what can you tell me about drug addiction and how the people addicted sees life. A nephew is?

Question

ruining all our lives..he's addited to oxycontin and other drugs. He lies constantly, bilks relatives from money, stole Christmas presents Christmas eve, was discovered sleeping in my mother's attic where he had gotten through two sticks and a chain on the patio door, broken in apartments, refuses rehab, broken his mother's heart, loses jobs, apartments, cars, a wife, and much more. He steals repeatedly from relatives and breaks in our sheds and my mom's house often. Made many death threats..people are scared to turn him in as he may retaliate or he may just be using controlling behavior. he gets away with murder.

Do they know they are ruining their lives and many others? Do they care? Is only thre drug important? What makes them quit? Need more insight..

how can you make them want rehab...I feel prison might get him off drugs..his mom pays and gets him in programs and he doesn't show up, lies and says he went and then they find out he didn't etc.

That's the problem...we all decided not to give him money etc but his grandma (and sometimes) brother get the most begging and sometimes break down and help him...they are hounded and the "strong ones" generally are not approaced..his mom also breaks down sometimes and helps him behind her husband's back who has thrreatened divorce if she helps him but she feels sorry for him when he is freezing and homeless...he also threathens his grandma a lot and she has helped him most (except maybe his mom)...he has ruined her life and she is dying and he is so stressing her out and hastening her death that is no more than 6 months away according to the doctor. We do need to be united but then he breaks in if we don't help..somehow he cons his way in..a master manipulator and liar and stupid grandma

keeps buying his bull crp stories.

Abhishek Joshi --you offered some real insight into things. It's true..I think this is a kid (well he's 28 now but a kid to me still) who is full of anger. His dad was a jerk--never there...abandoned him..bought him drugs they took together when a teen, broke promises he's visit all the time. This was a kid noone liked banging doors and cussing everyone out when only 2 years old..how we disliked him and talked about how rotten he was as he was..stole five sets of keys from me and apparently threw them in the gully and slashed my tires as a kid cause I wouldn't let my son (who he liked) stay all night a few times so I'd bre forced to stay..breaking in houses as a teen and just a troublemaker. Spoiled like crazy by a mom who felt sorry for him that noone liked him with no parental insight and very permissive, buying him things like chinese stars, bb guns, minicars, bow and arrows (which he proudly and loudly announced much to my emabarrassment at the museam I took him to when

looking at stuffed birds that he loved shooting them between the eyes ith slingshots and such at about 5 years old..bought him things like garbage pail kids sticker and all these things at the inappropriate ages of 2-7 and saying to me don't buy hiom toys for Christmas he doesn't like them...sorry he got toys from me..what am I gonna buy him...weapons? She bought this bratty. ungrateful kid who cussed out teachers and threw chairs at them $300 shoes and jackets. he was very dependent on his mom and adept at xontrolling her....until she remarried at his age 18 where they essentially threw him aside for their own lives and the two males hated each other...Steve (the kid) blaming Mick (the new husband) for taking away his mom who he had frustrated but wrapped around his finger..Mick was also controlling with Sue (the mom) fake names in the middle torn between husband and son..the husband mostly won and it was then I felt sorry for the kid throw away in my opinion the son who had been

all becoming nothing although she still helps him sometimes behind husband's back)...I think as you said the kid is full of anger..the family is disfunctional and people have been judging him from birth he feels unloved and is gonna make everyone pay even if it destroys him in the process. He was obsessed with guns and is an angry kid..angry at the world and his family and life..he sees himself homeless, suffering, losing jobs and possessions and wife and family and homes and blames everyone and the drug is his relief from the anger and pain and makes him happy and forget. It is a sad situation but whast you said helped me have more compassion for him.

Answer 1

Try connecting with your local Narcotic Anonymous (NA) chapter and learning techniques to handling all the problems that you are facing right now as they are common with all addict hell bent on destroying themselves.

Addicts are basically raging souls within and their fire is not just destroying themselves but also the immediate family. Basically they are like raging tornados all set to destroy everything in sight, and an out of control addict is usually an out of control child who doesn’t know how to control his or her anger at the world, but mostly they are angry with themselves. So, the best help would be to have a loving example in their life, someone who knows how to be loving yet set boundaries for them.

Especially when it is so hard to let go a loved one, especially when you know they would totally destroy themselves if no one cares.

NA counselors and groups would surely help you in better dealing with an out of control addict like your nephew who seems to be well on course to hit rock bottom. At this point it is also important to protect yourself and the rest of the family as they are also under tremendous stress as dealing with an addict requires special skills and some tough love.
No wonder, sometimes a single addict in the family can ruin it, and you know it very well by now I am sure.

Plus it hurts as hell to watch a loved one ruin their life right in front of your eyes. This can be damaging for your mental balance as well, as to safe guard yourself you need to detach yourself a bit while staying in the energy of love. Unless he chooses to take responsibility on his life, there is little that you can do. So allow him to reach that conclusion himself.

At best we can cajole or coax him to recover and better still pray, but sometimes direct intervention becomes unavoidable, as it can be life threatening at times; both for the addict and for the immediate and concerned family as well, as sometimes they turn back on them as they have so much anger and self hatred in them that they want to lash out and destroy everything in sight, including themselves. Help them find a way to love and accept themselves just the way they are, as they cant do that for themselves, beyond that we cannot make choices for them, as the very first step to recovery, is taking responsibility of life and our body. Though it is rare when an addict checks himself into rehab, we all need an angel on our side, I am glad he had found one in you.

So prepare your self, let your inner light guide you through this one. It is always better to have an ally in the divine when dealing with such a situation life. God bless you.
Check out: www.na.org for further details.

Answer 2

As we are all different, quiting by yourself is possible, but its you re decision, don't tell me other I know.

Drugs are a form of relaxation and security for living in a world you cant agree with, drugs are all around us from cigarettes, glass of beer to grass, spirits and cocaine, heroine.

I controls you what ever drug you dependent on.
Looks like you re nephew need professional help as to me it seems he will not stop at anything to get his fix, then it be to late.

I understand its hard to grasp on him and of course I don't know the full situation, relation and mental state of you re nephew.

Try to take him away from all give him something he could or re-fire his interest on a lost hobby or something, see how he behaves there and then slowly try to make him see the point as to see professional help in his situation of no return.

Answer 3

It's not your nephew doing those things, it's the drugs. The drugs take over peoples lives and run them like a puppetmaster. It's impossible to live with but also impossible to fix unless the guy wants help. Get all his loved ones together and agree to stick together in not giving him $ or anything that he can turn into drugs. Call the police if he threatens you!

Answer 4

When someone is addicted to something like oxycontin- they dont think there doing anything wrong- they cant think. In their eyes the drug is the onlt important thing. You need someone thats a mediator ( i dont know what there called) someone not related to you someone that doesnt know your situation and you make them go to rehab.

Answer 5

He has to WANT to change. Much of this is "acting" out for attention. Show that you care for him by making time to spend with him. Pray for him...and for healing.

Answer 6

they wont quit by themselves. they need intervention