I was asked "If u don't believe in Christmas y do u celebrate it?" How do I tell them they celebrate my holida

Question

I am Pagan so I celebrate Yule. How can I tell my husband's mother that the traditions she follows to celebrate Christmas are Pagan in origin? Without affending her, of course. Is there a book or a website I can point her to for in depth information?

Answer 1

They aren't celebrating "your" holiday. Over time many traditions of different people and religions have become incorporated into the celebrations of Christmas, Yule, and other midwinter holidays.

They're celebrating the birth of Jesus if they're Christian. You may be celebrating the wheel of the year, or the birth of the sun, or the various things we neopagans associate with the holiday.

But nobody owns the day. The holiday is different things to different people, and different people may be celebrating very different things using similar traditions.

My suggestion is that instead of trying to convince your Christian relatives that their favorite holiday is non-Christian, and that you have more "right" to it than they do, that you instead explain that you celebrate a similar holiday, with many of the same traditions, meanings and messages as their holiday.

Many neopagans I know celebrate Christmas, not for the religious reasons, but as a family tradition that allows them to show love and respect for their relatives... some celebrate it as a cultural tradition that they enjoy, because they like the traditions of it.

To me, even though I'm not Jewish, I've been invited to and attended temple services and passover dinners with Jewish friends. I've gone to baptisms for Christian friends and family even though I'm not Christian. I've participated in Sweat lodges even though I'm not a plains Indian.

Part of a holiday or religious observance is the religious aspect. But there's also a social and cultural aspect. You don't have to accept or take part in all those things if you don't want to, but you also can't "own" a holiday. Your holy days are holy to you for your reasons, and their holy days are holy to them for their own reasons.

And some of the traditions and beliefs related to different holidays are actually based on things that are common to many (I hesiutate to say "all") people regardless of their faith or background.

The evergreen tree, for instance, is a symbol of life, rebirth, or immortality - a reminder that there is life even when death and winter abound. It means the same thing whether you're a Christian or a Wiccan, even though the Christians apply that symbolism to the life of Jesus, and Wiccans don't.

Answer 2

The majority of people today do not go to church any more, and while they may understand the christian reason for Christmas, most pay no more than lip service to this. Otherwise the chuches simply could not hold everyone. Your mother in law is probably taking issue with the fact that you are pagan, rather than whether you celebrate Christmas for the same reason as she does. So only go to the effort of explaining if you think there is genuine interest on her part in learning and understanding where you come from.

Answer 3

Well, first of all, you can point out to her that christmas itself is now a federal holiday, not a religious one. Yes, the religious celebrate it for their own reasons, but being federally mandated makes it accessible to all, not just the christians ... although many of them sure have a sick sense of entitlement over a holiday their religion stole in the first place.

I'm not aware of any books with the subject, but there are several sites online that have some very good information about the integration of pagan traditions into christianity. Just type "origin of christmas" into google and you'll come up with some decent sites. Sit her down and show her, although she's not likely to believe it.

Good luck ;)

Answer 4

I've started practicing this simple response: Smile and say, "Do you really want to know?"

Only if she says yes, do you give her a few of the basics--hopefully without too many "you" statements or claims of this being YOUR holiday. While it's true that most of the elements of Christmas, as we celebrate it, come from pagan roots from the cult of Mithras to Druids... well, it's kind of tacky to say so, if you want to keep some family peace, and you can afford to be the bigger person. As far as she's concerned, she's celebrating the Nativity of Christ, and both can be true at the same time. Something more simple, like, "Our holidays have a great deal in common--especially the holly, the ivy, the mistletoe, and the returning of lightness into darkness" might be a good launch point. But only if she really wants to know. Bright blessings!

Answer 5

Almost all the holidays we are celebrating now a days came and originated from somewhere and sometime in the past, Whatever they are, we are relying on history to tell us where and what they are. Sometimes we don't know if those records were reliable source or if it's true at all.

Christians believe in God while pagan believe in the gods. Your in-law, and you believed on something that came down in history that's been recorded on a specific time in the past. But are you so sure that that's the beginning of those events at all. Did it occur to you that maybe christians and pagans were sharing traditions in the past, vice versa, that weren't recorded at all?

Whatever you decided to do, as a pagan, don't upset your in-law. Pagans are peacefull and loving too. I know this for a fact for I lived with a lot of them in the past.

Answer 6

Anyone can celebrate Christmas. After all its a birthday party. Why not. And don't forget to sing Happy Birthday to the Baby Jesus.
I Cr 13;8a
12-25-6

Answer 7

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule

hmmm.....
its nice to see you in the vein of respect as you are. Its great to get together with my catholic family members during this holiday. I love to see them and hear what they have been up to over the past year.
I would go about this two ways with two responses in tow.
The first one should be that this is also your belief and practice to celebrate this day.
The second notion should she inquire further would be the details about the whole Yule thing.
If she asks you again. Respectfully of course. Here is one source, hope I helped.

Answer 8

If she thinks she is a Christian and she is practicing paganism, she needs to repent. The bible says Ye worship ye know not what. God forbids these practices for his people expressly in Jeremiah chapt 10:1-5. While many professing believers practice these things, they are in severe denial about God's judgment on these things. The bible says to his people, that if they continue to sin believing that grace covers willing disobedience, that this is liscentiousness and there is no more grace for that sin.

Answer 9

i understand the desire to tell her, but i would advise against it. unless she is asking let her have her beliefs.

most people wouldn't believe you anyway. they don't want to know that the church appropriated pagan holidays.

blessed be

edit
tell her that you do celebrate just not for the same reason. i celebrate xmas because i like presents.

Answer 10

There really isn't a way to do that. Everyone has their own perception of how the holidays should be spent. Just tell her. If she is reasonable she'll understand.