this man wants me to lose weight of my belly, quit smoking whicch ive done.. be confident everything i was going to lose weight anyway but he didnt help. if someone says to me lose weight i wont do it thats the way iam.. i lov him alot and i would do anything to be with him.. why doesnt he like me for me? and do i change for him he wants me to lose a bit of weight stop smoking and become confident do i do it ?????????????
2006-12-25 22:38:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I guess you need to take it positively. I think he loves you and he wants you to look at your best. Removing extra fats to look even better is not a bad option, and similarly quit smoking is also a nice suggestion you must value for. He loves you undoubtedly. i know it well coz this thing exactly happened with me as well. see it yourself once you will loose weight and quit smoking, you will feel a lot of change in you and that will add to your personality. He is such a nice friend and such a great companion.
An advice to you ... have more communication with him ...this will add to better understanding between you two.
Best of luck
2006-12-26 00:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by winning_streak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You quit smoking, that's great. That might actually help reduce belly fat. Whether you stay with this guy or not, I really hope you stay clear of smoking.
This guy needs to mature some. He cannot micromanage a person and expect love in return. The losing the weight thing, without involvement, is controlling and contemptable. Adding conditions and qualifiers to the reciprocation of affections stinks.
Its apparent, he doesn't understand what true love is all about. Do you see any end in sight to this behavior, or a chance of happiness down the road with this guy; or is this gonna be a hallmark of your relationship? Its up to you.
2006-12-26 06:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by AnswerGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just giving you an option to cater to his ego-tripping. If you follow what he wants of you to do then that would certainly make him feel a lot superior to you which is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. He is a domineering partner who deprives you of your real self. I would say the manner of telling you to lose weight really matters, if he said "Sweetheart, I think you need to lose weight now, your belly is catching my attention, how about going jogging tomorrow?" or "Sweetheart, smoking is not healthy, I don't want to become a widower of a woman who died of lung cancer." It is a way of making his demands less domineering but asking you to do it or lose him means he will forever be dominating you! If he really loves you, he will not make you choose between losing weight and losing him. Girl, he does not love you! So get rid of this guy, find someone who will accept you for who you are and how you look!
2006-12-26 07:00:25 · answer #3 · answered by brainyluscious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it has only been 5 weeks and he's telling you what you should do for yourself, I don't think the relationship started off on a good start. It seems like he is trying to take over your personal life, if you want to lose weight, stop smoking, etc., then he shouldn't have to tell you you have to - you should make that judgment for yourself. You can change if you want to but dont make any changes for him, this is your life, body and health, nobody should take control over it but you.
2006-12-26 07:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Chrisssy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you are feeling. It's really bad when the heart of the person your heart chose didnt return the feeling. If he really loves you, he will take you as you are, but he doesnt. It will painful for you to quit, but I reassure you that it will be even more painful to remain with him. One way to do it without being the one who quits is to make him choose either between accepting you the way you are, or..... . I think he will probably take the second option but I DO hope he will chose the first.
2006-12-26 06:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by Only a smile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... i agree with the stop smoking part, because it is very bad for your health and it cuts your life in half.... so what he is saying is fine, but the way he is telling you is not fine! He should encourage you to stop and help you not just tell you that if you dont stop then he wont be with you!
I totally disagree with what he says about you loosing weight, its YOUR body, he chose to be with you 5 weeks ago, so what is his problem now? tell him that he needs to loose weight and see how he likes it!
2006-12-26 06:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wants going to happen down the road if you get married and have kids and you gain some weight then is he going to demand you to lose that to, he should love you for want you are not what you look like, is he going to complain to you every little thing he doesn't like about you?
you don't need a man like that, move on find someone that is in love with you inside and out.
we are not perfect and I'm sure his not ether.
2006-12-26 06:46:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lara <:(((>< 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants you to become more confident, then he shouldn't be pressuring you to lose weight. If he really cares about you, he'll accept you as you are. I'd say, try tellilng him how you feel about that & consider leaving if he still insists that you need to lose weight in order to be with him.
2006-12-26 06:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by Happy go Lucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never should change who you are for someone else...
do it because YOU CHOOSE to not because another person wants you to...
if he doesn't accept you the way you are..... don't bother staying with him 'n living up to what he wishes u to be... coz he should love you for YOU... not everything else u do or what u look like.
and you'll gain confidence by standing up for yourself... not by letting other people tell you what you should or shouldn't do. coz in da end, it's your choice not his. it's all you..... if u stick to his wanting u to do this and that.... you'll only find yourself stuck in a relationship where he controlls you... and you'll lose your freedom or space to do things on your own for yourself....
again, your choice.
2006-12-26 06:49:34 · answer #9 · answered by hawaiiangirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls....
He's got you on a line. Let me guess.... you drive him every where, pay for dinner, get him a beer, treat him like god. I bet he gets back rubs, and all that good stuff.
Then he goes to his other girlfriends house.
And also, 5 weeks? You're this messed up over 5 weeks? I know love bites, but you're not in love. You're being played.
2006-12-26 06:53:45 · answer #10 · answered by Rhys W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋