I'm 26Indian & his 35white.His CFO of a big company.We ve been secretly dating cuz one of the executives is racist but is retiring may 2007.He has an opportunity of being 1 of the top 3 executives.He is being trained for the top job.He says,he will miss this opportunity if the boss finds out about us.There's a guy in his company who hasn't been promoted because his married to a black woman.I understand him wanting to get ahead but this has been going on for a year.I DON'T think his cheating, SEX IS STILL GREAT, i ve keys to his house,i spend everynight with him, i ve unlimited access to his funds and keys to all his cars & he proposed this thanksgiving.i ve met his family.I DON'T go to company parties with him.1 of my white friends poses as his g/friend for company parties & business trips to europe.He says we ll go public when the boss retires.I NOW THINK MY friend who poses as his girl wants my man.She talks about him with excitement.what should i do? what do you think is going on?
2006-12-26 03:59:20 · 17 answers · asked by Jen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Listen Janet,
I truly think this man loves you. He comes home to you everynight and has given you unlimited access to money, that is not something he would do if he did not care about you. I can tell he make alot of money in his current position. MOST IMPORTANTLY HE ASKED FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE that means, you mean alot to him. I also think he knows that you maybe doubting his intentions, so he proposed to you to prove how much he wants to be with you. You have held on for one year, it's just five months to go. You obviously love him otherwise you would not put up with this. I also think you are a great woman and you are not after his money because you would not put up with SUCH A SHITY AND VERY PAINFUL SECRET and he maybe has noticed that quality in. You are standing by your man like a rock. It's sad that in this day and age people are still racist but hey what can we do.. Hold on to your man, it's just five months away.
BAD NEWS
I think that your man is sleeping with your SO CALLED friend although he loves. You are the one who allowed this to happen. You gave them the opportunity to cheat. Yes your friend is excited about your man because they are going to Europe and companies parties. She wants to be you. Put a stop to that FAKE g/friend **** and let him go alone. Most women would take your man. She is not your friend end the communication with her as soon as Possible before she becomes his Wife.
2006-12-26 08:01:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As far as the promotion thing, I'm sure he doesn't want o pass that up and once he's promoted he can take you there and show you off! That'll leave eggs all over people's faces! And as far as your best friend, she is not truly a friend if she acts on her feelings, and maybe she can't help posing as a gf for too long considering they are at these parties together all the time. Talk with both of them about this.
2016-05-23 07:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop the secret crap immediately. If your man loves u, it would not matter what color u are.
This boss stuff is a bunch of crap. He is putting his boss man before u, and that aint cool at all.
Tell the friend that is posing as his GF to get out of the picture.
U will from now on go to any of his parties and be proud of yourself and your relationship with him.
Dont let this foolishness get in the way another day.
This raciest thing is crap, that has long gone extinct these days, by the way his boss man may love u for u , not what race u are.
If he is ashame of your race , then he needs to get a grip on life.
Dont let your boyfriend, your friend get all your powers.
Speak up, step up and stop worrying. Stop the secret crap.
Life is like a coin, u spend it once on this planet,
Tell your boyfriend to get a grip on reality, love is skin deep ,
2006-12-26 04:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is going on trips with the guy you aren't his only woman. I would put an end to that straight away. As far as the other goes you've already waited a year what's a few more months. If he doesn't go public after that I say spend all the money you can and get the hell out of there.
2006-12-26 04:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a situation! I feel for you. Ask yourself if you really want someone who would use you for his own gain. I think this is what he is doing to you. I felt that when he uses a white girlfriend of yours to go to parties!!! No way---he could go alone out of respect to you. IF you are so in love with this person that you can't see any other way, give him till June 2007. IF you are not his public girlfriend at that time, be ready to walk away -- and let him know that is going to happen. Good luck.
2006-12-26 04:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a career is involved, things get tricky. At the same time, if he is over 35, and keeps waiting to go public, then he's got some committment issues. My question is why does he need your friend to pose as his girlfriend at parties and business trips???? (especially the business trips part) If she is posing as his girlfriend what does that mean to him or her? Is she flirtatious? Do they hug/kiss at these occassions. Get rid of a man who keeps you a secret for a year!
2006-12-26 04:04:57 · answer #6 · answered by Lilly Jones-Fair 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but he is using you. I could understand about having a racist boss; I have been there. But not meeing his family??? If you just met them for the first time, they will probably think that the two of you just met. Has your faimly met him?
I was married to a VIP, and we worked at the same place. It start out very causal, I invited him to a church program. We talked to each other everyday at work, and it was a year later that we went on a date. One thing lead to another, we decided to not tell anyone at work. One year later we decided to get married.
Our complex had two thousand people working there. I mailed out inviting to ten people at work on a Thursday, and by Monday we were the talk of the company. The ladies at work give me that hardest time at first because they wanted him. The guys were cool.
Two weeks later another VIP stopped me in the hallway. He said I want to ask you something very personal. My heart went to my stomach because I had no idea what he was going to say. He said that he had been dating his secretary (he was white and she was black). He wanted to know if the word got out, what would happen to his job? I told him sometimes in life we have to make choices, and be willing to suffer the consequence of our action. There will always be jobs, but there might not be another person like your current love.
By the time that we got married, several people were coming out of the closet with their relationship. Six months later, the other VIP announced that they got married in Las Vegas.
Life is too short to wait for someone else to decide if they are willing to step up to the plate for you.
Your friend would be my ex-friend, because it is obvious that she has the hots for him??
2006-12-26 04:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by D S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should hang in there until his boss retire. You have access to everything, you have met his family. You have this mutual agreement that has worked so far so just wait. Your only option is to wait. I'm glad you understand that he works hard and has earned this promotion. He should not be passed over because of who he loves. He proposed to you!! As far as the "Poser" she needs to know that you are just as excited about your man as she is. She may need her own mild reality check, ask her if she's dating anyone for "real" since her relationship with your spouse to be is just for show. (Be polite and tactful of-course but it must be done)
2006-12-26 04:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he's a player...I mean why does he take your white friend with him on company parties and take her to trips (they r spending the night together in the hotel as gf and bf, right?)...let him go as a bachelor...anyway, I think he's using you, for sex and pleasure, if he really loved you he wouldn't give a **** about his job, he could get another one somewhere else.
my advice, have fun with him and spend his money WISELY while it lasts, and don't plan your future with him, just live evry day ...
2006-12-26 04:07:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he should grow some gonads! How is the world ever going to change when the people who are allies of minorities won't confront racism? Besides, he's got a great lawsuit if that's the reason he can't get ahead...
2006-12-26 04:03:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋