Some serious holiday help here, please. What can I do to live?

Question

Okay this is going to sound so weird, but it is honestly a true story. Our family doesn't get together as a whole but one time a year, today. At this get together will be my mother, my sister Kay, and her bf, my other sister Alexa, her bf, and her 4 children, and my husband, daughter, and myself. Alexa and I got into a HUGE fight (i am talking the pies went flying through the house). She was mad at me for telling her that she needed to grow up and make her children wear seat belts and not allow them to ride to someone that was drunk and that I didn't want to be the one attending a funeral for my neices or nephews. She said she wanted to be the "fun parent" and the kids' dad could worry about seat belts and then takes her kids to look at christmas lights around the area. I told her that she needed to grow up and think about her kids over herself all the time. She proceeded to look at me and tell me that I am the one that needs to grow up. I work full time and a mother to my 6 year

year old daughter. She is a internet call girl and a maybe three times a year mother. Honestly who needs to grow up here?

I love these kids as my own, they lived with me for two years while the court tried to decide who was best to raise them, so it hurts to know that she is so careless. I don't think it was just the drinking that got to me. We were supposed to have dinner at her house, but I refused to go over there because she has drugs in her house and I will not allow my daughter around it. I was so furious when she called me a bad mom!

Answer 1

You are so right. Your sister is not a fun parent, she is not acting like a parent at all. She needs to grow up, imagine how she would feel if one of them was hurt or killed. Be proud of yourself, your the mature one. I think it is lucky that she has such a wonderful, mature sister that cares enough to speak up. This is a serious issue, so many times parents want to be the fun one, kids need parents not "fun" friends. This is such a dangerous world it is great to know there are people like you that have common sense and care for our children. She needs to realize it is her job to always protect them, it is not just her husbands job. I hope she wakes up before it is to late and something horrible does not happen to innocent, young children. It is a crime, so many people want to be parents and cannot. We should think about having a license to have kids, maybe people would be more serious, actually I may say she is not fit to be a parent! Sorry to be so harsh, but this upsets me to hear these type of stories, a friend of mine who was a fantastic mother recently lost her little 2 year old, in a car crash. Let her know, grow up and be a mother. I wish you and your family help and the best!!

Answer 2

It sounds like you already know the answer to your own question. If what you are saying is true, then it sounds like a whole lot of chaos is going on. If the neglect is serious enough then you should call social services. I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews and I love them more than anything in the world. It is sad that your sister doesn't make her children wear seatbelts. That is common sense and she must be retarded or something to let them be in a vehicle without seatbelts, any idiot could tell you that. As long as those children are safe, the best you can do is be a good mother to your own 6 year old. I really hope everything works out between you and your family. If you believe in your heart that you are doing the best for your family and the ones you love than there is nothing more you can do.

Answer 3

I know how it is to have sisters that don't do whats best for their children. I don't care what my sister has to say, I always step in especially when I think it results in my nephew getting hurt. I don't think you two should be fighitn like that infront of the kids. I don't have any kids, I'm the youngest of my mothers 5 children, So my sister hates when I give her advice on raising my nephew. Like your sister she just wants to be fun, and like a friend to her son. As long as you two don't let it get out of hand. Nothing much has changed with your sister I bet from since she was a child. Now you two are just older and have kids to fight about.

Answer 4

Her, but ouch, she won't.

You're totally in the right, and i'm sad to think that she won't realize it until her kids get way outa hand because fun-parents suck, or until something tragic happens.

My best bet for you to do is every now and then drop a hint to the kids that seat belts are safe etc. Try educating the husband, maybe he'll listen if you put together a crazy "drunk-driving" video

Answer 5

You were totally in the right about not wanting your nieces and nephews not to be in a car with someone who was drinking. She should be worried about the type of example that she is setting for her children. From the sounds of it you are more settled and put together than she is, she should value your input. And I should know because I am the youngest girl out of five daughters, and I constantly worry about my nephews and nieces.

Answer 6

Sounds like a fun party. Wish I could see the pie fight. Maybe some love needs to be given during the year.

Answer 7

Not much you can do unless she wants is ready to understand that what she is doing is unsafe.

Would she be swayed by statistics?
Here is an artical that covers both drinking and seat belts
http://www.usatoday.com/money/autos/2004-08-10-traffic-deaths_x.htm

Answer 8

you can pick your nose
you can pick your seat at the theater !
you can pick your friends
you can NOT pick your family
Do you honestly need her in your life?
You cannot change the people around you, you can only change your reaction to them, and in this case, you do need to change your reaction. personally i would be silent, but call the cops and report the kids being in danger if they are with a drunk driver.

Answer 9

She does. It's her fault for not being a good parent.