My boyfriend and I have been together a while, over a year. And in the last two months have fought for the first time. His grandpa died recently which has taken a great toll on him, emotionally & on our relationship. He has with drawn from me & says he really cares about nothing anymore.
He is partying more, drinking more and has changed when he is drunk...from a nice drunk to a mean drunk.
I want to stick by him, but I am not sure how much more I can truly take. He has gone back & forth on us staying together/or not.
I hate to admit I didnt realize how deeply I cared for him until he was about to leave me, yes I know how convenient that sounds. But it is the truth, and it's not a ditch attempt to keep him. I have honestly never cared before about any of my bf's leaving & normally left them. Except for one.
I have never EVER spoken to my mom about my bf's before him, so this is a really big deal. Cause Ive spent my xmas holiday sorting things out with my mom.
2006-12-25 18:54:00 · 3 answers · asked by nkbapbt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Today he told me he feels like he can't do anything right, he can't please me. And I have to admit I can see why he does feel that way. Because I will say something like “I want you to leave” (which is something I never actually want, I just get scared) and then when he tries to leave, I get mad he does it.
I know this is MY issue. I was in a very abusive relationship in the past and it has really left emotional scars on my heart. Not to mention my real mom abandoned me not long after I was a year old. And although I had WONDERFUL adoptive parents, I still struggle with the fear that the people I love will leave me.
This IS my problem, and it is also my boyfriends.
Any suggestions as to how I can stop pushing him away and saying things I don’t mean?
2006-12-25 18:54:12 · update #1
its a control things sounds like or your playin mind games. just say what you feel. dont do the guessin thing cause most guys will just take what you say as the truth. We as women dont realize that men usally take what we say as what mean. Even though 90 percent of the time its not that way!
2006-12-25 19:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by fine_ass_fatty21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can convince him to seek therapy. It wouldnt hurt to seek out some for yourself as well.
2006-12-26 02:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by helplessromatic2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave for a while let him sort his problems because once abuse starts it only gets worse ,show him that you will not take any abuse
2006-12-26 02:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by LISA A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋