I am getting married??!!?

Question

well
I am getting married with the man I love. we plan to married the summer of 2007, But the problem is he wants to stay with me in my parents house. for the first year of marriage. because we ganna spend a lot of many in the wedding day. my parent seems to agree with it. because they don't have nobody except me. and they ganna have an empty room. my BF tell me rather paying thousand of Dallars. in apartement now.. why don't we stay with ur parents. and helped them with same money.. until we saved money and get our apartment. becouse we are young.. and I pay for my school... But I don't.know..do u guys think its great idea. for young people??!!

Answer 1

nooooooo.....I think you should wait until you can be financially independant before you get married.....good luck

Answer 2

The first year of marriage is vital for growing a healthy marriage. The first year can determine what will can in the next 10 years or more. I have thought about that as well but then I changed my mind. Yes, it can help you financially but what about the two of you, you will never really have the privacy you need and desire. You need to sit down with him, and tell him how you feel about living there and believe me you don't your parents to become a part of your marriage. Maybe it can be ok for a couple of months but a whole year? No way, you would regret it. Who's helping you pay for the wedding? if its just the two of you paying than consider a very simple wedding, and try investing in a home to live in after you marry. Its not worth spending thougsands of dollars for a couple of hours of fun. Its better to be wise about it and save up more for your first home. Good luck!

Answer 3

Hmmm... it depends on the size of the house and what your parents are like. If you get on well with them then everything should be fine. From the parent side it's the little things like tidying up after a meal, doing the washing up, not leaving a mess after you. If you don't do those little things they'll end up wanting rid of you both.

From your perspective it's just the usual problems of living at home. Sometimes if you're living with your parents you don't feel like a young free individual, you might not feel free to go out, or to do whatever you want in the house. Throwing parties, watching films until the early morning, whatever you like to do with your weekends, it's less fun if you feel that you're stressing your parents out. If you and your parents have a strong relationship and they get on well with your boyfriend it should be fine.

I lived with a girlfriend and my parents for about 3 months. It was OK but not ideal. 3 months definitely felt like long enough and we were ready to move out. I think the 6 month thing is a decent compromise (especially if it means you get the wedding of your dreams) and it might encourage you to save more money to get your own place sooner rather than later.

Good luck. Have a great wedding and I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 4

My husband and I stayed with his parents for 4 months before we were married and 2 months after we were married. We were trying to save money as we handled the bulk expenses on the wedding; this was the only the only alternative to do it quickly. IT WORKED! It is also a lot less stressful while you are planning and paying for a wedding as well. His parents were great! Do what's best for the 2 of you girl.

Answer 5

dont listen to number 1! omg girl your gettin married?. dammm i cant wait until that happens to me. ok well if you really love him. than hes worth all this. and its a GREAT idea to live with your parents. just stay ther for a few months. a year if you have to. but after that you can start looking for an apartment on your own.it doesnt need to be a big one. just big enough for the two of you and if you decide to have a baby. but dont tell him that you want a house right now! thats the wrong thing to do. just stay with your parents because if you force him to buy an apartment when you both dont have enough money. either way you will be sent back to your parents house lol. good luck

Answer 6

Not a good idea. Spend less on the wedding. If you have a private entrance and live on your own floor, it may be OK, but otherwise, I'd say, get an apartment you can afford and tough it out for the first year.

Answer 7

You shouldn't spend out of your means... If you don't even have the money to live on your own, you shouldn't have a huge wedding. Get married outside someplace beautiful and FREE!! Skip the reception, do dinner someplace where everyone pays their own way.. The divorce rate is over 50% and most of that is over $$$$$$. Don't start out with issues already!!!!

Answer 8

There is no way in the world that would work for me! When I married my husband, his parents split us up once, so we divorced, and we lived 100 miles away! That's a powerful influence! We lived together anyway, but as far as I was concerned I divorced his family! If it doesn't make you feel like a little girl, and you can get along with everyone being that close to you, then you're sure not like me!

Answer 9

This is going to be tough if you do that. Maybe not the first couple of weeks or months, but sooner or later you and his mother will become enemies and she will do everything to rally everyone against you. You two are meant to be enemies, and if you can handle this then you should be good, otherwise it's not wise to stay that long. Go for a cheaper wedding, and move out ASAP.

Answer 10

Hell no! I have been there done that. It actually hinder my relationship with my mom and my ex . Mom always in your business and trying to give advice on your marriage and everything else. plus I ended up giving them loads of money and didn't get to save as much as we thought we would have.
Oh and I hope you are not a screamer once my mom just walked in on us in the middle of sex. Its so many things that could go wrong in that situation. So would recommend that you just go for a cheaper smaller wedding or post pone your date till you have some more money saved if he loves you he will understand. Congratulations and good luck

Answer 11

It's not a GREAT idea, as far as being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it, but it's not a BAD idea for a young couple just trying to get on their feet. If your parents are willing to let you stay with them, you might definitely want to consider it. Because, believe me, the expenses pile up. You definitely want to weigh the pros and cons, or you'll end up in a bad situation with a lot of people saying "I told you so".