I'm 26Indian & his 35white.His CFO of a big company.We ve been secretly dating cuz one of the executives is racist but is retiring may 2007.He has an opportunity of being 1 of the top 3 executives.He is being trained for the top job.He says,he will miss this opportunity if the boss finds out about us.There's a guy in his company who hasn't been promoted because his married to a black woman.I understand him wanting to get ahead but this has been going on for a year.I DON'T think his cheating, SEX IS STILL GREAT, i ve keys to his house,i spend everynight with him, i ve unlimited access to his funds and keys to all his cars & he proposed this thanksgiving.i ve met his family.I DON'T go to company parties with him.1 of my white friends poses as his g/friend for company parties & business trips to europe.He says we ll go public when the boss retires.I NOW THINK MY friend who poses as his girl wants my man.She talks about him with excitement.what should i do? what do you think is going on?
2006-12-26 04:04:46 · 34 answers · asked by Jen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would love to help the only thing i say is u deserve better
2006-12-26 04:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by zerocool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From all you say he is telling you the truth. If he asked you to marry him, given you access to all things you say he has, and sleep with him every night, he has to be committed to you.
Now your girlfriend is another thing. One would like to think that no matter what she does he will be faithful to you. But women can fool a guy so very easily.
If he is at the level he is in his company he should have at the very least some integrity. Not a garentee but he should. If so he will not be telling you he loves you and having an affair with her at the same time.
You say your with him every night. Are there other times....except for parties....they could be together? If you can't think of any you may be just fine.
Talk to this so called friend. Tell her that this is your man and she better leave him alone. If you still don't get a good feeling then talk to him. The last thing you want to do is be the last one to know about them. You have to know that having a woman he doesn't'
t have to hide that he may be attracted to is a very strong pull.
Get to the bottom of it now.
2006-12-26 04:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you he does not enable his choose for promoting over-journey you. he's about the money and status. you're in 2d position and also you in many circumstances will be. that is a chance that your "chum" and him have somewhat some thing occurring the area, yet he's already married to his pastime and his money besides. This chum of yours is extra reachable for him because he may be seen publicly with him. Even after his boss retires, a employer like this would basically have some different person which will create the same complications for you. Do your self a want and get out of this difficulty beforehand you're in too deep and get your heart broke even worse. you do not favor to positioned your self interior the midst of a collection of racists.
2016-12-01 04:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Find another friend to pose as his girlfriend; he can tell work that he split with the last one. He could always take a sister or his mother with him if it is imperative that he has a partner with him on social evenings.
or
2) tell him that he is 'splitting' with his pseudo girlfriend - tell her she will not be needed anymore; if she doesn't like it then tough - and for the next 6 months (Note it is only 6 months and many people go longer than that without dating)he will have to go to company parties alone or with his sister or mother, however you will be going on business trips with him although he can go to any related parties on his own while you sight see.
and
3) Tell him that on 1st June you expect to be taken out where he knows some of his work colleagues are sure to be NO EXCUSES; you have put up with this long enough.
Having said all of this I am concerned that he is apparently putting the possibilty of promotion before a full relationship with you (though I understand his difficulty) if his boss is as racist as he says). What if he didn't get promoted anyway? Maybe he likes this kind of 'double life' he is leading.
If he is not happy with this or starts to come up with excuses why he still needs this girls as cover then dump him and feel free to show him this answer.
By the way you might want to improve your writing skills as you might need them if this relationship lasts. (e.g. He's not his; I not i)
Good luck
2006-12-26 04:23:03 · answer #4 · answered by D B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its time for everyone at this company to know about the both of you. Why wait till his boss retires? You think that everything will be just fine when his boss will retire? Maybe not, you can never know what could happen. If he doesn't want anyone to know and he continues showing off your friend maybe he's not serious enough about you. Don't let him treat you like this, you deserve to be shown off in all parties. Demand for this. Don't make him do that to you. Otherwise, dump him. Its better to shred the tears now than later.
2006-12-29 06:53:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, keep the white friend away from him for a while. Secondly, if he doesn't get a promotion because of the racism at work, he should sue the company. It's none of their business who he's dating.
However, if everything else in your life is normal maybe you could hang in there just a little while longer and try to understand the situation. It sounds like he loves you, and it won't be much longer.
2006-12-26 04:17:02 · answer #6 · answered by brown_iyed_grrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is just something wrong with this story. We all know, with the exception of you, that it is against Federal Law to dabble with employer/employee discrimination. I'm also willing to bet that the 'executive' you know the racist one is aware of it as well. All that common sense aside lets get to the real deal. SInce you refused to tell us the truth, I'll give you 2 options.
1) you are really 15 or 16 and dating interracially, and your daddy doesn't like it.
or
2) you watch to much TV. And since Ricki Lake no longer comes on you needed to create drama by fabricating a sensational story about a love triangle.
How does this make you feel?
2006-12-26 04:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by mumra_06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This all doesn't sound right to me. I'm black and my husband is white and he has a very professional job. I would have NEVER married my husband if he couldn't show me off to his co-workers. No excuses. I would rather be with a man that isn't getting promoted than to be with a man that's living a lie. What's next? Is he going to come out of the closet and tell you he's gay? Let your white girlfriend have him because he doesn't love you. So what if you have keys to his home. What does that mean if you're being hidden?
2006-12-26 04:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by Inez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is getting too close to that friend. Choose a different friend for him to pose as his friend. Make it an ugly Betty. I don't understand why he has to keep you a secret.... It is nobodies business what his personal life is. Make him set an earlier date or dump him. Although May 2007 isn't that long to wait. Tell him you want to be a June bride and take no excuses. It is against the law for the company to be predigest..
2006-12-26 04:12:56 · answer #9 · answered by ruth4526 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So basically, from the sound of it, it's his money and the sex you like...
I highly doubt his career would be stunted by having an Indian gf...as the other guy said, these times are PC times, and anything out of the ordinary is smiled upon. There's something else fishy going on and you're buying his story just as everything else he's bought for you.
I'd say get out, but I know money and sex aren't passed up by any woman, so I may as well just say enjoy while it lasts....and don't expect me to lend my shoulder for you to cry on when things blow up in your face, because the writing on the wall is right there before you.
2006-12-26 04:35:12 · answer #10 · answered by someguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well business has to be business sounds as if he truly loves you and if you make each other happy then whats another few months it shouldn't even bother you what his coworker thinks because when its all said and done you still got your man and he loves you and that should be all that matters. if people know or not its not going to change anything you not going to get a million dollars or have stars fallen out the sky so just let go and just be happy. as far as the girl goes that need to stop quick k before it gets out of control and she tries to stab you in the back or even worse black male both of you. you don't want her to get too comfortable because after a while she wont want to leave. so all i can say let him handle his business he needs you support and that what you need to do support him all the other stuff is not important long as you both know the truth in your hearts that should be all that matters because your with each otherr not dating the world so just leave that issue alone for now and before you know it everything will work itself out. you said so yourself about the othe guy and the blk women do you really want him to mess his career up o when its all be resolved in a few months? think bout is it worth it?
2006-12-26 04:15:52 · answer #11 · answered by butta77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋