I feel horrible..this guy i've known for more than half my life is acting crazy.Y is it that when guys get what they want from u, they pretend like nuthing has happened, and when u try 2 talk to them about the situation, they play dumb? Especially if u have known the dude for more than half ur life, n they still treat u like crap after u finally give in2 them..do guys think that it's that funny 2 treat ppl like that? r they that scared of emotions n that immature or what? I never thought it could happen 2 me..i've seen it on tv but..i just don't understand..need help......
2006-12-26 07:14:58 · 8 answers · asked by Ms. Musically Inclined 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am 20 years old and i have never tried to hurt anybody..so i am unfamiliar with the so-called medicine that i am taking
2006-12-26 07:24:02 · update #1
A two year old child starts out pressuring both parents equally, but when they determine which is more likely to give in, pressures that parent more until they get what they want. Its built in.
You obviously valued the relationship much more than that guy did. Im sorry that you gave in, and are being treated so poorly. You dont "win" by giving in, and thats a lesson that has now cost you a very high price to learn.
Guys tend to process first with their minds, and second with their hearts. Girls tend to process first with their hearts, and second with their minds. If you are thrown a relational curve ball, you have to deal with the emotions first, then you can process through it rationally and determine your goals and methods and how to respond. Many guys can process through very tough things (think Iwo Jima, or Normandy) first with their mind setting rational goals and acting on them before having to process through them emotionally. Note: they come home with ptsd and it takes decades to process through the material, but they are not as often incapacitated right away by the emotion.
Their hearts are detached, and they dont realize whats going on inside themselves until later. You can see it when they have an affair, and are surprised by how much the affair hurts their wife. They genuinely didnt think she would respond like that because they were primarily processing with their minds, and not their hearts. Now when she is hurt, they are surprised about their emotional reaction and really wish they could go back and do things differently, but at that point its too late.
You were a piece of meat to the immature guy. You can only give yourself away the first time just once. It would have been nice if you could have waited to give yourself to someone who truly loved you, who did not think of you as meat.
Guys brains dont seriously start to congeal until after they are 22. If you were with someone younger than that.. its likely that he was a walking hormone. Until after 22 he doesnt have the capacity to regret his behavior.
2006-12-26 07:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a musician my self that has played the ladies as well I can and will tell you the truth.All of us men are self centered jerks.We will play you like a fine fiddle then toss you aside.I don't know why we are this way but I can tell you this.If a man is around as long as I have been he will regret what he has done.I hurt so many people and most of all I hurt my wife and children.It is a damn shame that we can't see the evil of our ways until it is to late.I know this isn't much of an answer but I do hope it will ease the pain a little.You have done nothing wrong.It is not your fault and you aren't the first and you won't be the last.Your friend is as big of a JERK as I'am Sorry,Good luck next time.I wish you all the best. We have a hard time trying to think above our belt's
2006-12-26 07:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by I'm Jerry 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By giving in to him I suspect you mean you had sex. Now the friendship is shot to hell. It takes lots more growing up and time to heal this problem. You were to young and so was he. Lesson learned, no sex until it is the one that you love and your at least 18 years old... if not 20.... don't rush into this sex thing. You have the rest of your life to get it right.
2006-12-26 07:20:10 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the guy is scared to say how he really feels...maybe he thought after that it would be like whatevers (the usual) but maybe he got emotionally involved and is scared of that...many guys are scared of relationships and most of all showing emotions....so just relax try and talk it out ....it maybe hard but is better than ignoring it
2006-12-26 07:19:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did not say if you are still have sex with him. IF it was a one time thing he may be as confused as you. Try getting together and talking about it but low key, dont yell and scream.
2006-12-26 07:18:09 · answer #5 · answered by onelonevoice 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You girls just don't like the taste of your own medicine
Its called maturity
2006-12-26 07:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's why you shouldn't have casual sex....duh.
2006-12-26 07:17:54 · answer #7 · answered by baby1 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Jerry!!!!!!Jerry!!!!!Jerry!!!!!
Maybe what he got was just not all that good.
2006-12-26 07:20:00 · answer #8 · answered by CuriousMishawaka 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋