How do I get my 12 yr. old son, who says he is antisocial, to talk in public?

Answer 1

He sounds shy to me. I was extremely shy at his age, and so I speak from experience. The worst thing you can do is make a big deal out of it in front of him. Don't try to force him to talk to people, and don't talk about his shyness in front of other people. (It is horrible to hear, "Well, he's just shy..."etc.)
You should try to get him involved in some sort of club or activity, something that he is interested in. He might want to take lessons to do something, or join a sports team, or something like that. I joined a theater group, because for me, performing in front of people was different than talking to other people. However, it helped me get over my shyness.
He may just be quiet, also. Some people would simply rather observe the world around them than take part in it. It may be a phase, or it may be part of who he is. Encourage him in what he does well, suggest he gets involved in something. But don't push him. Pushing him could make him revert more. Being a shy person is natural. Some people are more outgoing than others, no one is the same. Perhaps it seems worse to some when a boy is shy because it goes against the typical male image one sees portrayed by society. (Just keep in mind that that image is not reality.) If you cannot get your son over his shyness, maybe it is just a natural part of him.

Answer 2

Sounds like someone has been giving him ideas as most 12 year olds don't know what anti social means.
He is shy.
He may get over it and he may not. try to do things with him that will encourage him (boy scouts) and make him feel he is under a spot light. As for public speaking, a A lot of people never get over that. I was pathetically shy as a young girl but today I earn a living (until I finish school any ways) dancing in a men's club (no, I won't say where). I still wouldn't want to talk in public. It's an entirely different thing.

Answer 3

If he's coming to you and telling you that he's antisocial, then he's either a hermit by intelligence (like how I am), called that by some bully, or picked it up somewhere and is looking for attention.
If he's a hermit by intelligence (HbI), let him do his own thing. Encourage him to join groups that he likes, because maybe then he can find other HbIs that he can chat with. Letting him sit on the computer forever is not a good thing (It's what I did). There are some very addicting games out there that can take over your life.
If he was called that by someone at school, they were probably making fun of him sitting on his own somewhere. I know I like my solitude every now and then, and the kids during that time of life didn't appreciate it. It might be nothing, or it might mean that he is antisocial.
He might have heard it somewhere and is trying to see if it will bother you. I don't have any thoughts about how to work with children that are reaching out for attention by giving themselves issues.
In conclusion, let him do his own thing, but if he says it again, ask him, 'So what do you want me to do?' then offer things. Things like, throwing a party, taking him to see soccer/football/baseball games (or other event) with a friend(s).
Better to think you're antisocial and have 3 people you can trust than think you're social and have 20 people who know you.

Answer 4

Your son is not anti-social. He's painfully shy. I have seen grownups crippled socially, professionally, and personally by it. It's a debilitating disorder and is being debated by the psychiatric community. Do NOT try to make him interact if he doesn't want to. For him, it only reinforces his flaw. Some professional help would not only be helpful at this stage, but would be a trememdous benefit in his adult years. Every state in the US offers mental health services; the fee is based on your income. The social worker at a local hospital would help you in locating these services. Bless you for noticing this problem and trying to get help for him. Good Luck to both of you...

Answer 5

maybe your son has social anxiety disorder. i have it myself, and i know my 10 year old daughter has it. there are medications for it that will help. on the other hand if your son just wants to be antisocial there is not much you can do. its all up to him.

Answer 6

Ask him to say hi to anyone who is nice to him. He is not anti-social; he is just shy. I see some kids who are shy before, like I had seen a Chinese girl been shy before. Anyways, if this is not the case, you can talk to his doctor immediately. But otherwise he should be fine.

Answer 7

try to improve his personality
for example he feel like u do everything for him
he feel like when he say anything u say " stop talking u r wrong"
as u keep say to him dont talk u still child
he feel that no one listen to him and he need people to encourage him
like waaaaw u r smart boy what a cute idea
or can we share u opinion about something
try to talk to him more and more
and also from the family
then to his friends then to other people then to public

Answer 8

why do you care one way or the other if your son talks to people. He is obviously smarter than you and already knows how stupid people are and chooses not to speak to the idiots. Leave him alone he has the right idea.

Answer 9

I'm 11 and I hate to talk to people. Even adults.

It's not there there not of my age, butr there just dumb people.

I like to discuss world topics, like the deal with Iraq, but no one my age, or even teenagers know most of that subject.

Answer 10

Get him out of his shell and explore things that he likes. Then he will open up. Your son can't be a hermit forever you know.