I think my boyfriend of three years is depressed, what is the best way to handle this?

Question

We have been together for so long and through so much. But for quite some time he has been having days where he feels like he is worthless and no good. These days are becoming much more frequent and as a result he is pushing me away, saying that I don't deserve to be hurt anymore and since he hates himself, he doesn't want me to see his life go down the drain. When things are good, they are so good. But when he's feeling like a worthless loser, he just pushes my love for him away. I care about him with all of my heart and want to help him the best way possible. If anyone has any solutions for how to help, I would greatly appreciate it!

Answer 1

It could be seasonal depression, especially if you live in a cold area. If that's the case go somewhere warm for a weekend or more. It may be enough help him get through it. Also let him no that however far he trys to push you away that you will always love him.

Answer 2

He needs to go and see a therapist, and see one now. When you said that he has good days, and when they are good they are really good, but when he is down, he is really low. He may not just have depression, he may be bi-polar, or a form of that family. That is how they usually act. This can be controled by medication, but he would have to take it all of the time if it is what he has. Other wise he would keep getting those highs and lows. So try to talk him into going in and seeing a therapist, and ask if you can go in with him, and have him sign papers so you can talk to them and them to you. This could be quit helpful to all of you, and then you two can get back to the way things were at one time in you life when it was wonderful.......I wish you the best

Answer 3

He sounds bipolar. "When things are good, they are so good. But when he's feeling like a worthless loser..." But I'm not a psychiatrist. Like the first poster said, he should see a doctor and get a physical. There are illnesses that can cause depression. Then they can determine what medication or therapy he might need to find balance again. When people are really depressed, they need help getting to the doctor. They often aren't even strong enough to seek help themselves. It sounds like you're his only hope. Make the appointment, and then go with him.

Answer 4

Sounds like bipolar on top of the world and then depressed. He needs psychiatric help, but bipolar patients are the hardest to treat. The reason is when they feel so good, they don't think anything is wrong and when their depressed they think the situation is completely hopeless. You will have to do an intervention of some kind so he realizes that people care about him and he that he needs treatment. There are good medicines like lithium and depakote, but he would have to take them regularly. 1-800-950-NAMI is a national hot-line you can call that will can help with support, and they may have some good ideas on how to get your boyfriend into treatment. Whether it's bipolar or not he needs help and the NAMI hot-line is a good general mental health hot-line.

Answer 5

Depression is a crippling disease. It not only affects the person but also affects all those near him. I urge you to see if he will seek medical help. Medical treatment and therapy and a suportive family can be of great assistance during these troubling times. Try this link out for more answers. http://www.depression.com/

Answer 6

If you feel he is depressed then encourage him to see the doc for a physical to rule out a medical cause for his feelings. Once he gets a physical the doc can help decide what treatment might be appropriate for him.

Answer 7

It could be a lot of things, CHristmas or seasonal depression, depriving of light causing deporession, or just general depression. A doctor would help, but in the mean time, just be supportive...tell him that he means a lot to you and such. He is listening, but not yet responding.