then what to do? My ex bf is like this. The first 6 months i didnt love him that much and he feels insecure(he's a senior at a college where the ration of guys to girls is 7:1;he's kinda shy, dorky, not smooth at all, likes to play cool even when he cares and he's never had a gf before). but then i saw his determination and how much this means to him, i gradually loved him more and more and once he feels that he's very secure now he broke up with me. Main reason is i need a lot of attention and it can be stressful especially when he's busy. We broke up 3 times in a year but always came back b/c i chased him back. Now he broke up with me again b/c of the stress from lots of things. But deep down i know he's just confused, immature,doesnt know what he wants and wanna be single again so that he doesnt have to handle a relationship. So i wonder this time i let him be, after a month or 2 without any contact, will he wanna be back,once he realizes this time i'm determined to leave him alone?
2006-12-26 07:06:13 · 22 answers · asked by little asian gal in cresent city 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly, no offense meant, but based on your question I would say that he's not that into you that's why he keeps on breaking up with you. I man who's really into you will not hurt you, nor break up with you. He would want to be with you all the time. Breaking up so many times is a sign that the relationship will not last long term.
What you need to do at this time is to improve yourself by reading some self-improvement books to help you gain a higher self esteem. You deserve someone better who would love you the way you are.
Books that are helpful:
- Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov
- He's Just not that Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
- Don't Call that Man by Rhonda Findling
2006-12-26 07:21:08 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need that much attention from a man who is trying to better himself by getting an education, I'd say you both are immature and confused. Why not just be friends and stop the heavy comittment stuff for the moment? Then you have the best of both worlds and you take the stress off of the relationship. Give the guy a break, honey and back off. A man doesn't want to be chased. It makes you look very needy. Godloveya.
2006-12-26 07:20:58 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is hard when you love someone to have this much confusion.
I say, leave him alone. Count him out of your mind if you can or as much as you can.
Open your eyes to what else is out there. You may find a relationship that is equal on both sides. Experience has shown me no matter how much you love someone, if it does not come back at you in equal strength, and equal amounts of want, it will never fly and will never make both people happy.
He does not sound like he is interested. Please face that.
When I was younger, there was a guy around every corner. Open your eyes and you will see them. Quit concentrating on something that has not worked.
2006-12-26 07:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love.... it can be such a confusing emotion.
Nevertheless, if the gentleman builds your confidence in him. Then smashes it by letting you go. I'm sorry but that would be rough on anyone's emotions. Three times in one year sounds like a serious emotional roller coaster. It sounds as though it's time to get off that roller coaster. And teach hard love... by not chasing him, and giving him time to mature a little.
I would think that sometimes stress would bring two individuals closer, by giving them chances to bond, and talk. Not give them a chance to run from the problem.
Sorry darlin.........if he breaks under pressure now. What do you think he'll do in harder situations?
Keep your head up, in due time you'll find your answer. Keep strong....................... and moving on!
Good luck!
2006-12-26 07:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lo Lo G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he keeps taking youfor granted by breaking up with you then crawling back...becuase he KNOWS that you will take him back then i say don't take him back
a real relationship woul dhave no break up and make up just becuase the person knows that the other will ALWAYS take them back... and if he is breaking up becuase of stress than he shouldn't be crawling back stress isn't really a reason for break ^ / make ^
i say find someone else
someone who will stand tall and hold you even through the roughest patches of life love and relationships!
there isn't any need for that guy to be breaking you heart just to re-generate himself then going and doin it again!
2006-12-26 07:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Mystery 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the poor guy alone. Don't think you know what's going on inside his head. You don't. He is obviously uncomfortable with you. If you have to keep convincing him to come back to you then I would suggest it is you who need a confidence boost. He probably isn't the one for you. Find someone else and let him travel his own path without your pestering.
2006-12-26 07:12:20 · answer #6 · answered by garo g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to be with someone confused and immature? I say move on. If you are chasing after a guy who "doesn't have to handle" a relationship, well, you're wasting your time.
Let him go.
2006-12-26 07:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if he breaks up with you again the best thing for you to do is try not to talk to him aviod him,prove to him that you are a strong person and you dont really need him around , if he loves you then he will come to you just dont feed into him..try to aviod all phone calls, e mails and tex messages from him.. he will continue to take you for granted iif you continue to let him..so dont.if its ment to be you will be together
2006-12-26 07:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys are the classic example of a drama couple. You both enjoy the whole breaking up and then getting back together act. Why fix what's not broken - as long as you guys are not getting others involved keep up the act. No one can help you.
2006-12-26 07:12:56 · answer #9 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Leave him alone before you turn into a door mat. Men don't miss a good thing until it's gone. Let him miss you. Hold out!
2006-12-26 07:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by LeeLea 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋