I don't want my Daughter to go to her Dad's?

Question

Okay I have a bit of a problem.Maybe somebody who has been through this can help me.I have a daughter who is 18 months old.I had her from a little summer fling I had when I was 16, I am now going on 19 and her dad is 24.When he takes her, he takes her to his parent's house and stays there with her for the weekend (she is not allowed at his current girlfriends house) My problem is....His mom is an alcoholic and his Dad is a heavy pot smoker, I know that my daughter's dad smokes too.The house there is filthy and she is always returned to me in the same outfit and has not been bathed.She has only been there a couple of times and I do not want her to at all, but I have been told he has rights and I can't deny him visitation, but under these circumstances I think it would be fair for me to do so.I guess my question is, what should I do? He pays child support....He was not there for her birth though and never signed her BC,also I was told that I have Full costody of her.Please help me.

Answer 1

Yes you have the right, if there is no order to establish parenting time etc., you can keep her from going there. Go to court and have a judge order custody to you and parenting time you can ask be supervised, you will need documented proof as to why. More than likely a guardian ad litem will be appointed. I would suggest to get this done so you can also get support established etc... It would be in yours and the childs best interest. Good luck. Also right now whith him not on the BC he has no rights.

Answer 2

Unless you two have been married, then technically speaking you do have full custody. You can deny him visitation till he gets fed up and takes you to court, however without visitation he might stop paying. Just because those people do that stuff (smoke pot and drink) doesnt mean that they do it around her. Also... Guys are NOT the greatest at bathing children or knowing when they should be bathed... Most guys feel if noone is screaming then everything is fine. So you need to take some action and TELL him to bathe her.... Also, why isnt she allowed at his girlfriends? Is he living with his girlfriend? If there isnt an EXTREMELY legitimate reason why he cant be at his girlfriends house with the baby, then you might want to give in on that one so that he can take her somewhere else other than his parents. He DOES have rights, and if he takes this to court, he will probably win unless you can prove they do those things. My hubs X tried to say that their daughter couldnt be with my family because they drink and swear.... The judge literrally laughed at her, and said, "what do you want me to do, keep her from going anywhere?" So I think you will lose this battle if you continue your efforts. Good luck

Answer 3

If you have FULL custody of the child and the enviroment that the child is being taken to is considered unfit for a child's health then you have the right to withhold visitation privilages from the father. There is nothing he can do. The worst that he can do is take you to court and then the court will rule in favor of the best interest to the child. Which would be an enviroment not so poluted. So tell the father either he finds a more suitable place for the child or his visitation rights will be revoked.

Answer 4

As long as he is paying child support you can not deny visitations, but a couple of questions? Is he paying child support through a court order and does he have regular visitations through a court order, if the answer to these questions are no the you do not have to let her go, just tell hm under the circumstances you'd rather she didn't go to his parents, if he starts a fuss the you could tell him he'll have to take you to court and then all living conditions will be investigated and maybe he doesn't want that to happen, you have every right to make sure your child is going to a safe environment and if he dosen't see it that way the it's up to you, but you'll need proof of what you are accussing them of. Good Luck, Remember he'll be in your life forever because of your daughter.

Answer 5

The best thing to do is to go through your local child protective services agency if you have some sort of court agreement. If there isn't a court decision then talk to a lawyer if you can, there are low cost or no cost lawyers, who will help you work through the judicial system to help you and your baby. Your child did not choose to be born and should not have to suffer a father who does not care for her health and well being as he should. You have to look out for the best interest of your kid - even if it means that her dad can't see or be with her whenever he wants.

Answer 6

I think your best bet is to talk to a lawyer, it sound to me that there is no parenting plan that has been approved through the courts. You really need to get a Parenting Plan set up with him and you can make it a specific as you want, like he is to bath her everyday and there is to be no smoking around her, so and so on. If it is done legally and through the courts it can be inforced. I would definetly not get Social Services involved, unless you absolutely have to. Just remember do what is best for your child. Good luck, I hope this helps.

Answer 7

I think you can deny the father's visitation rights. It does not matter if he pays child support, the child is not being cared for like she should be and he should not be leaving her to go see his girlfriend. If he wants to keep her the weekend then he should not see the girlfriend. You should let him know how you feel about this situation and let him know he can't take for the whole weekend. If he does not like it then let him sue for visitation rights, he will not do it. It costs alot of money to get aa attorney and will not want to bother with this. You are the custodial parent in this situation and what you say goes. Who cares if he gives you child support. Let him know what you want for your child and when he can see her. You have to look after well being. Any court will rule in your favor if he keeps treating your baby like this. You don't want to be mean you just want what good for your baby. She needs good care from you and him if he wants to keep seeing her.

Answer 8

Oh yes, I did have the same problem like you with my daughter, her mother also smoked drugs and returned my daughter all dirty and in the same outfit she was wearing when she left me, but I went to children protection and explain what the problem was and that I wouldn't let her see the child anymore, and they started an investagation, she couldn't see the child until things was straighten up and she seek some help, so she haven't seen my daughter, I guess she wanted drugs more than her child, it don't bother me none at all that she don't get to see her daughter, she is the one who has to explain to her why wasn't her mother in her life. My daughter don't even ask for her anymore or if I say do you want to see your mother, she shakes her head and say no.

Answer 9

THAT IS NOT GOOD!! WHAT HAPPENS IF YOUR DAUGHTER RUNS INTO TROUBLE AND THEY ARE ALL DRUNK AND STONED OUT OF THEIR MINDS!!!!!!

This is no time to be worrying about their feelings. You have to think of your daughter's safety first and foremost!

If you have full custody and there is no visitation listed or court ordered you do have the right to deny him taking her to his parents for the weekend or any other time for that matter.

Simply tell him they are going to have to clean up their act before you let her stay with them. Be blunt and to the point!

Do what if you hurt their feelings! It is better than ending up going to your duaghter's funeral isn't it!

Answer 10

he is her father yes but at what point are you going to state,,this is my child and i dont want her around that sort of thing,,i am assuming to give your daughter visits because you want her to have her real father and not through any court who have said he has the right to ,,say ,,once a week. this seems your choice but who else is responsible for your childs welfare? is this the ideal situation you want for your daughter and if not who will speak up for how a child should be raised when not with you,,what you think is paramount and obviously his mum and dad dont think raising a child in this manner is wrong but you do yet you are not fighting for what you see as reasonable.what are you going to do when she gets older and has similar views about how a child should be raised,,that drinking and smoking pot is fine,,you are in fact responsible for making the best of what you have and if this is it,fine but if not,,you have to say something,,if he really wants to be a good parent to her he will change FOR her,,improve his prospects,,improve his health,improve her outlook on life,,make her see as she is older she can do better than a family like his.stand up as a mother who wants to do her best not someone who wants her real father at any costs.he thinks it is fine because his mum and dad do things like this and unless someone else says it is wrong he may never consider trying to be a better person,,even for her!