I am in my mid 20's, and it seems like every guy I fall for is the Unemotional type. Too distant, unable to connect, and to be truthful just not that into me. The current one has stood me up twice, and broken plans with me at least 3 times. His excuse is always i was asleep, or with other friends, or haven't seen this person in a while and really wanted to hang out with him. I am always nice and forgiving. I am at a loss. I am not an ugly girl, but this long stream of ******* is really making me insecure.
2006-12-25 17:12:03 · 10 answers · asked by Belle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You pick them, allow them to mistreat you, and then go ahead and fall for them.
Consider changing your standards- read "Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong" by Barbara De Angelis.
2006-12-25 17:15:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, another 20-something here... just letting you know that I'm sorry you're in this situation. It can really do a number on your self-esteem, but it does look like you have a good grasp on reality, which is a great place to start.
You can totally see the weaknesses of the guys that you have been with, you can see that the way that you are always accepting and forgiving enables them to treat you this way, and you can see that the effect that this is having on you emotionally.
Now, put this knowledge to use. Before getting into another relationship, take a bit longer to get to know the guy. Assess him against what you already know doesn't work, and hang out with him long enough to know that he's not going to be an unemotional, distant, untrustworthy liar. If you suspect that you're falling into the same trap again, then you have an opportunity to get out before you invest yourself too deeply.
Also, try looking for guys in other places. If you keep meeting these guys at work, for example, try going to the gym or to a coffeeshop or something... if you keep meeting them at bars, try libraries and art museums instead.
Most of all, take care of yourself. Get rid of that current loser, spend at least a few weeks guy-free pampering yourself and getting yourself refocused and re-prioritized.
Good luck!
2006-12-26 01:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maby u need to stop looking for guys and just have fun eventually some one good will pop up unexpectadly bt u need girl friends to hang out with in the mean time just dont stress over the guys who keep standing u up
dont worry about them , u should be with some one who wants to be with u not some one who keeps blowing u off for lame excuses so just forget about thoes loosers u have been seeing (if u think they are loosers that is ) and just have fun live ur life and u will meet people :)
2006-12-26 01:18:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be attracted to that type of man because if they hurt you it won't be a complete shock.
So if you expect that something may happen you won't be that hurt.
What if you were with someone that you believed loved you and you believed you could trust. So you let your guard down and feel at ease.
Imagine how bad you would be hurt. You are just protecting yourself.
2006-12-26 01:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by MamaCat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have unresolved issues about being needed or don't like having disagreements. Maybe you are stuck choosing the wrong type of guy. Maybe you could benefit from some therapy.
2006-12-26 01:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by fourbearsandacat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know this: if you are not attractive enough to be on magazine covers, go for guys who are.... average. It is supply and demand you know. Secondly, the guys you like are probably guys who are really good at women, which means they get laid ALOT, so you are not novelty anyway.
2006-12-26 01:15:38 · answer #6 · answered by DeadmanWalks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 33 years old and been with more men I care to admit to. Here is my opinion from experience......Get together with an older man. They are more experienced and most know how to better treat a woman.
2006-12-26 01:17:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Take a break from being in any relationships. If you are a christian, pray that God will send you a man that he has chosen for you, into your life. :-)
2006-12-26 01:17:51 · answer #8 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new place to meet different men..
2006-12-26 01:14:36 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eat, -healthy-, Pie!!!
And, believe in yourself.
2006-12-26 01:14:22 · answer #10 · answered by Otter Pop 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋