I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year.. For four months now, we've been kicking the idea around of him moving in with me, but one thing or another always comes up and he keeps pushing the time frame back... I'm getting well and sick of the feeling of being 'strung along'.. Thoughts? Ideas? Or am I just pushing too much?
2006-12-26 07:02:55 · 24 answers · asked by ResQMouse 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There really isnt a time span on moving in together. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs and yeah we had the same problem we discussed it and agreed but for the past few months something comes up. It got to the point where i saw as if it happens it happens no rush...So maybe you might want to see it like that.. But if you feel like you're pushing him give him time maybe he's not ready yet to move in remind you guys have their male ego...good luck
2006-12-26 08:21:31 · answer #1 · answered by NENA 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Moving in is a big step in a relationship, and isn't (in my opinion, anyway) something a couple should do unless A) they're very seriously committed to one another, or B) it's easy enough to move apart if the relationship doesn't work out.
It's only been a year, so I would suspect that your boyfriend might not be at point A). If he isn't, then pressuring him isn't going to help. I've known of relationships that have fallen apart after the couples started living together. Why don't you have a conversation with him about his feelings on the matter, and tell him that it's okay if he's not ready to move in with you? That way, you'll know how he feels, but won't be putting him on the spot.
2006-12-26 07:13:01 · answer #2 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Living together is a huge committment, and if someone hesitates, there are reasons for this. I would wait a year or longer and things change when you live together.
And a guy will feel that if he senses you are pushing too much, what exactly is the real hurry, relax and enjoy the man and the relationship for what it is, if and when the time is right, then it will happen, if not, it was not meant to be
2006-12-26 07:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by Angela W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was about 1 year before I moved into a place where my then boyfriend spent every weekend and holidays with me and then about 8 months later he moved in and 3 months later we got a place together.
You both need to be comfortable with the idea of living together or it will cause a lot of probs. Give him time but let him know that you are ready. Give him a deadline to think about it and at the deadline talk about it again.
2006-12-26 07:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt push it too much. Living together is a HUGE committment, and its going to be VERY HARD for a while. Even if you think it sounds like a good idea, its going to CHANGE alot of things for the WORSE. Its one thing to have a boyfriend who you see often, and ENTiRELY another thing to live with that person and not be able to escape them if you feel like it. So.... Id hold off for at least 1 yr 6 mo- If by then, and things are GOING GREAT with NO exceptions.... Id ask him again. Good luck
2006-12-26 07:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to wait until both people are comfortable with the idea. If you often spend the weekend at each others' places and practically "live together" anyway, then there's not much basis for him to be stalling, except for the fact that a lot of the time guys seems to like "guy space." Do you like his friends enough to have them over at your place until all hours playing video games and being noisy? Does he like your friends well enough to deal with girls' night in? Also, many people who have otherwise broken ties with their religious upbringings hang on to odd bits of their religion, and in most religions it is considered bad to live with a romantic partner out of wedlock. Even if he's not religious, he may be hanging on to his negative view of this. Also, moving in together shows a huge amount of commitment, and men, for whatever reason, are terrified of that. You should discuss this whole thing with him in a non-accusatory way and try to see what he really wants to do and what is holding him back.
2006-12-26 07:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by Cat Loves Her Sabres 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he live in an apt? If yes, I just read an article giving circumstances when living together doesn't usually work out & thats when a lease comes up & its "convenient" to move in.
I would drop the issue & just enjoy the time you are seeing each other. If he becomes ready to move in with you he'll let you know. So just be patient.
2006-12-26 07:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are being too pushy. Moving in together is a big thing - especially for him. But, if it seems like he's stringing you along, then just ask him straight out if he's ready or not. Tell him to be honest with you and respect whatever he says.
2006-12-26 07:05:05 · answer #8 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When the time is right, it will happen. Do not be to pushy or you will push him away. My husband and I moved in together when we were going out for only 2 months. So if it's meant to be it will happen no matter how long you've been together.
2006-12-26 07:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by APRIL M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My current girl and I dated for 5 months before moving in together. It's been a year now and so far so good. We are really in tune with each other so its been easy.
2006-12-26 07:05:53 · answer #10 · answered by teeyodi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋