Is there something wrong with this?

Question

My fiance is keeping a breakup/love letter from his past girlfriend. She was breaking up with him when she wrote it but it had sweet words in it like, "i will always remember you", and "remember me when you listen to this song..." I asked why he keeps it and he says because it was sweet. He told me it doesn't mean anything to him. what do you think? why do you think he really keeps it? he can't let go? Do you think he still feels something for her?

Answer 1

tell him to get rid of them. IT IS NOT OK TO HAVE THOSE LETTERS. how you YOU occupy his mind when he still thinks about his old girlfriend. people keep letters to remind them of the ones who wrote them. he needs to move on or move out, in my opinion. if they really mean nothing to him, then he will toss them out. You need to be building trust and this letter is tearing it back down.

Answer 2

I feel so bad for you. it probably makes you wonder if you're th eonly one he thinks of or is she still on his mind and that is the most unsettling feeling in the world. every girl wants her man 100% to herself. it can be two different things: A. if he really loves you and shows it (and you actually feel it), then you know that's it's more of a sentimamntal thing that hopefully with time he'll just not care if he has it or not. kind of like keeping the notes you past to your friends during class, or perhaps a note that your mom left you. just a plesant memory (but i can see how that would bother you, cuz it would bother me too). also, if his ex is with someone that's comforting.
B. it is possible that your worries are in place and he can't let go of her and still has feelings. guys hate such conversations, so you'll have to catch him in a relaxed, nothing on his mind, kind of mood. then you bring it up in a conversation kind of way, not accusing and explain your feelings and that you love him so much and that it would mean sooooo much to you if he'd get rid of it (try to make a joke, like: "if you give it up, i'll make it worth while for you tonight...") but make sure that he doesn't say he will and then hide it cuz that is deffeting a open relationship, and that will push him away from you, so you have to know your guy to see if this advice fits.
good luck!

Answer 3

Well - does he keep it out and read it every night - or did you find it tucked away with things he doesn't look at often? You can't erase his memories of the past and you shouldn't try. I'm sure he has good memories of her as well as sad ones - but obviously, since you're getting married he wants to continue making memories with you. Just let it be, stored somewhere in an old trunk or something.

Answer 4

Haha. I kept a couple of my past breakup letters, but I'm in love with someone now, and the letters mean nothing to me. They're just fun memories.

Answer 5

Well he is your fiance so that has to count for something but i will keep the notes from my past girlfriends forever in a box you know just for memories to look back on just something to have i mean you have to know were you have came from to know were your going and i figure when i get old it will be very interesting to look back

Answer 6

yes he does. i know. i pained for a girl with same scenario. speaking from experience.....he keeps it because there was something he can never tell you about what attracted him to her, and he never will. he prob destoyed any evidence, she knew he would hold on to it and when he met someone else would keep it and read it, so she wrote it to bug the next girl. i think she could care less about getting him back, because if you break up and you write...i'll miss you....you are full of poopoocaca....no one goes that far to write a letter like that when you break up. you both hurt. he may not want to get back together with her, but some hidden secret that had wheather it was weird or kewl, he is afraid someone will find out, so he "says" it doesnt mean anything to me" he is not a creep he is just lost in lust with someonewho gavehim something he dreamed of, and who knows what it was, but i would sit down and have a very VERY heart to heart talk about it. my first marriage i kept everything from this one girl, and being a typical outdated bach, i was trying to hold on to something in case it didnt work out because of my low self esteem

Answer 7

it's just a part of his past that he wants to remember. let it go. he obviously loves you if he's marrying you, and he probably wouldn't know how to find her if he wanted to if it has been a long time. anyway the point of the letter is that they were breaking up. forget about it.

Answer 8

Sure sounds like it.

But it might not mean anything. Still, you need to let him know it is bothering you and if he is any kind of a man, he will dispose of it.

If he doesn't, then it could be he is thinking in terms of a backup in the off chance you and him have problems.

Answer 9

maybe its a reminder to him, what the reasons were that they broke up. meaning dont go back. if he is willing to marry you,
then let it be.
my father kept a few letters from my bio mother for like 20 plus years, reminding him of the negative thoughts that my bio had of him, and that made him stronger, cause of me and my sister
he put up with a lot of stuff, but he got stronger and the letters helped him become a more confidant in his actions when it came to divorcing my bio mother.
he also kept them for me and my sister to read, cause she admitted to losing us, but wanted another guy more than us.
if you have questions ask him, you are going to marry him.
ask specific questions write them down and ask him, but dont jump his case, just listen, men have a hard time expressing themselves, give him questions then give him time to answer.
be patient, good luck

Answer 10

If it didn't mean anything to him, he wouldn't be keeping it.

When I break up with someone, I get rid of anything and everything that reminds me of that person. I have the memories of them, that's enough. I don't need letters or keepsakes to remind me of them.

But that's me.