How can you correct your kid without destroying your relatioship with him?

Question

Sometimes parents have to take some harsh measures. My kid is good but is
doing bad stuff and for now I can't trust him. He's sensitive and saying this to him will be devastating. But I HAVE to make him change, or I may not have him at all. I don't want to destroy our relationship. He promised to change but didn't.

Answer 1

Try clear, firm and fair boundaries. Explain your reasons [consequences of their actions].

Above all be consist and for the child's sake, make sure both parents agree and follow through.

Any 'threats' need to be able to be carried out and above all, NO I repeat, NO violence under any circumstances.

Believe it or not the child will feel safer with reasonable boundaries and is less likely to go postal, feral or turn to substances.

Answer 2

Parents can't always be friends and buddies with kids. Kids will push and manipulate the boundaries. And ALL kids want boundaries.

You don't say what the child is doing, nor how old he is.

Show the balls of a real parent. Don't worry about hurting a relationship. The trust and honesty has already gone down the toilet if the son is making promises and not keeping them. What kind of relationship is that?

Create a set of rules. Ideally, the rules should be set with the cooperation of the child. Discuss the acceptable desired results. Discuss the unacceptable results. Discuss the rewards or consequences. Starting now let the child know that once the rules are set, there is nothing more to be negotiated. This is an exercise in building trust, character and reliability. Growth hurts for both the parent and child.

No more excuses on the parent's side and the child's side.
Now is the time for positive results and changes for the better.

Eventually you can be friends.....as mature adults, not right now when someone is messing up!

Answer 3

Without details of the behavior, it's hard to say. Some counselling might be in order for you and your son. You can contact his school and guidance counselor, who can then refer you to a competant therapist who can help you work through your difficulties. You are more worried about what might happen to his feelings than yours or others that he may hurt. Respect has to be earned. Discipline teaches children right from wrong. Make punishment fit the crime, and stand by your decisions once they are made. Do not cave in and back down. Will your child like these new rules, no, of course not, and that's the point. In order to have what he wants he will have to obey you. Period. When he has moved out of your home, he can make his own rules. Be the parent here, and that means being the bad guy now and then.

Answer 4

I think not correcting him would be worse than correcting. You won't destroy your relationship with him, and in the end he will love you for it. Even though it hurt me inside to be harsh with my 2 girls when they were growing up, they have really turned out to be the 2 greatest girls in the world with 4 children each. And I see a lot of the way I raised and corrected them in the ways they are raising and correcting their children.

I think that if he can't live up to his promise to change, then it is time to take action and stick to it. He will survive. Make a plan and follow through with it no matter how hard it is to do.

Answer 5

If you are afraid of destroying your relations ship then you did not have one to begin with,

You son is sensitive to his world then you would be apart of his sensitivity and do the right thing..

Sit him down with pen and paper and come up with a plan together to make better decisions because hes having trouble now.

the more leadership you give him, (direction) the better your relationship will be.. Good Luck

Answer 6

Of course he promised, he is a kid. They will say whatever to get off the hook.

It is your DUTY to rear your child, discipline your child and teach them the way to go. If you worry about being their FRIEND then you will damage them as adults.

My cousin did that.. he has a 16 yr old daughter who he NEVER disciplined, he didnt want to hurt her feelings or make her feel bad... she is now out of control and she has no understanding of bounderies. Further, she has no respect for authority becuase she never had to face any. She does everything she wants to and has no rules.

Discipline your child, its your duty.. you will be friends when he is an adult. You can ruin his life by the choices you are making in his parenting.....

Be firm and always end it in a loving way........

Answer 7

Kids will be kids, regardless of age. All kids go through a stage, and the worst one is the "I hate you" stage. Be supportive, but if you say no, then mean it, don't cave regardless of the situation. Kids without rules are like ships without rudders, without direction they just float about with no direction. Stand tall, be firm. Set realistic goals, rules, and punishments for rules that are broken, again, stick with the punishment. Soon things will change.

Answer 8

he's basically that. He thinks what he's doing is authentic, once you have had no adventure all your existence at doing something as properly taking money from the government in one form or yet another. You boost this mentality that regardless of is theres is mine, Obama says decrease one hundred mil properly i can think of of yet another 4 hundred ok he can decrease.. His earnings, throw the fool out. shop the money. i be attentive to we could could submit with undesirable Hair plugs Joe. yet hell he's stupid adequate to artwork for no longer something. He basically needs the interest.

Answer 9

hmm.yea had to agree kids are sensitive.Maybe u could try let your kid learn his own mistake on his own which is rather risky or bring up a real life case asking for his opinion and you share what u think about without implyin there is anytihng to do wif him as he might think u are indirectly directin to him.probaly it work.

Answer 10

it's called tough love. You are the role model for your shildren. You are their primary teacher. You have to direct them in the right path even if it means making them mad or taking the chance to run them off. Who else will he have to look up to that will show him the right way?