Continued ...
So when I asked him how it was okay for him to go to their house and they are having the traditional dinner (same as my family). He couldn't really give me a straight answer. He said he is taking his own food. He admits that there is no difference in going there with his friend or coming with me and my family. He said he didn't want to come. But here's the problem, he never does. No matter when I ask him he cannot go. But he can participate in what he wants to.
Okay, I always go to his parents house with him. Even when I don't feel like it. He doesn't have to ask me to go. I try to go and spend time with his family, but he NEVER does that with mine. On a rare occasion when he is in a good mood he will want to "stop by" one of my family members house. Otherwise, he just says that my family never has anything outside of holidays. True, but the fact is that he is a part of my family now and he doesn't care that he is not being fair.
I need some advice!
2006-12-25 20:41:35 · 13 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thank you for the responses. This is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. It's not that he is training to be a JW that bothers me. It's that he can always find a way to compromise his religion for what he wants to do. But if I simply ask him to come to my aunt's house and be with me and just watch the football game with the other guys in my family (no presents, eating dinner, etc.) and he can't do it then it shows me that he is purposely going against what I am asking him. That's like a slap in the face or a tease by him going to be with other people on the holidays and not me, his wife. The one who loves him dearly.
Also, I might add that he always gets a ham or a turkey or christmas gift cards to restaurants from his job and he uses the merchandise. When I asked him how he could do that as a JW he said each persons conscience is different. But how? If somethings wrong it's wrong, period point blank.
2006-12-25 21:37:44 · update #1
Some who call themselves "Jehovah's Witnesses" actually are not, and may even bring reproach upon the organization. It's sad and regretful when that happens, and when the person actually *IS* a baptized Witness then his congregation elders can and should counsel him.
But a person such as is described in this question does not qualify for baptism as a Jehovah's Witness. It is difficult to imagine that his worship is sincere.
This questioner should not assume that the husband understand his wife's issues, and she should explain them calmly and explicitly. As a followup, the questioner may be successful in helping her husband improve by writing these Scriptures on post-it notes and scattering them about the home:
(1 Peter 3:1,2,7) If any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their [spouses], because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect. ...You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered.
(1 Corinthians 7:3,4,16) Let the husband render to his wife her due... the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does. ...husband, how do you know but that you will save your wife?
(Matthew 15:6-8) You have made the word of God invalid... You hypocrites, Isaiah aptly prophesied about you, when he said, ‘This people honors me with their lips, yet their heart is far removed from me.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20010108/article_02.htm
2006-12-26 04:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that he is still not sure what he wants to accept as far as beliefs. He may be taking baby-steps in becoming a jw and has not made his mind up. You should ask him what his intentions are. He is a grown man and can only decide for himself. I think he is being antisocial and inconsiderate of your feelings. I have known of jw's who have attended xmas family gatherings but have made it very clear that they are not there for the celebration of the holiday. And if that is respected by you and your family then it is not a compromise to him.
2006-12-25 21:01:35 · answer #2 · answered by mc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, it sounds like he has a problem with your family specifically. I think he uses the religion to get out of going there.
He doesn't seem to have a problem being around people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses.
He doesn't seem to have a problem reaching a compromise for his conscience in other situations.
He only HARD LINES the issue with your family.
2006-12-29 13:44:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been together for a while and this has been the trend, then he doesn't like being around your family during these get-to-gethers, and you'd be best off to just let it go. Always invite, but don't pressure him.
If you know WHY he doesn't like being there, then you might work on that, but better just to keep your relationship with him and your family separate.
2006-12-25 20:48:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married only ten years but have learned that I am not going to change my spouse and if I try I might get a week or two out of it at best. I pretty much adjust myself if I have a problem because I am the one with a problem, not her.
Hope that helps.
2006-12-25 20:51:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm, I feel it ain't fair for you. Have you ever asked your husband why he doesn't want come to your family members house? I suggest you, as a friend ofcourese, to ask him directly.. go on.. ^_^
2006-12-25 20:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by abe_poetra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a bit like that and my wife just accepts it, in the same way I accept that she is a person in her own right with her own foibles.
Good luck.
2006-12-25 20:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a doctor about zyprexa. A treatment for schizophrenic delusions.
Ramen !
2006-12-25 20:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then tell him that you won't follow him on his little trips to his family anymore.
Better yet, don't tell. Just do.
2006-12-25 20:48:53 · answer #9 · answered by optimistic_pessimist1985 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
demand that he accompany you, or get out.Until you give him an ultimatum, he will NEVER change, and he will NEVER respect you or your family. He thinks he is too good for your family
2006-12-25 20:44:38 · answer #10 · answered by judy r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋