I really need a laugh today, i am looking for the best one liner ever. 10 points to the winner :-)
2006-12-26 05:31:25 · 20 answers · asked by Tyler H 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Already some tough compeition, Right now, its a coinflip between JC and David, but keep them comin!
2006-12-26 05:39:55 · update #1
My wife and I were happy for 25 years....then we met
2006-12-26 05:34:53 · answer #1 · answered by david21495@sbcglobal.net 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I have a few to choose from :
" Mel Kiss My Grits !! : what Flo says on the old tv show Alice*
" Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!!! " : The Tonight Show w/ Johnny Carson also in the movie - The Shining.
"What You Talkin' 'bout Willis?!" : Different Strokes - Gary Coleman
"DYNOMITE" J.J. on Goodtimes
"Say Hello To My Little Friends !!!!" : Scarface -Al Pacino
Well - I could give more but,would like others to have a chance too. ; P
2006-12-26 16:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by Redhead 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
seems to be some confusion between one-liners and pick-up lines. i'll add my 4 cents worth (adjusted for inflation) with this two liner:
my wife had severe mood swings lately, so i bought her one of those " mood rings."
when she's in a good mood, the ring turns blue,but when she's in a bad mood it leaves a BIG RED MARK ON MY FOREHEAD.
2006-12-26 05:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by insaneasylummmmm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
basically because of the fact i do no longer care, would not advise i don't understand. -Homer Simpson Take my spouse - please -Henny Youngman Politics is the paintings of attempting to locate difficulty, looking it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and employing the incorrect remedies. -Groucho Marx Introducing "Lite": the recent thank you to spell easy with 20% fewer letters. - Jerry Seinfeld it somewhat is an atmosphere of welcoming, and that i think of you're able to easily get the hell out of right here. -Michael Scott till now you criticize somebody, you're able to stroll a mile of their footwear. That way once you criticize them, you're a mile far off from them and you have their footwear. - Jack Handey
2016-10-28 09:54:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."
The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."
The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
2006-12-26 05:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by Turkey Man 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Or
If a man says something, and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?
2006-12-26 05:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by smartaleck N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife came and asked me to take her on vacation to a place that she's never been before, I told let's go to the kitchen!!!!!
How about this one:
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
2006-12-26 05:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by J.C. 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My wife and I were happy for yrs of marriage
2006-12-26 23:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Sonu G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
2006-12-26 05:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by windrunner023 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If I melted dry ice, could I swim in it without getting wet?
2006-12-26 05:32:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Ettejin of Wern 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋