Dont you agree my parents broke my trust?

Question

I'm 13, good student, never got in any serious trouble. About 2 months ago I got to know some other kids. They keep inviting me to do bad stuff, like drinking and even worse things. It seems some of my real friends are giving in to those guys and keep also keep telling me to do that stuff. Frankly, I almost gave in to peer pressure and got scared. So, I talked to my parents, I used to trust them, and told them everything, even that a few times I was weak and was about to give in to peer pressure. They got kinda worried, congratulated me on my honesty, but told me to leave those guys and now are controlling me much more than before. I complained, told them I just asked for help, trusted them and got grounded, punished. They said No way, this is no punishment at all, you're a great kid, said they are happy I trusted them and just want to protect me. Dd said they just want to make me stronger and wiser. But actually, I feel punished. It's like asking a friend's help and gettiing slapped

I'm a good kid and don't deserve to be punished. I learned not to trust my parents

Answer 1

I don't think they broke your trust in anyway. I think they may be over reacting yes. Talk to them. Tell them you want things back the way they used to be that they trusted you then and they can still trust you that when ever there is a problem like that you will come and talk to them like you did before that the only way your going to get stronger and wiser is to learn that you feel they are holding you back from growing up.

Answer 2

They didn’t break your trust....no one deceived anyone. What they are doing is trying to protect you from the peer pressures and not really realizing that even though you were weak a few times...you still had the respect and honesty they always wanted you to have and talked to them. They were right to tell you stay away from the kids...you should have known that answer yourself as well.

No one can change how you feel...you are still going to feel like you are punished. but I promise you as you get older you will be glad your parents did this...I promise! I have been there and unfortunately I didn’t trust my mom at all and chose not to go to her like you did with your parents. Now that I am 30...I wished that I had. My life would have turned out a lot different.

Your parents are doing the best they know how and you have to trust them. Don’t "complain" to them...talk to them just as you did about the pressures and explain to them how you feel then ask them if there is another way to help make you stronger and wiser without you feeling like you are punished. If you just talk to them everything can be worked out so everyone gets what they want and need.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 3

Well good for you for not caving in! It shows integrity and character. As for your parents, they're probably a little freaked out. You know those scenarios that are played over in over in school that you think "That will never happen to me."? Well, drugs being layed out before your child is sort of in the same caliber. Your parents feel that they did a great job raising you, but now they are worried about an unknown element they must protect you from. They may not have realized in their morning mutterings about the drug problem in the area how close to home it really was until you brought it up. That does not however, make it fair that they've tightened their grip on you. Make activities and plans with other friends, because you really should stay away from the ones doing the drugs, and give your parents all the info they want. Ask for a cell phone, or borrow theirs, this way they can reach you at any time. Other than that, talking to them again and again, may be what it takes. They should give you the benefit of the doubt until you've proven otherwise. Good luck!!

Answer 4

Don't ever stop trusting your parents ,,,, You can't understand how they feel because you aren't a parent yet ,,,, When you are you'll understand it allot better but that's a long way off and you are dealing with the way you are feeling now ,,,,, The only thing you can do for now is to just try to keep talking to them about this ,,,,, Tell them that now you feel like you are being punished instead of protected ,,,, That if you were going to do these things then you'd have never told them about it in the first place ,,,,, Tell them that if they expect you to trust them then you feel that they should display more trust in you ,,,,, Ask them if it isn't a two way street or if it doesn't work both ways ,,,, It's not easy to be a parent especially this day and age ,,,, Believe it or not they are just trying to protect you and nothing else ,,,, I'm sure they are very proud of you for going to them about this in the first place ,,,,, Just believe that they would never do anything or tell you anything that would hurt you ,,,,, Think about all of this ,,,, and remember this situation for when you have children ,,,,,, You'll see then what your parents are going through now ,,,,, But just for now ,,,, Just keep a line of commmunication open and continue to talk to them but always continue to trust them ,,,, In a way you should maybe feel lucky ,,,,, Do you know how many kids your age wish they had parents like yours ,,,, There are allot of people with kids that just turn them loose with out any supervision at all and let them fend for themselves ,,,, You can read about them any time in the head lines ,,,, They are the ones that wind up dead because of an overdose ,,,, They are the ones that wind up taking guns to school and killing other innocent kids ,,,, Or how about that young innocent 12 year old girl they found ,,,, raped ,,,, dead ,,,, and or mutilated in a ditch five miles out of town along a lonely stretch of road ,,,, They are the ones that are arrested
for attempted armed robbery of a drug store or a liquor store ,,,, That's right ,,,, You can read about them most any day ,,,, So you just might kind of keep an eye on the kids that you know are doing these things that you told your parents about ,,,, You might judge by their example what your parents are worried about where you are concerned ,,,, But still the whole thing boils down to mutual trust between you and your parents ,,,, Just always understand that they are concerned for you ,,,, They are just tring to protect you ,,,, Never stop trusting them ,,,,, You'll feel better for it later on ,,,,,,

Answer 5

Actually, your Parents are doing you a "favor" by taking the peer pressure off of you!

If you dont associate with your "so called" friends, then you wont be tempted to get into trouble.. (since you already told them you were tempted...even though you didnt do it, the temptation was there and you might succumb the next time)... This makes it easier for you to be secured in not being in jail or doing some one great bodily harm or yourself...

Later on in life, when you become a Parent, you will understand, but, at the moment, your "involved" so you cant see the "big picture"!

Trust your Parents... They have your best interest in heart. They wouldnt steer you wrong, and it seems to me that they are some very loving Parents indeed! You should count your blessings to have wonderful Parents who care enough about you, to do this, knowing that its going to make you angry at them, and they are still willing to make the sacrafice to keep you safe from yourself!

As a Parent, I can understand them, and I applaud thier actions... Your so very lucky to have them.

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 6

I believe you. Your parents are frightened. And I think they are worried that eventually with too much exposure to the crowd, you will run out of grit (for the good fight). So, maybe you should all have a change of pace. I don't think you are grounded from some really good healthy activities. Why not go with the family and do some things you all like to get back on track. Go bowling, have a night of rented movies and popcorn. Play a board game you all like, such as Parcheesi. Talk about how to get in with a good crowd.
Tell them they need to trust you to do the right thing. But remember that you need to find a place where good people are in your corner. Maybe a church youth group or a club where you can pursue an interest like rock climbing. Pray to God and ask the angels to guide you and your family to the right answers together. No man is an island.

Answer 7

Nope.Your Parents Did Do A Good Job. By Doin That.. Yu Wont Gave Up In Peer Pressure and Will Forget About It. SO Dont Think Your Parents Did This On Purpose . If yu grow up .. you'll no y =]

Answer 8

I have a little adult secret to share.
It's hard to be a parent and it's scary at times.
We want what's best for our children (or in your case, young people growing towards adulthood and facing challenges about peer groups and relationships) and we want to protect you and help you make good choices, almost to a fault. Even to the point where at times, we control and cause resentment with the very young people we're trying to protect.
I want to applaud you for making the right choice. You did the right thing in both NOT going along with the peer group AND in telling your parents what happened. That's a rare thing and something that is very special.
I think you need to go back to your parents and tell them how you're feeling about what they're doing and that they're out of balance with the controls. Work it through with them and listen. You'll hear their concerns and fears. Find the way to satisfy their concerns as your parents (they are entitled to know where you are what you're doing) and give them the respect and feedback they deserve to assure them. You'll find you'll get more of what you want by acting responsibly and showing you respect what they're saying.
I also would like you to think a bit about your peers and who you really admire as a friend (or friends) and want to hang around and spend time with. Those choices really do matter and they have a profound impact on how you view yourself and the world around you. I learned at a very young age that I wanted to be around people that were positive, driven to achieve, and focused on making the world a better place.
My best to you. Merry Christmas! :)

Answer 9

I dont' think they broke your trust, I think they are trying to help you by getting you away from that peer pressure that you are going to come closer and closer to giving into every time you are around them. I think they are good parents and understand what is going on better than you do. I know you may feel punished, but really it's a gift.

Answer 10

The way I see it is that your parents are giving you support. Trust me, your parents gave you a way to tell these people no (when they ask you to do stuff that will get you in trouble) without having to look like your scared. It's a great tool when they try and force you to do something you don't want to. You can always say "Nah, I'm not doing that, my parent's will so find out and ground me forever...." Your a good kid because your parents did their job right and you obviously trust and value their opinion because you went to them for advice. Don't stop doing that!!! Your on the right track in life and you have your PARENTS to thank for that... :)