my bf of of 6 yrs have been engaged for 2 yrs.he has a huge debt (25k)from his first marrage that he is trying to pay off.we have been trying to save up to get married for the last 2 yrs.i don't want to sound like a evil stepmom but we just spent over 300 hundred on his son for x-mas.his son wanted a motorcycle for x-mas along with many other things but did not get it.we told him we would get him one next x-mas.now my bf's exwife has convinced him to go in half on a motorcycle with her which would be about 200 dollars.200 dollars right after x-mas is alot for us.my bf said he will take it from his bonus check he got but i feel he should put that money towards his debt or our wedding.my bf was big in motorcycle racing as a kid and he really wants to get his son into it too.am i wrong to feel this way?
2006-12-26 01:41:44 · 15 answers · asked by karenmackhjui89 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your not wrong to feel that way. However depending on if you are living together and he is supporting you depends on the answer if he should or not. If he is then why wait to get married? It doesn't cost that much to get married. Why does he have to save for it? Do you have stipulations before you get married?
2006-12-26 01:53:28 · answer #1 · answered by dana j 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say that it isn't worth the worry or the arguements. He loves his son and he should do this if this is what he wants to do. I think that you are right in principle however, let it go sister. He needs to do this for his son he believes. Don't be the thorn in the smelly rose. Seriously, it is only $200 dollars and will delay the payoff of the debt or towards your wedding just a little. It really isn't worth the headache and the hard feelings. Give the child your blessings and make sure he has a helmet!!!! If you take part in this your husband will be forever grateful and have nothing to come back at you with in heated arguements. It's only $200. Go get a second job or sell some of the stuff your husband or you don't use anymore on Ebay to help defray the cost.
7 years old is a good age to start riding motorcycles. He will be more experienced and safer when he is a teen.
2006-12-26 01:47:42 · answer #2 · answered by amazedmaize 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I say that it's not rather well worth the subject or the arguements. He loves his son and he ought to try this if this is what he desires to do. i think of which you're precise in theory despite the fact that, enable it pass sister. He needs to try this for his son he believes. don't be the thorn interior the pungent rose. heavily, this is barely $2 hundred funds and could postpone the payoff of the debt or in the direction of your wedding ceremony in straightforward terms a sprint. this is not rather well worth the headache and the tricky thoughts. provide the youngster your advantages and make constructive he has a helmet!!!! in case you take part in this your husband would be continuously grateful and have no longer something to return decrease back at you with in heated arguements. this is in straightforward terms $2 hundred. pass get a 2nd interest or sell the particularly some stuff your husband or you do no longer use anymore on Ebay to help defray the value. 7 years previous is a good age to start using motorcycles. he would be extra matured and safer while he's an adolescent.
2016-11-23 17:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Statistically, 75% of all divorced people who remarry wind up divorced again (article in Newark Star Ledger within the past year or so). You have been strung along for 2 years now. Another major expense looks like a perfect excuse to play out some more string. Why don't you tell him that's just fine, but you want to run downtown and get a marriage license pronto and get hitched by the Justice of the Peace. Won't cost much even as much as a halfway decent motorcycle helmet. If he doesn't want to, maybe you need to re-evaluate your long term prospects with this person. Next excuse will be the doctor bills that pile up when Junior messes up on his bike.
2006-12-26 02:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by jhartmann21 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it is simply not worth the arguements. He loves his son and he should do this if this is what he wants to do. He needs to do this for his son he believes. Seriously, it is only $200 dollars and will delay the payoff of the debt or towards your wedding just a wee bit. It really isn't worth the arguments and the hard feelings. If you take part in this your husband will be forever grateful and remember this act of kindness for his son. It's only 200 bucks and that too for a child. Either you or your husband get a second job or sell something you don't need anymore.
2006-12-26 15:29:28 · answer #5 · answered by hoshedarm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. if you want this relationship to work you have to back him up on this, and anything that has to do with his child. i know it's alot of money but, if the mother is willing to go 1/2 then i think it's only fair. you 2 can always get married, but his son will not always be a child. this is something important to your husband, and his son. kind of like a bonding thing so let them do it. if you are so concerned with all the money you've spent on his other gifts, then why don't you ask your man if you could take some of those gifts back? be very careful about this subject though. any man i have ever had in my life must follow this simple rule "love me, love my children" if i did not feel like it was worth it after a month they would not meet my kids, and they would be out of my life.
2006-12-26 01:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People tend to over compensate with their kids now a day.
Your b/f is not good with finances and that is something you need to think hard and long about before getting married to him.
25K in debt doesn't all come from buying stuff for his kid.
He needs to learn responsibility with money.
I think the real issue is the statement that you think your fiance' is making. You think by him buying yet another gift it makes it even more difficult to afford that wedding you want. You see his excessive spending as his way of putting you and what you want last on his list of priorities.
2006-12-26 06:28:58 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥ Nikki ♥♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he got a late start, on of my employees just purchased a snomobile for his 3 yr old son. I think this is a perfectly reasonable decision for a intelegent male who enjoys motor sports. No need to worry.
PS Good luck with the marriage
2006-12-26 01:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by Latex 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well I'm sure you could force him to spend it where you want him to but what would that prove. it wouldn't make him feel very good and it would push you and him a little bit apart. its a lose lose for you. You signed on with a man who has prior commitments witch will force you to take a back seat sometimes, sucks but that's what you got. I fully understand how you feel but its ganna happen to you more in the future too. think about this before you go through with the marriage may not be all your looking for.
2006-12-26 01:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by insomniman1 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell your Bf to shut the hell up! Man, the guy has 25k debt and his EX wife is telling him to spend more!?? With that 200 dollars, he could pay some of the debt and lower the interest rate significantly! Tell your bf to grow up!!
His Exwife , look at the keyword "EX" doesn't care because she isn't with him anymore. Do you think she cares if you can't get a wedding!?!?
2006-12-26 01:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by Webballs 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋