I have never even been kissed. How do I work up the nerve to ask out/kiss a girl that very obviously likes me? and exactly how do I go about asking her out?
2006-12-25 16:35:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How best to hide your inexperience? Don't!
Never be anyone other than yourself. Don't try to cover it up. This is who you are. Be proud of that.
But there is nothing wrong with putting a good spin on it. Make it into a endearing quality instead. Banish diffidence from your life, for this is what is holding you back. Be confident in yourself (but never arrogant), even when you don't particularly feel that way at the moment--it will come. Be patient.
Take risks. You WILL fail -- but that is the good news!
Every failure will teach you something and, believe it or not, no one is watching you waiting to laugh. No one is keeping score. No one but yourself cares if you fail.
You are not alone. We have all failed just as much. Some are just better at moving on, not letting it hold them back, not letting it bother them. These people know something. It doesn't matter, especially when you are attempting to do something at least one person (you) knows is a good thing.
So go out and fail like crazy, because before you know or expect it you will fail -- to fail.
Success!
But don't stop there! The success makes you feel wonderful right then, but if you look back on your life, it is the failures, the chances taken, the embarrassments and foibles that you will remember as the high points, the moments when you learned or felt something new about yourself or living life.
Don't just sit there. Don't think about it. Go out and do something completely uncomfortable, but nice, at least once a day. Don't worry, people will see a goof (if there is one at all), but they will remember the nice forever.
You can't approach a situation as if you only have one shot at it. Think of every romantic movie you've ever seen, where the people who end up together in the end usually hate or completely misunderstand each other in the beginning. You've got time, don't push it. If she already likes you you're already halfway there anyway.
Don't worry about working up the nerve to ask her out or kiss her, just get enough nerve to talk to her. The conversation, believe it or not, will work itself out in whatever direction it will go all by itself (by simple, mutual, perhaps subconscious desire). Let it happen.
Go up to that girl and tell her something that you would love to hear said to you if you were her. Ask her about herself, sincerely want to get to know her. Listen to her. Learn who she is. Never forget: Empathy is the most powerful force to create and sustain a relationship.
A note about intentions: If you're in it just for yourself and don't intend to respect this person for who she is, you don't deserve her.
Best of luck. Now go live!
p.s. Remember, you can't always get what you want, but if you try real hard you might find, you get what you need. --R.S
2006-12-25 17:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Miki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to 'hide' anything that you are. Have confidence in what you do. So when you see a girl who has the hots for you - go up to her, say "Hi! How are you going? My name is _____, I just noticed you had no-one to talk to and though what the heck - everyone needs a bit of conversation...." or something like that. Act as naturally as possible and if you stumble and stammer, smile and say "Sorry, I don't do this much.." I'm sure any nice girl would understand. When you get to the stage of asking her out - pick something less threatening - like a movie or coffee. Just say "I was wondering if you would like to join me for coffee tomorrow morning at [place]...?" And when the kissing part comes in... since it is your first kiss - don't gross her out by poking your tongue down her throat - give her a gentle peck on the lips - that would make her want to come back for more.
Good luck!
2006-12-25 16:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by landayi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LIE! if a girl ask you how many girls you've been with say two or one. as long as it is not a huge number. she won't question it and it will explain why you are still inexperienced. Its simple for your first time all you have to do is LIE! that's what most guys do.
So far most of the other people on this board have been giving you some bad advice "just be honest, just be yourself" How's that been working out for ya!? honestly, you have to stop caring so much and be a little bit of an a$$hole.
2006-12-25 16:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by michael H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of girls will LIKE the fact that you're inexperienced. The guy I like is the same as you, and I find it very cute. But if you try to act like something you're not, a turn can take for the worse. By acting unnatural, it can ruin a relationship. If you simply ask her out, she'll say yes, because (duh!) she likes you, so you have nothing to worry about. Since she already likes you for how you are, what's the point of putting on an act?
2006-12-26 02:34:32 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pretend to be some one you are not or bull shitting others its not nice.
Just ask her to go out with you,be a gentleman and be honest if your asked,she could be in the same position as you
Little kiss at the end of the date.
You said she likes you so go for it ask her out and have fun
2006-12-25 16:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by deb m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 21 and never had a bf... it's the guys loss if he doesn't like me. I have values and morals, and if he doesn't see that (if he wants to be with a sleazy girl) than he could go somewhere else. Just go up to her and ask her if she would like to go out with you. Don't be ashamed...if a girl is turned off by your inexperience, it's her loss. Be yourself, someone will appreciate you for who you are. BE PATIENT :)
2006-12-25 17:06:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 16 and i think its a turn off when i date girls that havent had as much experience as i have only because i think it makes me more attracted when they know what theyre doin. not like a total whore but someone who hasnt only been dating for a month or somethin like that. im not sure if this is the same way with girls, but dont make it like ur too inexperienced. or jus dont say anythin unless she asks and then make it sound a little better lol. good luck man
2006-12-25 16:57:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you haev never done anything with a gurl, does not mean that she does not or will not accept you for who you are. Plus any gurls would love to meet a guy like you, cause all these other guys or sleezy, dirty and not worth my time nor any other good female. You will find the right one
2006-12-25 16:52:49 · answer #8 · answered by SunSHine18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, most a lot of ladies like a guy to be inexperienced because that means to them that you aren't after sex. And are not trying to use them. Be completely honest, with her. Just ask her if she would like to go out with you sometime. I'm sure she'll say yes. Good luck./
2006-12-25 16:46:03 · answer #9 · answered by ProudToBeWhite 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Inexperience isn't really a big deal. Generally, the topic of exes won't even come up until a few dates in, so don't let it stop you from going out and having a good time. A couple good lines for asking girls out:
"Hey, would you like to stop for coffee with me sometime?"
"Would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime?"
"I'd really love to watch a movie/go skating/go on a walk/etc. with you sometime."
If she finds out you're new to dating, just reassure her that you just never found anyone worth your time before, or that you were busy focusing on work/school/sports/whatever before.
Good luck!
2006-12-25 16:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋