In the past week and a half, I have had two dreams about a woman I know through work. I am attracted to her and we share a strong connection. But she has a live-in boyfriend and I am married, so I have never acted on it nor would I. My wife pays me no attention and rarely even lets me touch her. I have never had these dreams before and am not sure why it happened this time. The amount of time spent with this woman has not changed either, so it is not as if I am all of a sudden around her every day of the week. I see her about once a week for about 2 hours. Am I crazy? Why is my mind dreaming about other women all of a sudden?
2006-12-26 06:44:52 · 23 answers · asked by Jaybo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are telling yourself that you have a problem. Its not with the person you dreamed of, its with your wife. You are telling yourself that you are in a vulnerable position, and that your needs are not being met at home.
I know its obvious to your brain that your relationship with your wife affects you, but its percolated through to other regions of self, and they are reporting in saying "Houston theres a problem".
2006-12-26 06:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is happening to you is human. Your not getting any at home so your mind is wondering into uncharted territory. A place where your dreaming up situations to substitute for the real thing. At some point you would have been started having thoughts of another woman. Time can and cannot play a role in your own response to attraction for someone. It's good to know off hand that nothing will become of your deprivation of intimacy from your wife. You need to plan a romantic night out. Maybe to get her interested. Remember something back when the two of you were hot and heavy for each other. Try and rekindle the flames of passion. Talk to your wife. See whats going on with her.
2006-12-26 06:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by giya_98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something to bring the wife back to become a wife again and not a mommy. Buy her the Dr. Laura book "The care and feeding of husbands" she should get a hint. Dream about the other woman and then enjoy a little self abuse. You have to get a wife back or you will not make it. If the book is not a big enough hint, get counseling. Nothing worse that having to beg for attention and sex. You are married probably with kids so you have to stay married. Lots of self abuse...lol
2006-12-26 07:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you are frustrated and lonely in your marriage. Somehow you need to communicate with your wife about your feelings (not meaning you should tell her you are dreaming about someone else--- that would make her even more withdrawn from you) and the two of you should decide if you want to work on making the marriage work.
it is normal to feel attractions to other people, even in a good marriage it happens occasionally. But in a marriage such as you describe it is perfectly understandable.
Try to keep things 'honorable' with the other woman, at least while you remain married. But don't feel guilty about the dreams. They may be 'nature's way' to give you a little respite from your loneliness.
2006-12-26 07:05:57 · answer #4 · answered by Rani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The amount of time spent with the woman at work HAS changed, as it all adds up, and an initial attraction will either decrease or increase - not stay the same. And the less you get at home, the more you want from somewhere else. This woman has become "somewhere else" for you, at least in your dreams - and dreams reflect real wishes.
2006-12-26 06:53:18 · answer #5 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your real problem isn't the dreams, nor this woman. It's your marriage. You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your wife and find out why she is not sexually connecting with you. Be ready to hear her disappointment in you and the relationship, but allow her to express her needs and feelings to you. It should be an open discussion and not about blaming or judgment.
The things you said lead me to believe you do love your wife and want your marriage.... so start working on saving it. The other issues will fade away when you do.
If necessary, seek out a marriage counselor to assist. When your marriage is healed and you are enjoying your wife's attentions and some hot, steamy sex with her.... the other woman won't be in your dreams anymore
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-26 06:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
I think you feel attracted to this woman because you get attention from her.
You say you and your wife have 'probs' so I think the best would be: talk to her! I know that's hard and if you confront her with the situation you're in she might be worried & angry.
But:
Do you still love your wife? Do you still want to live & sleep with her? If yes to all of it, you have to change something between you and your wife! If you can not tell her in person write a letter (make sure you really tell her everything that's in your mind!) and give it to her...then go to work (she needs to be alone and think of the whole situation). When you come back try to talk to her...this will be hard for both of you but in my opinion that the only possibility to change something for both of you!
Good luck
2006-12-26 06:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by anna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're thinking about this other woman simply because your own wife isnt giving you the attention that you are seeking at this moment.......You're spending time with this other woman who may be giving you more attention then your wife....I wouldnt do anything wrong though but if you feel that you and your wife arent on the same level anymore, be a man and be honest in telling her that you want to move on dude
2006-12-26 06:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Manlaw states that when your wife fails to "put out", the husband's mind will begin to "wonder about".
Adultery ain't right, but it is inevitable when your wife fails to hold up her end of the bargain.
Analysis:
This is your body's way of reminding you that it is high time that your wife made your forehead cave the hell in with some mind-numbing sex.
This is your body's way of coping with the fact that you aren't sexually active.
The only person that is crazy is your wife and I predict that an adultery will take place within 6 months to a year if things continue as they do now.
Your wife is creating a personal hell on Earth for you.
2006-12-26 06:53:50 · answer #9 · answered by DaMan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mind is playing tricks on you because you spend 2 hours with her at least once a week and because your wife doesn't let you touch her. I think you have nothing to worry about as long as you don't act on these feelings or as long as you don't call your wife this woman's name.
2006-12-26 06:50:26 · answer #10 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋