My partner does not trust me in any way shape or form and yet i have really given her no reason to distrust me on the other hand ( and this is not a load of crap!)
She isolates me from her friends and sometimes after we argue ( which she mostly starts!) goes over to their places and stays all night....
Is she back-footing me because she is the one with something to hide?.
Thats what i often think...I know or feelthis sounds fairly lame but the old saying in my case is true "love is blind" or is she like many others insecure.
What advice or opinion can any people provide please would be greatly appreciated..
2006-12-26 07:39:19 · 49 answers · asked by Adrian 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It probably won't last long. If you are intent on staying with her, just keep doing the things that is going to show her that you can be trusted. She is going to have to learn to trust you if she wants the relationship to last.
2006-12-26 07:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by bryan c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without trust you can never have a happy relationship. Not for the one who is unable to trust or for the one who isn't trusted. It could very well be that she has something to hide because that is a common thing to do when you can't trust yourself--blame the other person. She may be insecure also but in that case she should be willing to work on it and change--if you are.
I would have a hard time dealing with this in a relationship. It really strains everything and if the relationship is new it may not be worth continusing. (If you wan to try then talk to her about getting help because if she has such fears for no reason then something is wrong.)
2006-12-26 07:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by artimis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship needs trust, communication, and attaction. It sounds like she not only has trust problems, but also is immature. The relationship isn't going to last if she doesn't learn how to trust you and grows up. My guess is she was horribly treated by an ex-boyfriend or another guy, and so now its really affected the way she deals with guys. You two can try and work it out, but unless things really change its not going to last.
2006-12-26 07:58:03 · answer #3 · answered by Flagstones925 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer for you in this situation - You must care for this girl else why would you ask for help! It is easy for others to say dump her and move on. It is much more difficult to build a relationship when there is no trust in your partner. In your case your partner has no trust in you. Have you asked her why she does not trust you? You should sit down with her and discuss it with her - she may just be insecure from a past bad relationship which has nothing to do with you but unfortunately has a bad effect on your relationship with her. Ultimately if there is no moving forward with her lack of trust in you - it would be best for you to move on and find a fullfilling relationship with another where you can enjoy love and life instead of suffering in a difficult situation.
2006-12-26 07:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by mdee81 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All details out of the way there is no relationship on this planet that can last without trust. You shouldn't need to worry about infidelity or anything else. A relationship should be secure and free of worry. Until you can achieve that I would slow things down.
2006-12-26 07:46:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to her once and only once. Tell her how you feel and what your needs and expectations are in the relationship; allow her to do the same. Then figure out if you're compatible and if you or her can change for the other. That's the tough part - deciding if you can change- and be honest with yourself. But if she continues, then there is no way she'll ever trust you.
2006-12-26 07:43:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can your relationship with your body last without oxygen. I think your partner has alot of baggage. You need to stay clear of that at all cost. It's doomed to fail and the sooner you realize that the better off you will be. Make the relational cut with a sharp knife; make the break quick with no hesitation and it will be less painful for both parties.
2006-12-26 07:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Ron P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! a relationship can never last without trust.
It also sounds like she is really hiding something from you, and even hiding you, because she dont want to be in your company when friends are around. Do not be blind she is sending you a message, and it is a very ugly one.
2006-12-26 07:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by DFlavor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've gone through this! Yes, go with your gut, it's telling you something is not right. What you are saying sounds all too familiar. The situation I was in turned out to be such a nightmare that I was very bitter towards any girl after that.
In actuality it's made me alot wiser. Watch your back man the knife is coming. open your eyes!
2006-12-26 07:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust issues in relationship usually come from an insecure partner. Many, many relationships are destroyed just because one person was insecure. And really, insecurity is all in your head. It can be a very serious issue that can destroy not only your relationship, but your work environment and friendships too. I would actively start trying to work on building up your self esteem!!
What are some ways of dealing with jealousy?
* Develop independence. We need to be sure we are not overly dependant on any one person. We need to focus on the good things we have and not on what we don't have.
* Focus on developing more confidence and attractiveness. Sometimes something simple like getting our hair done or changing our style of clothing can help. Taking a course on self esteem or assertiveness is also beneficial.
* Be honest with yourself. Sit down with paper and list things that are making you jealous. Look at it objectively. Are these things silly or trivial or are they really important?
* Communicate with the person who is the object of your jealousy. Tell them your feelings. Is that person doing something that is causing you to be jealous? Letting them know can often help the problem. If this other person cares for you, they will work on changing the behavior that is adding to your jealousy. Being aware of your feelings can also help you cope better.
Realize that jealousy shows your lack of self esteem and uncertainty of your own worth. Work on taking a really good self evaluation. This experience can be a wonderful learning opportunity for you. Work on communication with other people. Work on developing confidence.
* Study your rival. Look closely at the person you are jealous about. What do you like and dislike about the person? Are his or her qualities beyond your abilities? Be sure you are not being unrealistic about that person. Are you seeing things as they really are? Take control of your feelings. Terminate the relationship if nothing else seems to work. Take the time to concentrate on your own growth. Work at trying to understand and improve your relationship.
* Do not overreact. Remember, most incidents are temporary so don't magnify what happened. Serious jealousy stems from a fear of loss, reputation, control of ourselves, our spouses, or relationships. Losing control of our emotions and feelings will only make things worse.
2006-12-26 07:44:04 · answer #10 · answered by sarabmw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋