Is it bad that I dont know all my family members and couldn't care less? My parents brought us up without really letting us see our cousins and aunts, and etc. Now i dont know all of them and now that I am 20 I really dont care becasue I feel like its to late to just pick up the phone and say hi aunte what are you doing for new years u know. I mean it is bad but I dont know what I would say and its aqward. My boyfreind takes it as a shock and sort of a turn off. But its not really my fault. He grew up with his family by his side and I haven't. So i feel like he wouldn't understand my situaion unless he was me. I feel its like you not talking to your aunt u havent seen inten years and saying hi whats up.
2006-12-25 17:46:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel bad because my grandma just past a few weeks ago and some guy asked me if i was sad and if i cried and i had to lie- I said yeah. Its bad because I didnt even know her. This other lady from when i was younger wanted me to call her grandma and she was more of a grandma then my real grandma god bless her. But I just feel bad for that.
2006-12-25 17:47:15 · update #1
No it is not bad. Not everyone know there family members. I for one dont. I hardly like some of mine. So dont bet yourself up about it. your boyfriend will eventually understand if you explain to him your situation. Good luck
2006-12-25 18:08:35 · answer #1 · answered by Ally R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all of my own family either. They are spread out all over the United States and the ones I do remember I haven't heard from in 40 yrs. and my address has always been at my grandmother's house, so if they cared they knew how to drop me a line. I had 2 cousins taking care of my grandmother when she was alive, and when I called to talk to her, they would answer the phone and act like I was a stranger, and i called and wrote my grandmother every week when she was alive. My real dad told me I had a step brother in the army stationed at the base by my house and I should give him a call. I didn't even know what he looked like, why would I give him a call?
My hubby grew up with his family and he still goes and sees them at least 2 times a month. They all live 3 hrs. from here.
And he has a hard time with my feelings too. But you can't miss something you never had, as I have always been told and believe.
So I don't think it is bad for you feeling the way you do. Because you are right. The other person cannot know what it feels like until they walk in your shoes.
2006-12-25 17:59:15 · answer #2 · answered by myninny54 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is not bad when you or your family were not close to your family members, it is sad though because the ones who are at fault are your parents, who kept you away from the rest of the family. But, your grandma who passed away, should have made an effort to get close to her grand kids, and she did not. Please try to get close to your other living relatives if you can, because there is more time than life and when we die what are we going to say to God, I did not try to find out if my relatives wanted to see me or not, because that is the way I was brought up. Please make an effort on your part and try to get to know your relatives and if by chance they do not want to see you, than you did the best you could so, your conscience is at peace with it. Good luck and I hope you would take my advice and go do it. I care.
2006-12-25 18:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have relatives that I may have never even met. My mom is one of ten children, and I have over 50 cousins out there. It's not that I could care less, it's just that getting together with all of them when we're scattered across the state and country is virtually impossible. I do have some relatives that are close, but do not think it's a big deal to have lost track of some of them.
Don't feel guilty about not feeling motivated to get together with your out-of-contact relatives.
2006-12-25 18:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by katnkaboodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it's never to late. It's possible your relatives have grow-en up having the same thoughts that you are and just as uneasy about contacting you. Luckily I grew up close to my relatives and I'm glad I got to know them. Why your parents chose not to be closer to their siblings is only a question they can answer, have you ever asked them about it? It could be the best time of the year right now to possibly start a relationship with a family you never knew. Good luck.
2006-12-25 18:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by wheelerdr44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide how important family is to you, only you know that. Your boyfriend is not involved with this, it is simply up to you and any man that would tell me something so personal is a turn off is a waste of your time, clearly he does not respect your feelings and realize we are all different. I do not know or am close with my cousins, I may not even know some of them if I saw them on the street, but the ones I am close with I cherish, go with what your heart tells you, not your selfish small minded boyfriend. And by the way odd things turn him off!!!
2006-12-25 17:54:16 · answer #6 · answered by jhoxford 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you'll be alright it's not that unusual really. My kids don't know my family BY MY CHOICE. My family has nothing but, heartache to offer em anyway someday they'll be glad they don't know my whole family. I am not close at all to my cousins or aunts or even my own father. My husband my kids are my whole WORLD
the bf may not be the right one for you if he don't understand not all families are cuddly and perfect. .
2006-12-25 17:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how many your family are. The most important is you be nice when you meet them and dont fake or lie about it. Just be true..
2006-12-25 17:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by Lady_C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad I feel the same way. its best not to know everyone in the end anyway
2006-12-25 17:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about it. not everyone is singing kumbaya at their dinner tables.
2006-12-25 17:49:44 · answer #10 · answered by FucAlloYu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋