okay i have a 3yr. old that will be 4 in april. anyways me and the dad were off and on for 10 yrs. finally im 18 and pregnant, he's addicted to drugs and broke up with me for another girl when i was 6 mos. prego. i was devistated. i got over it and met my now husband when my son was 3 wks. old(the dad wasnt there 4 the birth)we started dating when my son was about a month and a half old. he still wasnt there. my husband tought this baby everything! my husband fell in love with my baby before in love with me!he calls my hubby daddy, i got scared at first cause i dont want my little boy being hurt by him too. well the "dad" went to prison for 3 yrs. in that time he actually contacted me and wanted to get in my son's life. my son met his real dad for the first time last august. my hubby was hurt. now the"dad" is out and was around barely,went back in. out now and is demanding if he doesnt see him that he's taking me to court!? i have sole custody.he wants joint.dont know what to do.help?
2006-12-25 23:35:44 · 13 answers · asked by chica 23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He's either trying to bluff you, or he'll actually start a suit. Be sure you have lined up a good attorney, familiar with family law. With his prison record and drug use there is little chance he will get beyond visitation and that could be supervised. Offering to "pay him off" won't help. That's probably what he's hoping for in the first place. If you statements are accurate, he has shown little true interest in being a father.
Get the attorney lined up so that you have somewhere to turn if your ex starts any trouble.
2006-12-26 00:32:18 · answer #1 · answered by Magic One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can have legal sole custody is if you have the papers. If you don't have anything legal then he can take you to court for at least visitations. The fact that he hasn't been around has nothing to do with it and neither does your husband being "hurt". If your husband was so "hurt" why didn't YOU have the father of your son sign off all paternity rights and your husband adopt your son? That would have eliminated all of this.
2006-12-26 00:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can take you to court but he won't win. I mean think about it he's got a criminal record, he's been to prison, he's done drugs a.k.a. not a suitable parent in the eye of the court system. Before I go on you must understand the difference between a sire and a father. To be a father you must be there to see your child grow up, develop a trusting relationship with your child, teach him/her lessons that they will use throughout life, set a good example for your child to follow, and you're child should be able to come to them with any problem that they have without fear of abuse or rejection. Now a sire is essentially a male who impregnates a female. A sire may become a father but if they have shown no interest in the child until now it is unlikely that they will be a good father to your child. If you would like more information on what it takes to be a good father try to contact "Magic One" he is my father and he's a darn good one too. I'm sure he'd love to give you some of his insights into this situation.
2006-12-26 00:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by Cyborg Farmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying! Someone who is in and out of jail always think they understand the court system backwards and forewords. They boast about using it against people all the time when in reality it scares the hell out of them to set foot in a court room. There is also the small problem that they have to file papers to get the whole process started, this takes $ and most jerks would rather buy drugs than lose this $ to an attorney. He will not go through with it! It is all a big bluff. Tell him next time he brings this up, that you hope he does file, because it would be nice to get a court imposed restriction order against him.
2006-12-25 23:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a really good attorney! So many judges rarely do the right thing anymore. I can't imagine he could get joint custody since he has been in prison twice - it might depend on the charges. It will also help you if the biological father has never paid any child support. As I said, you need an attorney. Good luck to the three of you. This bio-father would be a terrible influence on your son.
2006-12-25 23:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him take you to court. THERE IS NO WAY HE WILL GET JOINT CUSTODY WITH A RECORD. Do you actually have court papers that say you have "sole" custody. If not, then you should get an attorney. They give you the first hour free and should be able to tell you what to do. I would not worry about it until he files papers. In the meantime, take your child to visit his real dad as often as you can make it to the prison....
2006-12-26 00:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by ssc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are kidding me?this guy is a damnn low life asshole he's been to jail so now he is a low life jailbird .why are you even giving him the time of day ! do not answer his calls!when he calls hang up!tell him if you want to go to court then you just do that ! call his bluff!no judge in their right mind would give custody to a low life jackass like this dont you already that?wake up!this guy only has power because you give it to him you are wrong for even letting him interfere in your life he is making your husbands life miserable and you are letting him.just ignore him and let him make his threats i know so much about this kind of drama believe he is full of **** just let him try he is going to make an *** out of himself in court believe me!and for the paternity test you tell him sure you want a frigging paternity test ok wiseguy you want it you pay for it! its so frigging simple thesa assholes are all the same no matter what! just take my advice he is full of **** and doesnt have a legal leg to stand on he is a damn low life! ignore him and let him make his stupid little threat, and even take you to court.so what! he aint gonna be able to do ****! so screw him!
2006-12-26 00:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this guys been in prison than hes not got much of a chance at all of getting much custody. Your the one that has been there with your son the whole time, hes been behind bars!. Trust me he aint got much chance!.
I wish you all the best!.
2006-12-25 23:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by MizK♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you have sole custody court ordered? if not you might want to get that and allow supervised visitations with the child through the courts under the CAS
2006-12-25 23:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you will have to fight him in court. i don't know if you will win or not, it depends on whether or not you can prove that he is a bad influence on your son. so, you may need to let dad see his son, but you can still fight for supervised visitation, that would at least lessen the influence that dad will have on the son.
good luck.
2006-12-25 23:43:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋