ive always assumed its one of 2 reasons...
hes not interested in you anymore...or... hes interested in someone else????
my boyfriend has a habit lately of 'withdrawing'.. yet claims he still loves me & wants to marry me etc.... that hes withdrawing b/c of stuff/stress that has nothing to do with me... yet if a man seriously loves a woman, wouldnt he be naturally drawn to her during rough times??? i dont get it?????
2006-12-25 21:21:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK - Men 101. Why stressed men won't talk...
A woman talks outside her head - that is, you can hear her - whereas a man talks inside his head. He doesn't have specific brain areas for speech (these have been made into areas for sexual behaviour - different topic) so this suits his mindset. When he has a problem he talks to himself, while a woman will talk to other people.
The famous Rodin sculpture "The Thinker" symbolises a man thinking about his problems. He wants to sit on his rock and think about the solution, and needs to be alone to do it. No-one is ever allowed to go up on his rock with him, not even his best friends (or lovers, spouses, etc). His male friends won't even contemplate going up there. Women feel the urge to climb up there and give comfort - and get a rude shock when they get pushed off/away.
-----
You need to give your man some space, and let him think. If there are no signs of infidelity, then stop looking for a problem. He'll come back down when he's ready to talk, so all you really need to do is look for indirect ways to offer support while he's thinking. DON'T try approaching him head on if he's still stressing.
You may not like it. You may not 'get it'. It's just how men are...
2006-12-25 21:43:59 · answer #1 · answered by keltarr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been together over 2 years, then you can probably rest easy that he is telling the truth. If he is having financial problems, family, ect, he cannot focus on you.
If you worry about an affair, I assure you, that it will come out sooner or later, as it always does. The truest test of a mans love is time. If he has given enough of his to you, and says he loves you, you should not wory, and let things happen naturally. However, if you have been being told he wants to marry you for 20 years, then I say, it aint happening.
Althoug, I have known a few couples to live together that long beforehand.
The thing is, men withdraw for many many reasons, not just the 2 yu mentioned.
Just be good to him, and if your good aint good enough, and he looks elsewhere, then, move on girl!
2006-12-25 21:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by wehweh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why Men Withdraw
2016-10-18 23:40:25 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU'RE SMOTHERING HIM. LAY LOW FOR A WHILE. Men have cave phases where they have to get their head together. They take the focus off you for a minute and then return, usually.
Sounds like you're a little needy for attention. During this downtime, get a mani/pedi, go out with your girls, visit family or church or find some other people to talk to for now. PLAY IT CHILL for now.
Most guys like girls who don't fold when they waver. You have to stay still emotionally. Play if off like it doesn't bother you. Men respond to strength, not weakness.
Yes, you love him, but this is yet another test. Pass it.
2006-12-25 21:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by L. F 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well i can only answer that from my own perspective.If i was i love with a woman i would want to share everything with her and she would be the first person i would go to if i needed advice or was facing a serious problem.My last relationship was the reverse of yours.Whenever my GF had a problem she would clam up and i couldnt get a straight answer out of her and it got so frustrating coz i genuinly wanted to help her thru what ever was troubling her.I would tell her all my worries when i had them and was completey honest and open with her but didnt get anything in reverse.
2006-12-25 21:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by jafsil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling him something simple that he could do-- say, "You know, just a genuine hug and 'I love you' when I come home would help me to feel better." Tell him that it's important to you. If he really is just stressed out, then this''ll help him to have a simple gesture that he knows will help you feel better. On the other hand, if he can't be bothered to make this simple gesture that he knows would help, you'll know that he's turning into a jerk-face.
2006-12-25 22:04:42 · answer #6 · answered by Person of Something 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the key is talk and ask the right question, but my guess is, just simple lost and burn out with things,
do you have unsolved argument with him that both of you tired to talk about and just start pretend nothing wrong and bury it?
can't tell unless know him , wish could help , but try talk and ask the right question, what is the right question , you should know if u really know him well.
example instead are you still love me ? maybe he a soft don't like presure guy, u can use question like when u going to say u love me again? and smile he might ask u question back " what u meant? " and bla bla bla.
well think about it who is he again and how much u know him
good luck and best for you
2006-12-25 21:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by mazdaspeedprotege 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone handles stress differently....some men just can't talk about things that bother them and they withdraw in order to work things out in their own mind...give him some time and space...good luck
2006-12-25 21:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe hes been goin tru a lot of late n he just needs a lil time 2 himself.i think u shud give him a lil space.
2006-12-25 22:05:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They feel as though they have let their guard down too much all ready and are backing off to see if you will let yours down some more...
2006-12-25 21:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by crimson_carnage 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋