Tough situation here, keeps me awake at night, stops me functioning in the day. A guy, known him for 3 months. Asked him to take it slowly, I needed time. I thought it was going slowly, I was coming round....he had started dating someone else. I know I am ready now, ready for him. I have stopped contacting him to let him concentrate on his new relationship. We cannot help but contact each other, works both ways. We meet, the chemistry is the best I have ever known. I adore him, this situation breaks my heart. I need him in my life, if only as friends then I still need him. He thinks that I am still not ready, what am I to do to show him I am, ready for him, ready for us. He is THE one you know, have I missed the boat? Is he playing with me? Kind advice would be good you guys, cannot move past these feelings.
2006-12-25 19:09:14 · 17 answers · asked by Andrea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 41, no spring chicken and he knows how I feel, jeez....he knows
2006-12-25 19:19:12 · update #1
Where is this "tough situation" you mention at the beginning? To my mind there isn't one. Whilst "asking him to take it slowly-you needed time-you were coming round"...he started dating someone else!! You stopped all contact "to let him concentrate on his new relationship"-WHY? This guy is a player, and both you and his "new relationship" are being played...surely you can see that? Please do not let this situation break your heart anymore than it has already-this guy is simply NOT worth your time and effort. You must move on from this, you can do better-you know you can...and YES-he is playing you! So ask yourself one question-"when did i become a carpet for someone to walk all over me"?
2006-12-25 23:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, know exactly what you want and be confident about it. Then, if this guy really is a friend as you say, it should be no problem to sit down with him and discuss how this will work. He needs to know how the situation affects you, and he needs to be honest about how he feels. If he does not want to move in a romantic direction with you at this time, I would use extreme caution in continuing a strong friendship of any kind. If you are anything like me and so many others, you'll always have desire for him and the risk for greater emotional hurt is there because you remained close. And I don't think you have missed the boat. Sounds to me like the boat is still tied to the dock and rocking back and forth in the water, unsure where to sail to.
2006-12-25 19:14:46 · answer #2 · answered by TCSO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's dictating to you, all or nothing. If he really is worth anything, it should'nt matter how quick or slow you want to take it, he'll wait, without even thinking of any form of relationship with any other person. So, I don't think he's worthy of even knowing about the pedistol you put him on never mind sitting on it, and if I'm right just put it down to experiance. Theres no rule saying we have to get it right first time and theres endless amount of fellas out there. Granted, lots of them will be a waste of space but not all of them. If I were you I'd wait until I found someone who was looking for the same as me without pressuring me, and you sound like a girl that deseves that. If you buy a new car or house etc you don't just buy the first one offered to you, and even then you don't always find that it's the best for you. Shop around a little and your bound to find what you're looking for in the end, whats the rush?
2006-12-25 19:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by Carl H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this not your boat at all. When you told him that you needs some time by the time you make your decision he is aboard on other boat.HAd he has strong feeling towards you he would have waited for a while. HE is able to manage with you even with out you. It really takes time for you to understand this.seems you strongly adore him but vice a versa is not not turning around.
2006-12-25 19:18:03 · answer #4 · answered by kiran1331 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi hun
You have not said how old you are.
Maybe this is your first TRUE LOVE
I remeber mine 42 years ago like it was yesterday
Just go with your feelings ( NOT YOUR BODY )
If he likes you too he will wait. Get on with your life and enjoy
you soon become 58 like me then no girls fancy you anymore hahaha
I know its hard but find another while he is with his new girl maybe it will make him think who he likes best and if not there are many others in this world who will love you
God Bless
Tony
xxxxxxx
2006-12-25 19:17:44 · answer #5 · answered by Tony 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe, you create your own reality. If you tell yourself you can't "live without him" then you set yourself up for being obsessed and for being "played"
People make choices. Sometimes people choose to NOT be with you at a certain time. Move on and TRY being with other people.
This will either lead you to someone you will TRULY connect with OR convince this other guy to be with you. Don't allow him to "take the reins" of what is supposed to be a "partnership"
2006-12-25 19:16:25 · answer #6 · answered by R J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without trying to be rude, I really think he should have given it a chance but guys usually think with the wrong head. I think thats what went wrong and know he's trying to hold it against you. As long as he can hold it over your head he will. Just continue to be his friend and don't let him know you are concerned with his decision. Play it cool like a cucumber. He will come around!!!!!!
2006-12-25 19:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by o'juiccy1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, ask him specifically how he will know you are ready. If he can't give you specifics then he knows he has you "waiting in the wings" if this new hottie he is with works out. If not, you likely will be called "on stage." This is a suckie situation. Be careful.
2006-12-25 19:13:48 · answer #8 · answered by morahastits 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well. you could try asking him how he feels about you. taking it easy, is the best way to go. be patient with him. be interested in what he does. show him how you feel. if he upset's you, show him you're upset. he needs to see your true nature. you could also try, breaking it of with him for a month or so. if you really want him, then flirt with him, see how he responds to that. if he tell's you, to stop it, he's not really interested. if he can hold eye contact with you, he probably does care about you. smile at him and you'll drive him crazy (in a good way).
2006-12-25 22:54:26 · answer #9 · answered by rjhamuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to take this guy to one side and just tell him out right that you are ready for him and that you need him, if he runs for the hills it wasnt meant to be, if he stays, your a very lucky person!
2006-12-25 21:52:05 · answer #10 · answered by Unhinged.... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋