How do I get my ex-boyfriend back?

Question

We've been broken up for about a month and every time I say I'm moving on he pops back into my life. He invited me and my son to xmas with his family and it was amazing, we had the best time and it seemed like he wanted to get back together. I'm miserable without him but he says his heart isn't where it used to be. He says he happy now but we had sex 2 weeks ago. I have no idea what to think of all this. I am getting so many mixed feelings here. He knows I want to be with him and why would he toy with my emotions. I am a fool for thinking he wants to be with me, or should I just move on? He won't even give our relationship a second chance and I refuse to be his booty call. My son is so attached to him and it's going to break my heart to say he can't see him anymore. I just want to know what I should do....How do I get him back...how do I get him to love me again without playing any games?

I have talked to him about this repeatly....he says I need to stop smothering him and I should stop begging him to spend time with me. I just want to talk but he says he needs time. All I've seen him do is go down to the bars everynight and get drunk enough that pukes on himself. I know that's not who he is. And this pathetic, I can't be without him person isn't me either. I just don't know how he can forget about everything, all of the good times. Then I hear he wants to ask another girl out, but when I question him about it he gets defensive and now he's mad at me for asking. I can't even get mad anymore. I have to watch what I say around him because I don't want to lose him forever. What is wrong with me?

It's just hard....I thought he was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with....

Answer 1

You're not a fool. You just need some encouragement and re-assurance. Breaking up is hard to do, but accepting it and coming to terms with the reality can be even harder.

It sounds like this guy is playing games with you and I know that you realize that. You should move on with your life and focus your attention on You and your son. You don't need anyone in your life who is going to take you or your son for granted, take pity on you or waste your time. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't believe in their relationship. He is doing you a favor. I know that it might not seem like it, but he is. Just dust yourself off and welcome in bigger and better things. The biggest mistake you could make would be to try to change this guy or how he feels. He needs to realize his mistakes on his own (as we all do). Who knows, if the relationship is meant to be, and if this guy gets a clue and realizes what he's losing, then you'll be back together.....only time will tell. In the mean time, use this time to live your life to the fullest and breathe in every precious moment as if it were your last. Things will get better, just believe in yourself!

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 2

Hi girl do not be stupid, read between the lines, get over it and stop being miserable without him. He told you that his heart is not where it used to be, that means that his heart is some place else. Look, giving him sex to get him back would never help the situation to get better, you are only disrespecting yourself and he is already disrespecting you.
It sound to me like you are begging for something that will never happen especially if he realized that he can get between your legs whenever he wants.
I am a man but I will set you straight, leave this guy alone because he already have someone, stop making yourself a fool. You need someone who will respect you, and love you for who you are.
What am trying to say is that you need a man not a boy.

Answer 3

I say, take time apart for a while b/c you seem that you really wanna be with him. But you should know that he's perfectly clear that you wanna be with him no matter what and instead of cherishing you he'd take advantage of it. This is what guys do. They dont really care about our feelings. They just care what can make them feel superior. So back off, try moving on(even if you still want him back). Just remember if you force a man back by guilting him it wont last. He's got to realize he wants back on his own. It may take a while, from 1 month to 1 year mostly, but once he comes back, it'll be much better b/c it's his own decision rather than you beg him back. If not, then you've moved on and probably found someone much better!

Answer 4

If you know what is best you would distance yourself from him. Why would you want a man that doesn't want you. If a good woman wants a man and he doesn't want her then they just aren't meant to be otherwise you would be together. Next time you get into a relationship make sure that you wait a while to introduce him to your son. You can't just have men in and out of your life, It will give your son a bad impression. Spend sometime with your child and stop chasing after a man, he should be chasing after you.

Answer 5

You've got to be FIRM!!! You can't say you refuse to be his "booty call" & still have sex with him after he tells you he no longer wants to be with you. You need to stick to your guns & if he says he no longer wants to be with you cut ALL contact with him. It's better for you emotions & for your son's. I'm sure, that if he's so attached to him he's hurting from all of the on-off stuff. If he's so happy without you he needs to leave you alone! Do not accept invitations from him or phone calls or even visits to your son. Perhaps with this he'll realize that he really does want you in his life as a couple or you'll realize that you don't really need him. Stay Strong!

Answer 6

he sounds iffie i believe he likes u but as u said he only comes for sex give ur child a break hes gonna get hurt when this man leaves it probably already does so quit doing the booty call thats all it soujnds like he doesnt want u but he doesnt want anyone else to have u sorry

Answer 7

Men pay games. they do this to drive us crazy. refuse to play the game and let your son see him, you just don't make yourself available for him and he will either come around or you will have to move on. I know this is hard but I've been there and done that. Find something else to occupy your time.

Answer 8

Honey, this scummy bastard is playing you like a pike on the line! He is getting his jollies out of toying with your emotions, getting some off you, seeing you get your hopes up high like a puppy dog desperately wanting their owner's approval, and is going to drop you like a major bowel movement when he has had his fill of his fun and you as a lover! DROP THIS SON OF A ***** AND DON'T LET HIM NEAR YOU AGAIN!!!!!

Answer 9

i think you need him more...and he know this thing that whenever he will aproach you, you will came to him like a mad..so whenever he want..he makes ready for sex..bocz u deadly wants that with him....so only one thing to say first check he have really any feelings for you....if than try to avoid him..let him came to you...or another way the older formula make him jealous by some how.. i think u better know how u can.......and if he have no feeling like love for you than no mean to waste your time and life for such peoples who can never respect your feelings.

Answer 10

TALK TO HIM TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. IF HE CHOOSES NOT TO BE WITH YOU LET GO. YOU WILL SURVIVE. IN TIME THE HURT WILL STOP. AND ONE DAY SOMEONE WILL COME IN YOUR LIFE AND HE'LL BE A DISTANT MEMORY.