My dad a pedohile?

Question

I was molested often by an uncle as a girl. My little girl is now the age I was when abused, 6. The problem is she goes to stay with grandparents, and, I have been having recurrent nightmares that my father sexually abused me. Not just one dream, but about 50.
I also ran away often as a teen cause I feared he may rape me. My family all blames it on my uncle. They say that I am imagining my dad because he was the closest male to me besided my abusive uncle. But, every time my girl and son go there, even though I call, and make sure my mom is in charge, and all, I still am nervous. I also, dont know what to do, I have aske dmy daughter to always tell me if anything is wrong, over and over she says nothing. Is her recent sggresiveness a phase?
Am I like my family says, "Being paranoid because I have mental illness?"
I am so confused, that i am planning to move , just to get away from the possibuility of anything happenrning. Can anyone relate?
I need help. Weh Weh

Answer 1

What would happen if you children were molested by your father?
People would blame you and ask you why the hell you let your children go there.
There isn't a rule that kids have to spend time with their grandparents.
Tell your parents if they want to see them to come stay with you.
If anyone tells you that you are paranoid just tell them to stick it.

I was molested by my father and have repressed almost everything--I've remembered enough to know that I was molested but I've blocked the bad details.
I know you didn't ask this question but don't go for the regression crap---I looked into it and it can be screwed up really easy. It isn't worth it.

Try going to a support group.

Answer 2

The most important person in this scenario is obviously your daughter. If you have suspicions of molestation then it's your responsibility to act on her behalf. The flip side is that a groundless accusation of molestation can be be devastating to the one being accused. I say that you go with what your gut tells you. I would try to get a counselor involved with yourself to see if there is any basis behind these dreams possibly being a way of unlocking memories in your subconscious. We tend to suppress bad memories without even knowing it but with proper therapy those memories can be remembered and the healing process started. Good luck.

Answer 3

It might be, it might not be a phase. My first suggestion is for YOU to talk to a therapist of some sort. If you haven't come to grips with your own abuse, then there is no way that you are going to be able to handle this situation (whether there is a problem or not) like the adult that your daughter needs you to be. After you understand your own situation, then you, with the help of your therapist, can decide on a course of action regarding your father and daughter. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Your mother and father were unable or unwilling to protect you. You have ever right to be concerned about whether they are able to protect your children.

Quit having them stay the night, they are your children.

I don't know about your dreams but I can tell you that usually it runs in families, in other words someone "got to your uncle" before he "got to you". Your family wants to be in denial about what has happened to you and that is why they tell you that "your just crazy" because they really don't want to deal with the harsh reality.

You will have problems trusting people, but beware where your children are concerned. You should really talk to someone about what happened to you. Try a women's resource center in your area if you are unable to afford help on your own.

My guess is you have problem also with self esteem, people in the work place and relationships (commitment).

Answer 5

Maybe you should seek some counseling or group therapy. I also know that trusting in God will help calm your fears down. You have been through a traumatic event and having a daugther with similar age and situation brings up the past trauma.

Answer 6

I was molested by my uncle also. Sometimes i think of my dad hurting me i don't know why. I did'nt like anyone touching me. I think you should talk to your dad. Maybe he wont tell you the truth if hes been molested your kids. But maybe you are not being Paranoid. I understand what you are going thru and you can email me any time. God be with you and your family.

Answer 7

Sometimes brothers molest each other when they are young,the father and his brother could both be pedophiles,i've read some where that the child becomes withdrawn ,but think back and ask yourself what should your mother had said to make you tell on a pedophile.you could go over to the grandparents house and plant a camera somewhere and take it when you pick them up.

Answer 8

I do think you may be paranoid, but you may have a point. I think it is natural to be paranoid in your position though. I think you need professional help. You need to discover what really happened and work through it, for yourself as well as your daughter and rest of your family.

Answer 9

IF U FEEL THIS THEN U SHOULD ASK UR KIDS ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. AND LET THEM KNOW U WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM. I'M A SINGLE PARENT MY GIRL IS NOW 5. WHEN SHE WAS OLD ENOUGH TO TALK I'D ASKED IF ANYONE TOUCHED HER IN HER PLACES AND POINT AT THEM. WHILE SHE WAS STILL IN THE POTTY TRAININ AGE. SHE'D SAY THAT OUR SITTER WOULD AND I'D ASK WHY AND SHE'D SAY SHE'D GO POTTY AND HAD TO BE CLEANED. I STILL ASK JUST BECAUSE I HAVE THAT FEAR. THIS IS A MOTHERS WORST FEAR THAT THEIR CHILD IS BEING HURT AND THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO TO STOP IT. SO I JUST STARTIN ASKIN WHEN SHE WAS REALLY SMALL SO THAT SHE'D KNOW IF IT HAPPENED THAT NO MATTER WHAT SHE COULD TELL ME. SHE IS NOW AT THE AGE OF UNDERSTANDIN THAT IF SOMEONE TOUCHES HER PLACES ITS OK TO TELL ME. AND NO ONE WOULD HURT HER ANYMORE BUT IF SHE DIDN'T TELL ME THEN I COULDN'T MAKE IT STOP. BEST OF LUCK TO U AND UR KIDS

Answer 10

I feel your cry for help merits you looking into perhaps going to a therapist who is trained in helping victims of sexual abuse. By getting this help, I think will release you from the turmoil and misery you evidently have carried for way too long.