My b/f of 5 months bought me a beautiful engagement for Christmas and popped the question! We have had problems all along with his lying to me. I told him i loved the ring and would love to marry him, someday, but only if i can start believing in him again. He got mad and said that if his wanting to marry me didn't prove he loved me nothing would.
I feel like if he loved me, he wouldn't be lying to me all the time. Am i being too sensitive, or am i right?
2006-12-26 06:14:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you are absolutley right to feel that way. who wants to get married to someone when they question everything about them? you turning sown his proposal should show him you are seriously not taking this kind of treatment. if he really loves you and is serious about marrying you, he'll stop the lying, gain your trust back, and try the proposal again.
2006-12-26 06:18:57 · answer #1 · answered by ErikaCane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way, trust is #1 in a marriage. Choosing to spend the rest of your life with someone is HUGE and should only happen once in a lifetime. If you have doubts now, marrying him will not help. You know in your heart you aren't ready or you would have said yes. He may be upset, but if he loves you and wants to stand by your side for the rest of his life, he should be willing to work towards you trusting him. He should do everything he can to prove he will be the best husband and until he does, do not rush into getting married. You will know in your heart when its right. Good luck to you, i wish you the best.
2006-12-26 06:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by misty n justin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are very right. Let's face it with marriage comes TRUST. And if you have trust issues with him, you are destined to fail. My advice to build this relationship to the next level are as follows.
Meet each others' needs.
The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of two people. He needs to discover what your needs are. Maybe you needs a soft place to fall that day or you need a shoulder to cry on. You don't always need to agree with your man, but you should figure out his needs, whether it's saying that you're proud of him, or that he looks nice that day.
Have a solid friendship.
Set specific goals.
Get back to basics.
Take responsibility.
You can't control the way your spouse acts in your relationship, but you can control how you react in negative situations.
Turn the negatives into a to-do list. For example, if you don't have fun with your partner, you need to make a list of enjoyable activities you can do together.
Good luck!
2006-12-26 06:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by mumra_06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right, but sometimes men who are lyers or have lied before can not understnad the truth infront of them from co-ing themselves into beliveing certain things.
If you force yourself into a marraige at this point you will be miserable.
You need happiness, maybe suggest couple therapy before getting married and work on it, if he refuses then you know he is not willing to work on a goal. earing trust is hard to do, but once it is earned and lost it's hardered to gain it back.
You also need to consider your feelings about this, honestly where do you see yourself in a few months? A few years, what about your career goals in life and ambitions, does he know them will he help you achieve them and not work on his?
2006-12-26 06:18:39 · answer #4 · answered by Juleette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't being to sensitive, you have to protect your feelings, there's no one that knows better then you what you feel in your heart. Good Luck, and this is a big decision so take as much time as you need.
2006-12-26 06:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Dee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No not too sensitive, it would have sucked to say yes and then have him lie again. Divorce sucks. Don't marry him until your READY to. And pre-nups are there for a reason!
2006-12-28 07:20:53 · answer #6 · answered by -Bibee- 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to say what you think. Especially when talking about marriage.
I think he proposed to get himself out of the doghouse. I had someone propose in a similar way and every time I think of it, I am so happy I did not say yes.
2006-12-26 06:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by oohhbother 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right. Don't get married until you feel you are ready or else you're in for a long road of unhappiness. I would talk with him and explain your feelings though.
2006-12-26 06:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u are on the right track.. but if he's lying about stupid.. meaningless things then i wouldnt really be worried
2006-12-26 06:16:47 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Bobby D - The Angels Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u aren't ready for that kind of commitment dont worry
2006-12-26 06:16:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋