in the relationship. Relatives (especially parents) do strange things around wedding time. She may feel bad about "losing" her son.....You should go to great lengths to see that she is "gaining" a daughter.
2006-12-26 08:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not wrong, but maybe a bit late. If the invitations have gone out and they've accepted you can't uninvite them now.
Where's FH in this situation? It should be his responsibility to confront his mom, not you. She may not have the money now, but has she indicated she'll give it to you later?
I'd hold her to whatever it costs for her 12 friends to come, seeing as she insisted that they be invited. It might not be the full 300, but at least you won't have to pay for them.
2006-12-26 08:08:18 · answer #5 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well this kinda happened to my sister at her wedding but her in laws said they were going to give her 500.00 to go towards food and they said all they were going to invite was 20 people they ended up telling her it was 50 2 weeks before the wedding and told my sister she was not able to give her the 500.00 well my quick Witt sister ended up calling to venue an asked to have a security guard with a list of people she was going to have attend an tell unwanted guests they could exit along with the in laws she has had a very nice life 15 years latter
2006-12-26 08:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is not required to help financially at all - in today's culture, it is the bride and groom's responsibility and the parents are welcome to help if they can.
That being said - the person footing the bill has final say on the guest list - so you are not required to invite anyone you don't want to:) Of course, if formal invitations have already been sent out it would be considered VERY rude to retract them - but if they haven't ogne out yet, then you can make adjustments to the guest list.
2006-12-26 09:30:27 · answer #7 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding, you can always do what you like. However, it is your friends and family....and the New Year is all about fresh starts. Honestly, most New Year's parties are pot-luck anyway. Make your wedding pot luck or BYOB to help defer the costs. If you are uncomfortable about announcing that, ask the people you would like to bring things on an individual basis.
2006-12-26 08:15:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'll tell you the same thing that I seem to have to tell everyone I know that is getting married....IT'S YOUR WEDDING! It's isn't your mother's, his mother's, your sister's your brother's....IT'S YOURS! You have express right to say who does and does not come to the wedding, especially if you're the one paying for it all. Don't be worried about hurting her feelings, this is your special day and you shouldn't be concerned about anything but you and your future husband.
Best wishes for health, happiness and eternal love!
2006-12-26 08:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by StayJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong of you to "uninvite" people. She should not have offerred to pay for it if she knew she could not hold up to her end of the deal.
I say, print out all of the responses you've received here and show them to her.
Good luck with the wedding!
2006-12-27 04:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by question_everything 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my! thats hard because you dont want any hard feelings between u and ure new motherin law to be-- i would try to discuss it with ure fiance first see what he says-- try to think of it as its only $300 and not $3000! i know $300 is hard to come by though esp around this time-- well hopefully she will repay you back by babysitting ur kids for u!! but since she already invited these other 12 ppl it would be very rude to uninvite them-- it would make the family look kinda bad .. but goodluck and best wishes!
2006-12-26 09:54:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋