My brother and sister-n-law live about 2 blocks from me.We have alot of our family get togethers at his house. There is a 15 yr. boy that lives between our houses, and he likes to hang our with my brother and husband, cause they go hunting and fishing and he likes to do that too. He is always at my brothers house, even showing up at our family get togethers, like Thanksgiving and birthday parties. He even showed up at my daughters 1st birthday party, uninvited! Well, of course, he showed up at our family Christmas dinner yesterday. I asked him why he wasn't with his parents on Christmas day, and he said that they had already opened gifts and were going to eat later in the day. I kept thinking that sooner or later he would leave and let us have a family get together, but nope, he fixed himself a plate and hung around while we opened gifts. I thought this was so rude! He wasn't invited, he just showed up. It is not like this kid comes from a bad home, and just needs attention.
2006-12-26 04:25:50 · 14 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The reason I know he wasn't invited was because I asked my sister-n-law about it, and she said "You know how Josh is, he doesn't have to be invited." It would be different if I thought this was a kid who had a bad home life, but his parents go to our church and live right behind us. He is not an abused child, his dad just doesn't hunt and since my brother and husband do, he wants to always be with them. I just can not believe that at this age, he doesn't realize how rude it is to butt in on someones family Christmas celebration, like it is just any other day where. My brother of course is not going to say anything to him, cause he doesn't get as into the "family" thing as I do.
2006-12-26 04:30:06 · update #1
I really don't believe that it is because he doesn't feel accepted at his families. And if my brother wanted this kid to come to his house, I wouldn't care, except on days when I expected it to be a family holiday, like Christmas or Thanksgiving. I remember being this age, and I know that alot of teens would rather be with anyone else but their own parents, but when it comes to a family get together, I think that simple manners should come into place. I am tempted to suggest that all family get togethers from now on be done at my moms house, even though it is an hour away, just so it can be our family and not this teenager who just wants to come over eat a meal, play video games, and goof off with my brother and husband. I personally wouldn't allow my son to butt in on someones holiday celebration like that.
2006-12-26 04:48:52 · update #2
Could someone please explain to me, how wanting to just be with my "family" on Christmas day, and not the kid down the street, makes me so horrible? This kid is at every single other get together, GOD FORBID me want to have a few hours on Christmas day with just my family. At 15 yrs. old I thought everyone else's parents were cooler and funner than my own, but that didn't mean that my parents were doing something wrong, or that I had a bad home life, or even one that was lacking something. If my brother wanted to let this kid come over on Christmas day, then that is his choice, but all I wanted was about 3 hours with just my immediate family, without the annoying teenager down the street. This kid tries to act like a grown up, cusing, smoking, snatching a beer when he thinks no one is looking. He isn't looking for buddies, (he has friends) he wants to be considered one of the "Older guys". Its like the neighbor kid who never goes home. Sooner or later you have to send them back home.
2006-12-26 05:01:45 · update #3
It is rude, but unless your brother and SIL are going to say something, there's nothing that can done except you hosting stuff at your house. That way, you can control the situation.
2006-12-26 04:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by alimagmel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holidays are not about being selfish but about being nice, he didnt do anything to ruin your party like break things or be rude to other family members, did he. Maybe he doesnt have any brothers or sisters and is just lonely, he is a kid. There are more things in life to be worried about then an extra person at your christmas party.
2006-12-26 06:44:14 · answer #2 · answered by aries6604 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said he goes hunting and fishing with your husband and brother.....so he has a male "buddy" by them taking him fishing....If he is an only child, no wonder he likes to be around your family.....I would take that as a compliment that your the kind of people that others can't be.....When he is a grown man, he will remember ya'll with fond memories, and maybe the kid down the block where he lives, when he has a family of his own, he will be ok with the kid getting a plate of "FOOD", and not flip out over it.....
2006-12-26 04:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this boy doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere in his family. His home life isn't necessarily great because his parents go to your church. It sounds like he is a boy who feels like he is more accepted at your brother's house than at his own house.
My feeling is that if it doesn't bother your brother and your sister-in-law that he comes there then you should keep your feelings about it to yourself. The holidays are about coming together with people in general, not necessarily family. It sounds like in a sense he is a part of your family...
My sister has people in and out of her house all of the time between her kids' friends and her own friends. It is just considered acceptable to them and it's how they live. I think everyone's different in terms of their privacy needs. It is kind of your brother and husband to give him that sense of belonging. If he needs attention then he doesn't have a great home life...
2006-12-26 04:39:06 · answer #4 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you seem to be the one with the problem. He is at your brother and sister in law's house and they do not mind. Your SIL even said he doesn't need an invitation.
Why do you care so much?? Is this kid bothering you in some way? Is he acting inappropriate?
Your brother and husband have taken him under their wing a little bit and he probably sees them as older brother figures.
Remember family is what you make it. Maybe he sees your brother's home as his second home and your brother doesn't seem to mind.
Get over it.
2006-12-26 06:07:47 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥ Nikki ♥♥ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like he is lonely and really likes your family. If your brother doesn't care then I don't know why u do.I don't think it's rude for family and friends to get together for Xmas. There is something going on at his home that u don't know about or he would be at home. Your brother is helping someone so I would let it go.
2006-12-26 04:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO YOU ARE THE RUDE ONE!!!
You must not have any friends. After a while when you have goods ones they turn into family. I grew up on a block were all our families were one. I could go next door and go in the fridge and eat or dink anything, I could answer the phone or just go get in there bed.They could do the same at my house too. We love each other and are all like brothers and sister. Too bad you never experience that CRUELLA
2006-12-26 06:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is rude and I know how you feel we have had people like that hanging around our family before. No one in our family ever said anything to them but some of us didn't like it either. We just let them come join our family. Slowy these people just started dropping out of sight later and we did not see them for a long time. If you want to say something to him you can but what can you say, just let him hang around he just wishes he was part of your family.
2006-12-26 04:47:29 · answer #8 · answered by justmmez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a shame that you feel the way you do, because it seems so simple, this boy thinks of all of you as family. when did family ever have to be invited? - the door is always open. he may have his own family, but i bet he thinks of your husband and brother as his big brothers. try to accept him - you are helping him to become a good man by having your husband and brother as his mentors and this is a very, very good thing.
2006-12-26 04:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give the kid a break, he's hanging around where he's wanted. Your brother and husband are good role models for him. Is that so bad?
2006-12-26 04:44:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋