She sounds very ungrateful! If you and her are such close friends where she feels she can run up your phone bill with her stupid wedding questions when you are not included in her wedding, you should really let her know how you feel. Next time she asks you to help her with the wedding, let her know she should call one of her bridesmaids... and get off the phone with her... she sounds like a waste of time!
2006-12-26 06:17:41
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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It sounds pretty tacky of her, but I wouldn't say anything about not being one. It's her business who she picks and like it or not you have to go wiht it. I should have been the maid of honor at a friends wedding becuase I did absolutly everything for her (I'm talkin even made her bouquet and did all the flowers the night before for free, and I was a florist at the time!) Maybe next time she calls you should ask her if her sister or one of the other friends could help look for what shes looking for...tell her you have a huge project at work or something. If you already bought the bridesmaid dress thats just plain crappy of her not to give you a decent reason to wear it and then I might say something, but other from that, just bite your lip and be as evasive as possible. good luck!
2006-12-26 06:41:18
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answer #2
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answered by ASH 6
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Attend the wedding, if you were planning to go now that it's out of town, but start screening your calls if you don't want to talk about her plans every day. It's not fair for her to call you constantly but maybe she is feeling guilty about not being able to have you as a bridesmaid and is trying to keep you "in the loop" so you won't feel even more left out. Brides sometimes make poor choices on who their bridesmaids will be based on something that happens on any given day during the planning such as a thoughtful phone call from one friend versus a small spat or inconsiderate comment from another. After they've asked, it's done and there is no way to change it, even if they regret their choices. Sounds like for whatever reason, your friend chose other friends as bridesmaids and now feels funny about you not being included and wants to keep you feeling "connected" to her plans. Grin and bear it until the wedding passes by talking to her only occassionally and then put a smile on your face for her big day. It'll all be over soon enough... hopefully your friendship won't suffer permanently over what is really a temporary situation.
2006-12-26 06:21:44
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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If the bride had you purchase a bridesmaid dress and then told you that you aren't a bridesmaid anymore, then pitch a fit and get your money back.
It sounds like plans changed quite a bit for her. Did she ever actually say "I'm sorry, but you can't be a bridesmaid anymore?" If not, I'd clarify with her that you aren't one. This could just be a big old mess of confusion.
If you know for a fact that you aren't a bridesmaid anymore, then the next time she calls about this, say "Why aren't your bridesmaids helping you with this?" and rush her off the phone. Stop helping with her wedding plans.
I wouldn't, though, ask her why you aren't a bridesmaid.
2006-12-26 07:31:58
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answer #4
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answered by Pink Denial 6
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Raerae,I know how you feel girl. I was demoted as a bridesmaid myself. I never said any thing to her though because being a bride is stressful enough. I know because I have been a bride. I chose not to say anything to her because I felt that she did what she wanted to do. It is her day. Most women turn into bridezillas. So, now you know what kind of friend she is and what she thinks of you. Say something after the wedding. Be as supportive as your finances will allow and attend the wedding since you bought the dress. If not, take it back and get a great pair of jeans or something. If you want, I can tell you my story to make you feel better.
2006-12-26 07:08:22
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answer #5
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answered by Gina B 2
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Being a true friend sometimes means you have to let things go without understanding the why of it. Who cares if you weren't picked. If you expect some sort of compensation or invite because you feel you worked harder on the relationship than the other girls, what does that really say about you. Do you really need "payment" for your friendship. Just be happy for your friend. Try to do your best to help make her day as special as possible even though you are not part of the wedding party. I suspect that she will appreciate you even more if you just support her and wish her happiness.
2006-12-26 06:22:41
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answer #6
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answered by 1truthseeker 4
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If she made you buy the dress already, she either needs to make you a bridesmaid or reimburse you for the dress.
I would talk to her about it so that she knows how you feel. Most likely, she just didn't pick you because she didn't think you would be upset. She is still coming to you like you are her maid of honor, too, so it's like you are doing all of the duties without the respect or title. However, it's her wedding and she'll do what she wants...but if you don't tell her how you feel, you're going to start to resent her.
2006-12-27 02:36:25
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Be grateful. Standing up in someone's wedding is hard work. I was the maid of honor in a girlfriend's wedding 6 years ago - a girlfriend who lived out of state. She invited me and my family so we made the trek there, and it was exhausting. Then her other bridemaids were upset because I couldn't do the typical jobs of the maid of honor. When I got married a year ago, I invited her merely as a guest - she was upset, but I simply explained that I wanted a very small bridal party (we only had a best man and maid of honor). At any rate, I think I saved her a ton of stress. Be glad you can just go and have fun.
2006-12-26 07:38:29
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answer #8
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answered by Rachel 7
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It probably wouldn't hurt to mention the fact that you would be honored to be a bridesmaid if she should need another one.
She does seem to be leaning on you a lot for help and advice. Some women just lose all sense of rationality when they are getting married, so you just may have to put with her to some extent. Be supportive, but don't be afraid to politely let her know if you feel overwhelmed by her requests, whether it is because of time or money.
2006-12-26 06:17:03
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answer #9
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answered by paulooly 2
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I was in a similar situation. I planned everything with this so-called close friend of mine and got dumped as a bridemaid at the last moment to.
Listen, tell her how you feel, that you are hurt and confused. Ask her why aren't your bridesmaids helping you?
If you paid for your dress already for the wedding then she should offer the money back. And maybe you should mention that to, I did.
If she ask you to do anything else for her wedding, tell her you are busy, stop picking up the phone to her.
2006-12-26 21:11:46
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answer #10
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answered by LC 5
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