Ok, I have two best friends. Sarah-my best friend from high school. We slightly drifted apart in college, & she joined a sorority & that was her main 'friends for the past 2 years. She kinda forgot me.Well, we have become extremly close again over the past year & 1/2, even closer than before.
Melissa-friend from a job that I had in high school. I always told her she would be my maid of honor. We have never drifted apart & we have always had this super close connection. She has never forgotten me & but is away at college. Well, I wanted melissa, but she is so far away & busy she cant really help me like I need it.
Sarah is all about the wedding planning. She has already helped me pick out a dress & is there for everything I need. I havent officially asked anyone yet, but both would be hurt if i choosed the other. Relationship-wise, id pick melissa. I love sarah equally, we just drifted apart at one point, & i feel like that would never happen w/melissa. who should i choose
2006-12-26 06:00:41 · 38 answers · asked by nonamegirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ive thought about having them both, but i only have 3 total, and that would leave my other friend out!!!
2006-12-26 06:04:34 · update #1
I think you should have a talk with Melissa. Tell her that you want her to be your maid of honor but you feel bad because she can't be there to help you out like Sarah and if you don't choose Sarah and Sarah does all this work for you, you feel bad for that.
Ask her to understand why you have to choose Sarah for this and tell her that in your heart you want it to be her.
But never tell Sarah about these feelings.
Good luck!
2006-12-26 21:14:45 · answer #1 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definitely Melissa. If she has been a steadfast friend from the beginning to the end, that is your maid of honor. Perhaps Sarah (like alot of women) are all into the glitz and glamour of a wedding, which is fine. But who will be there in your good and bad times after the wedding is over? I wouldn't risk loosing a tight friendship in Melissa by not making her your maid of honor. If you don't choose her, she will obviously think that Sarah and you have a better relationship throughout. From what you have stated, that doesn't seem true. As far as how Sarah would feel, she might be a little sad, but if she was a real friend she would understand that you guys have just reconnected, and she should be honored to be a bridesmaid period. If she can't understand that and throws a fit (after replacing you with her sorors in college. Now they aren't around like they used to be so she re-values your friendship.), than you know where her true character lies. Hopefully she will react in a womanly manner. Congratulations on your marriage!
2006-12-26 06:17:38 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Chick 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should choose the person you trust the most to be your maid of honour. The maid of honour has a tremendous amount of responsibility to bear. All of the bridesmaids are responsible for buying their own dresses. In addition, traditionally, it is the MOH that plans the bride's bridal or bachelorette party and pays for all the costs associated with that. Most brides have their mothers and MOH's help them tremendously with planning their wedding.
It sounds like Sarah is the person who is best for the job. You should tell Melissa that you thought of her as well, but considering the distance (both actual and metaphoric), you figured that it would be quite a burden to ask her to assume the responsibility of being a bridesmaid.
2006-12-27 08:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already told Melissa that you would pick her. She has been your friend through thick and thin and did not give up on you like Sarah did. If you have a freind that will dump you when a frat comes along, then they are not really a friend. If you need help planning the wedding ask your mom or sisters. Tell sarah that you still need her help. Dont lead them both on. And if you pick 2 MOH then you will be leaving out the 3rd girl. Imagine how that would make her feel.
2006-12-26 06:12:46 · answer #4 · answered by chrissys08 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since it is such a hard decision, you could let them decide. Have them fight it out sort of thing. But look at both of them and see which one would be the best fit. Who is able to help you out the most and who would be the most responsible throughout the entire process? You're going to need someone that you can really depend on and not bail on you.
I know my sister had that problem. She picked her "best friend" but then they had a falling out and the "friend" cancelled a bunch of wedding stuff. It was total chaos. So then she decided to have a different friend fill in, and she hasn't spoken to that friend since the wedding reception. So be sure that it is someone that will stick by you before, during and way after the wedding. You don't want to look back at pictures of your special day and get angry as soon as you see your maid of honor, do you?
Best of luck in your wedding though. And remember, if they are true friends, they'll respect your decision either way.
2006-12-27 02:25:01 · answer #5 · answered by StayJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your friend Sarah is helping you out with the details and is around to help you run errands and things like that, I think you should ask her to be your maid of honor. Your friend in college should understand that being a maid of honor, or just a bridesmaid for that matter, is a very big obligation and she probably doesn't have time for all that inbetween her studies and friends away at school. I'm sure she'll understand.
Perhaps you could ask whichever friend is not the maid of honor to recite a reading during the ceremony or something so that they feel special as well.
2006-12-26 06:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well - since the Maid of Honor is responsible for all the planning, all the set up, the bachelorette party... and making sure everything goes smoothly - Sarah is your best choice.
She can do the job, and you love her... so what if you drifted apart for a while, that happens. And Melissa can't do the job... she's to far away.
You need to choose, and you need to make a choice that will make your wedding the happy and joyous affair that you deserve.
Just my .01
-dh
2006-12-26 06:05:40 · answer #7 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The best advice I can give you is if you feel they will be hurt if you choose on or the other, than put all three of them as your bridesmaids and dont have a maid of honor.
And tell them that your not going to have a maid of honor and your gonna need all of their help. And if you feel that one of your friends is helping you more with your wedding, than put her as your bridemaid.
The Maid of honor is a big responsibility, and you have to see who will be there for you. From your three friends, you will see who is more interested in helping you with your wedding, and you will than pick your choice.
Good Luck and CONGRADULATIONS!
.
2006-12-26 08:17:49 · answer #8 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make them both maids of honor. :) There is nothing that says you cannot have two. Just have Melissa be the one that stands next to you at the wedding, but in the annoucement and the thing they hand out at the wedding, just put maid of honor down for both.
It is your wedding, you do whatever you like. Your fiance could even choose two best mans if he wanted.
2006-12-26 06:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by Go Coogs! 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think either of your friends would make a great maid of honor. Since you are only having 3 bridesmaids, you could always not have a maid of honor if you have equal relationships with all 3 and it would be problematic to choose. It is your wedding, pick who you want. A true friend would understand if she was not picked to be your maid of honor that you have your reasons.
2006-12-26 06:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by V.W. 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋