I am 33 and I have a 36-year-old sister who is married to a man 10 years her senior. I have become very uncomfortable around him. They have been married for 6 years and have been having problems recently. This is her first marriage and his second; they have two little girls together. When the family gets together, he always greets the women in the family with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Lately, however, he has been paying more attention to me, more than what he extends to my sister. I tried to tell myself I was imagining it, but during one of our holiday meals over the weekend, I was standing in front of the silverware and he came up to get a spoon. Instead of reaching in beside me, he put both arms around my waist and pressed in really close. I said "Excuse me!" and he jokingly said, "My gift to you." then walked away.
I am a survivor of domestic violence and I can't help but see my ex in some of the things this guy does. I CAN'T say anything to my sister. What should I do??
2006-12-26 06:52:23 · 11 answers · asked by mynx326 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If he does anything like this again, I am going to have to tell him flat out that I do NOT appreciate him doing this to me, my sister, or my family. I am finding it increasingly difficult to bite my tongue, even though I know I can't butt into their problems unless she asks my help or advice.
2006-12-26 06:53:35 · update #1
I should add that My sister is by no means blind to this guy or spineless. She puts her foot down and tells him what's what when he crosses the line with her.
We are also strict Roman Catholic, so she is doing all she can to hold her marriage together.
2006-12-26 07:26:50 · update #2
Next time he gives you a "gift", tell him if he's very attached to it, he'll keep it to himself. If not, you'll gladly destroy it for him.
2006-12-26 07:24:58 · answer #1 · answered by proudmama 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The next time that this happens right then and there you have to take care of the situation if not that is when your sister may think that you are jumping to conclusions or that he convenes her he was playing...So the only way to get your point across is to take care of it right there on the spot..So what if it is a family gathering all the more to show how disrespectful he is and your sister I am sure deserves better...What kind of man hits on his wife's family..That is just enough to get some one shot..
2006-12-26 07:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thst very common. He is probably interested in you too and wants to have a fling on the side. He figures its a safe risk for him because if you do anything you will be too ashame to tell your sister. Or he just might be one of those guys that think that now that hes in the family that he can joke sexually with other family members. Sounds like a winner good luck. If you have a real tight relationship with your sister tell her that her husband makes you uncomfortable when he gets too close. She should aprecitate your honesty because she might be thinking that your flirting with him or that you might even like his come ons.
2006-12-26 07:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by postmasterfsx 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to be very clear to him that you aren't welcoming anything remotely flirtatious from him, and try very hard to avoid being around him and never alone with him. The last thing you want is your relationship ruined with your sister. If they are having problems, this may be his attempt to further sabatoge their relationship or to hurt her, so by going to her and saying things, you may be playing directly into his plans. Some people are master manipulators. I am sorry to hear this, best of wishes.
2006-12-26 07:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you reside in a special undertaking that many can not comprehend. this is hard to stay in a house with different adults who all have their own critiques on how issues could be finished, i think of you're courageous, i could in no way choose for to stay in that undertaking. on the turn side there is that many different persons with journey and understanding that should assist you. Kudos for attempting to make that artwork. Thank being reported this is your wedding ceremony, a as quickly as in an entire life adventure for you. I even have an analogous issue with my kin (and family members disagreements) I advised them I invite who I invite and in case you chosen to no longer come you would be ignored yet i'm no longer catering my customer record to all and sundry yet myself. in the adventure that your quickly to be brother-in-regulation won't be able to be mature adequate to comprehend your and your fiancés friendship together with his ex, lower back his loss. enable him act like a toddler having a temper tantrum and take the extreme street. Congrats and that i'm hoping you wedding ceremony is going properly =)
2016-10-06 01:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's coming on to you. I've seen a similar think in a friends family. I know it's gonna be tough but you should say something to your sister. She needs to know what kind of chump she's married to. Besides, if he's doing it to you he's probably fooling around elsewhere too.
2006-12-26 07:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by Zig Zag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him if you don't change your ways I will be the first to tell my sister about your unwelcome gestures towards me. If that don't stop him maybe he wants you to say something to your sister and I would run to her and tell her all about his sorry @ss.
Good Luck.
2006-12-26 07:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont wait til next time tell him straight now if he is acting inappropriate to u who will he turn to next his own children anything is possible.
2006-12-26 09:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very arrogant and glib. Wake him up. Embarrass him with some remark or mimic him with exaggeration in front of everyone.......he's going to keep doing it until you put him in his place.
2006-12-26 07:32:55 · answer #9 · answered by Tina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do everything in my power not to be around this perv if I were you. Maybe you should talk to your sister if yall are close enough to talk.
2006-12-26 07:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by colee97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋